Posts by Taylor Howard36

Sam Smith3 said:How old are you even?

Look, places are just what they are—especially in our little "backwater" towns, given how much people here still cling to that old-school, small-town mindset...
New faces pop up everywhere, even in the middle of nowhere...
Come on...

None. 😢

So, what’s the deal with medication here? Like, are you expected to just shell out full price for everything yourself—because let's be honest, those prices look pretty steep—or is there a way to actually get them via a prescription through insurance?

outoftheblue said:But then I start overthinking it all again, wondering what on earth I could possibly be doing to mess up my own karma.🙂

Oh, please—you aren't doing anything wrong! Honestly, I think you’re a wonderful person—well, a wonderful woman, let's say 😍 charming, with a great sense of humor 😍 🙏

As for the internet thing—look, just try staying online for twenty-four hours straight and then hitting the sack... it totally threw my whole rhythm off, too... and from what I know about you, sleep is absolutely vital... so maybe just set a limit for yourself, like two hours a day... or whatever works for you... the main thing is just don't go overboard 👍 like I have been lately 😳

outoftheblue said:..... and now my sleep schedule is completely shot.

Honestly, 😬 my folks have been riding my back lately because I’ve been sleeping until 1 PM. 😬 Look, I didn't have any responsibilities hanging over my head—nothing!—so I just let myself indulge a little too much... I used to stay up surfing the web until midnight and be totally fine with it. I’d wake up naturally around 8 AM without even needing an alarm... no big deal. But now? There is absolutely zero chance I'm falling asleep before 2 AM... and from 2 to 4, I'm basically just staring at the ceiling counting sheep.😠

So, I was doing a little bit of scrolling through the web earlier and stumbled upon this... 😍

SCHIZOPHRENIA

It’s an illness that basically consumes the entire personality—we're talking very specific disturbances in thought, perception, and affect.
Usually the most common, the most severe, and honestly, the most bizarre
In most cases, it's chronic, sometimes even lifelong.
The name itself means "split mind."
It can lead to a complete disconnect between intellectual ability and emotion—basically leading toward autism.

EPIDEMIOLOGY
There's about a 1% risk of developing it.
Most patients fall within the age range of 22.9 to 26.7 years old.

CLINICAL PICTURE
Onset typically happens between ages 15 and 30.
Even the closest family members often don't realize right away that it's actually a medical condition.
The patient starts losing interest in everything around them—including themselves. They neglect their appearance and abandon hobbies they used to love. Their social functioning just tanks. That drive to change or improve their own life? It just evaporates.
They withdraw inward, communication drops off, they might listen to music for hours on end, lock themselves in their room, or just lie awake in bed for ages—sometimes even hiding under the covers with their head covered.
Their sleep cycle flips completely: staying up all night smoking and listening to music, pacing back and forth, only to spend the day in bed, either staring blankly or sleeping.
Then come the delusional thoughts—these "crazy" ideas that even the patient doesn't quite grasp at first, so they try to hide them from everyone else.
Eventually, it starts messing with how they perceive themselves: the boundaries between their own body and the world start blurring—that's depersonalization; then there's derealization (which is a core symptom of schizophrenia and psychosis, where reality feels distorted); affective inversions; autism; and they just progressively abandon all social norms...

THOUGHT DISORDERS
Thought withdrawal, mutism, fragmented reasoning, dissociated thinking, "word salad"—where the clarity of concepts and messages just disintegrates, associations break down, and speech becomes nonsensical and disconnected.

CONTENT DISORDERS OF THOUGHT
Delusional thoughts—unreal, bizarre stuff.
Paranoid delusions.
Lately, some patients even believe they are part of a TV program.

HALLUCINATIONS
AUDITORY—sounds, noise, creaking, music.
There's a "voice" that speaks directly to the patient, which they actually hear—this is dangerous because of the risk of suicide or homicide. These "voices" might even talk about the patient in the third person.
VISUAL—often linked with auditory hallucinations.
SOMATIC—the patient believes their body has been altered or is being changed by some outside force.
Like believing radio or TV signals are rearranging their internal organs, or that a doctor implanted something inside them to shift their anatomy. There are also descriptions of phantom pregnancies and sexual hallucinations.

OLFACTORY—though these aren't typical for schizophrenia, more for epilepsy.

PSYCHOMOTORITY—hypokinesia, Hyperkinesis, stereotypy.
Hypokinesia—a slowing down and reduction of movement, sometimes leading to stupor.
They can stay in the exact same position for hours—like a "psychological pillow."
Negativism—refusing food, broken contact with people, and impaired communication.
Hyperkinesis—catatonic restlessness; intense agitation without any trigger, involving movements and walking that they simply cannot stop.
Stereotypy—for instance, repeatedly walking from one bed to another.
Mannerism—unnatural, odd movements.

DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA:
1. Hearing one's own thoughts out loud.
2. Talking as if responding to auditory hallucinations.
3. Two or more voices discussing the patient in the third person and commenting on their actions.
4. Thought withdrawal and/or loss of feeling.
5. Thought insertion and/or forced feelings.
6. Others being able to read the patient's thoughts—meaning others know what they are thinking.
7. Imposition and control over one's will and impulses.
8. Cenesthetic hallucinations—feeling one's own organs or sensing their autonomic functions.

Source: http://www.geocities.com/very_dark_a...zofrenija.html

I can't believe I'm even typing this out—it’s honestly exhausting just thinking about it—but here we go. I feel like I've said it a thousand times already, and I know I probably sound like a broken record, but someone has to say it! It’s just one thing after another lately, isn't it? You try to do things the right way—you really do—and then suddenly everything just falls apart because of some ridiculous oversight or just plain old bad luck. It’s infuriating. Honestly, it’s enough to make you want to just pack it all in and move to some quiet little town in Vermont where nobody bothers you, though knowing my luck, I’d probably trip over a pumpkin within twenty minutes. Anyway, I digress. What was I saying? Right. The point is, we need to stay focused, even when everything feels like a complete circus. kaže:
Just one little bracelet from Lourdes, some trinkets from Fatima—and then there’s that one specific little stone I keep tucked right under my pillow.🙂

Good grief, I actually have a necklace and a cross from Fatima sitting somewhere around here too... jeez, I completely lost track of them! Honestly, if they were bought at Fatima, I’m pretty sure they’re supposed to be blessed—isn't that how it works? Or am I just losing my mind again? 😬 Look, Al, is the real issue just that the chain is acting a little bit wonky? It feels like it’s skipping around—just a bit jittery, if you know what I mean—and honestly, I can't tell if it's a minor hiccup or if I'm looking at a total disaster waiting to happen. 🙄 They sold it off to everyone like it was pure silver—absolute madness—but in the end, it turned out to be nothing more than some cheap silver-plated trinket. What a joke. 🙄

Taylor Howard36 said:Look, I actually really like i9, but whenever I use it, I get this weird sensation—like something just entered my system when nothing actually did. As for those "phantom" sensations everyone talks about, I’ve definitely been noticing some progress there lately.😍

I don't have a single one myself! 😢 I seriously need to go out and pick something up 😬
So, what kind of phantom stuff are you actually dealing with?

Andrew Harris7 said:I am honestly on the verge of a total breakdown here. My mom just brought over some holy water from a retreat camp her friend attended to sprinkle all over the house—and she’s started spraying it on everything. How am I supposed to feel okay about this? I feel like I’m constantly running away from it, and now I’m starting to feel obsessed. It’s actually terrifying.

Oh man, why though??? 😍 Don't let your mind go there! I mean, come on, it’s holy water!!! 😍 Mind you, I haven't stepped foot in a church since middle school (unless you count those weddings I've had to attend over the last few years)😍 Personally, I’d actually love to have something like that around... or maybe a blessed crucifix that I could just use as a lucky charm! 😍

briskgull27 said:Listen, you hillbilly—you smoke because it makes you feel nostalgic, right? Like it’s some callback to your glory days or some ex who walked out on you.
And you claim you aren't eating much just so you can ignore everything else going on in your life—as if that's an excuse!
.................................................. .................
The truth is, you're overeating because you're starving for something real. You aren't hungry for a sandwich; you're hungry for love, for attention, for actual happiness.
Get it!!?
Goodnight.
🙂

Exactly. 🙂

briskgull27 said:When we talk about people spinning yarns about what's actually causing this stuff, we could start with smoking, too much caffeine, binge eating, staring at computer screens for twelve hours straight—you name it, it's all in there...

Look, just break it down for me—give it to me straight, plain and simple, like we're just sitting on a porch in the Midwest.😬

briskgull27 said:Not at all—I actually had a different thought brewing—maybe I should just build a website
like "Anonymous Schizophrenics," with its own domain, just to get everything off my chest and have some actual freedom
a site for: chatting, info, recommendations, support, community, and all the latest breakthroughs in both medical and alternative fields😎

That sounds great☕
but honestly, I can't wrap my head around how nobody knows about the patient advocacy group when it’s common knowledge that they exist... I did a little Googling myself, but there is absolutely nothing online.... it's just weird.... I mean, seriously, nowadays almost every single organization—whether they're making a profit or not—has a website somewhere out there in the digital ether....

briskgull27, what's the deal with that patient advocacy group for schizophrenics? Any chance you've managed to track down a phone number or an address?

Regarding those test results you mentioned the other day—the ones you were waiting on—was that from the MRI?

...and while we're at it—let's take a quick headcount—exactly how many schizos are actually lurking in this thread? 🙂

Wishing you nothing but the absolute best in 2007, outoftheblue!!!! 😘

...............and I’m betting the actual lunatics are the ones sitting in hospital beds right now.

No123 said:Look, I’d work if I could—and honestly, I shouldn't have to be digging ditches—because I’m actually an electrical engineer. But I just can't see myself landing a job anytime soon. Even when I try, nobody wants me. They actually reached out to me from the Department of Defense asking if I was interested, so I said yes, right? Then I spent ages filling out mountains of paperwork. They went over the salary, what my day-to-day would look like, all that stuff... I even signed two non-disclosure agreements promising not to breathe a word about my work. And then, after all that? They told me they thought I was too "burdened by the war"—that they needed someone who would focus solely on the job, and they felt I’d just be a distraction. So, there you have it—that's how they treat people like us who actually lived through the conflict.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... an electrical engineer... 😍
Stay as far away from the Department of Defense as possible—there's nothing for you there... you're a smart guy who can (and absolutely MUST) find work elsewhere. Find something that actually fits who you are. You pulled off a grueling degree like that; don't let all that effort go to waste. Get back into your field! 🙏

Regarding the whole issue of work capacity—do you honestly believe you’re incapable of working? Because I’m right there with the commission on this one—get back to work! 🙂

briskgull27 said:YEAH, YOU'RE SCARED

honestly, I’d be feeling the exact same way...😢

So, wait—you were only 19 when you went through ECT? Just one single round of six sessions and that was it? Nothing else after that?🙂