I honestly think it’s best if we wrap this discussion up right now—mostly because I’d hate to see anyone end up getting banned, and besides, I am certainly not the one at the center of this topic!
Salevart, I see it’s you now! Look, what happened to me—it really fits the description of our condition, though I suppose you might not be fully acquainted with all the details yet. See, we have this tendency to imagine things that simply aren't there; in clinical terms, it’s called paranoia. My mother and I were sitting together just the other day—we share the exact same diagnosis, after all—and we heard someone laughing outside. She turned to me and asked if they were laughing at us. It can be incredibly difficult for you to truly grasp the reality of what we deal with.
Ouagadougou said:You’re just playing pretend and acting like a martyr—but let's be honest, you aren't actually that sick. You're just twisting things to suit your own narrative.
And where exactly were you six years ago when the storm was actually hitting?
Well, thank goodness I'm in stable remission now! So, you've got a point there. My intention was simply to point out that this isn't the kind of illness where you can just snap your fingers and make it disappear.
Jose Ward4, thank you so much! I honestly couldn't for the life of me think to Google Jodie Foster.
Jamie Lewis, here is a much more intense example of what a psychotic state actually looks like—though, of course, you can probably tell this isn't just some minor seasonal flu. It’s honestly quite harrowing to witness, let alone experience firsthand.
I mean, once you see that, try to wrap your head around the thin line between rational thought and total psychosis.
Explain my situation to me, ash tray guy: I wake up, turn on my computer, and there's a large crystal ashtray sitting on my desk. I head to the bathroom to brush my teeth, and while I'm there, I decide I'd rather have my small crystal ashtray on the desk instead of the big one. I finish up and go make some coffee. When I get back to the desk to swap them out, the small one is already sitting there, and the large one is nowhere to be found. For a split second, I actually thought I had swapped them through sheer willpower.
What do you think actually happened with those ashtrays?
It's like we should set up cameras just like in that famous movie—you know the one—where the woman travels into space and then returns, but the camera footage shows nothing but static. It all happened so fast! In the story, she traveled into deep space and was communicating with her father—who has passed away—but nobody believes her, even though she insists the whole experience lasted eighteen hours. Meanwhile, she was only in the capsule for a tiny fraction of that time. At the end of the film, an expert points out something truly bizarre: how could the recording possibly be eighteen hours long? Does anyone remember the title? It's a very famous one!
Sin is sin—period. There is no such thing as an "addiction" that excuses the action. If you know deep down that smoking is wrecking your health, yet you keep lighting up anyway, that choice doesn't suddenly become any less damaging just because you call it a habit. It’s pure luck, divine grace, or some stroke of fate that keeps lung cancer at bay. Do you follow my logic here? Let me give you a harsh, sobering example from my own life. When I was twelve, I attempted suicide. Because of how I handled it, every doctor involved assumed I had been assaulted. That cast a massive shadow of doubt over my father—a suspicion that I can never undo or fix, and I can only imagine how much that weighed on his life. It certainly wasn't fair to him. I did what I did because I was spiraling in a pit of deep depression and utter hopelessness. While that might seem like a tangent, the truth is that I could have overcome my situation if I had simply been honest with myself—if I hadn't let the lie that "everything is hopeless" take hold of my mind. Essentially, when someone is in a suicidal state, they aren't truly themselves; they aren't living in the truth. If they were, they would either be fighting against those thoughts or they would have abandoned them entirely. 🙂
Chloe Flores83 said:Everyone assumes I did it all myself and just forgot, mostly because they can't think of a better logical reason. If this were happening to someone without schizophrenia, sure, they might stop and wonder. But since we've got that label attached to us, people just chalk it up to forgetfulness. Honestly, hallucinations feel like a much more likely culprit. When you're dealing with schizophrenia, weird things happen, and you often act in ways that seem silly or nonsensical, but never quite "crazy" enough to be tossing clothes everywhere or throwing knives around the apartment, right? That's because during a psychotic episode, you're living in this parallel world where everything makes perfect sense, no matter how disconnected the pieces seem. Plus, some stuff in my place has just straight-up disappeared—like my journal and a few other things—while other stuff just shows up out of nowhere. Go ahead, try explaining that to me... just don't tell me I threw it in the trash and forgot. 🙄
If something like this happened to a healthy person, they would easily be diagnosed with schizophrenia themselves. While there is certainly plenty that happens by accident—or rather, due to our own mistakes—there is also the element of divine intervention; God truly wants what is best for us, especially during times of illness. However, God wouldn't work against Himself for our sake. I believe Christ did perform miracles to prove His presence, but that was done once. After that comes history, and then the future. Everything is in God's hands—that is, according to His will, not ours or anyone else's for that matter.
Jamie Lewis said:👍 Thanks for the input. Now I know exactly where I stand, but honestly, it doesn't even matter much. 😁
God is perfect. Simple as that. It’s honestly beyond comprehension! All the best to you. I actually have this one thought regarding God—it goes something like this: A man cannot be God, yet God can certainly be a man. Quite an interesting paradox, don't you think?
Chloe Flores83, I wasn't actually there with you—honestly, my spirit was just going through such an intense period of suffering. I’ve never been an aggressive person; the one time I ever truly clashed was during a single argument with my sister. Back then, I felt this overwhelming sadness because I genuinely believed I had passed away—that everyone around me had grown old while I was gone—but after my "death," everything felt fresh again, filled with new people, and I realized things would eventually be okay. Everything feels brand new now! I spent so much time grieving because I couldn't stop thinking about a parallel universe where my entire family is living in mourning because of me—it made dealing with my suicide attempt and the weight of what I "did" absolutely unbearable. That is exactly why I would never, ever go through with it again. The spiritual agony I endured because of that choice was immense. It is a heavy, serious sin. If only I could go back and say I never even tried, but... well, what happened, happened.
As for those strange occurrences, I have definitely heard stories about them existing. When I was in that state—just a spirit, really—I would wake up in the morning while everyone else was still asleep. I’d be sitting there, lost in thought about death and God, when suddenly—out of nowhere!—the TV would just click on by itself and start playing songs, or I’d see messages pop up downstairs saying "good morning" or "happy birthday." That is what I remember most vividly.
Greetings to you all! First off, I truly believe that every single one of us can find our way back to a healthier phase in this journey—it just requires us to be steady, patient, and incredibly thorough about it. We really shouldn't spend too much energy dwelling on the negatives; instead, let's try to stay anchored in the here and now. It’s all about progress, not just running headfirst into a wall! You have to actually *do* something. Even the tiniest detail can completely throw a person off balance if they aren't careful. So, take a moment to give yourself some credit—celebrate the fact that you accomplished this or that, even if it was just one small task. Little by little, we move forward. At least, that's how I see it! I have total faith in all of us. 🙂
At the very beginning of my illness, I was honestly convinced I had become a ghost. Seriously—I spent so much time questioning whether I was even alive or if I’d somehow slipped into some sort of parallel universe! It was quite the existential rollercoaster, really. 🤦
Wow, you all certainly didn't hold back! There is just so much written here that I can barely keep up with it all 🍿
Chloe Flores83 and Harold Anderson3—I’ve been reflecting on something lately that I think could be a huge help for all of us. Basically, Harold, I feel like you don't always recognize when what we’re experiencing is just... well, nonsense. It’s those distorted perspectives that creep in at the wrong time. I really believe we need to become experts at spotting when these false beliefs are trying to sneak up on us—we have to correct ourselves immediately, otherwise, they just spiral out of control! That’s where the real work happens. We can't let ourselves get swept up in things that aren't actually true, though I know how hard that is because—as Robin Lopez2 always points out—we all have this stubborn tendency to think we're right about everything. It’s wonderful to have someone to guide you, but honestly, sometimes the most level-headed people in our lives should be the ones pointing us back to reality. As for God, Chloe Flores83, remember that God is the one in control here, not us. Period. But there has to be some kind of order to it all! God doesn't just let us do whatever we want; everything happens for a reason. Plus, a relationship with God is such a deeply personal matter since we are all so uniquely different. You have every right to choose whether or not to believe—that is entirely your own will. You can choose not to believe in God and still be a wonderful, good person. At least, that’s my take on it anyway!
And honestly, even if we feel completely certain that our current situation is the absolute reality, we have to remember—that feeling itself is just another symptom of the illness.
Robin Lopez2, you’re being a little bit contradictory here—I mean, in one post you were insisting that seizures are treated strictly with pills, and now you're claiming they don't have to be 🤔. Ah, I see what you did there—you were actually making a point about psychotherapy .
Robin Lopez2, while antipsychotics and these other medications definitely serve as the foundation of treatment, they really aren't a silver bullet—you need so much more than just a prescription to truly heal. We’re talking about genuine emotional support, deep understanding, consistent psychotherapy, a supportive environment, and all those other vital pieces of the puzzle.
Chloe Flores83, that sounds a bit like you’re trying to run an experiment on your own brain—which, honestly, can be a slippery slope! You really ought to stick to the established protocols here. I find myself circling back to my cancer analogy again—it’s just so fitting! It’s like someone deciding to skip a single round of chemotherapy because they think, "Hey, maybe I'll just feel better if I bypass this one dose." That’s just not how it works. As for sleep aids, I am right there with you. Most doctors will go to great lengths to avoid prescribing them whenever possible. I used to rely quite heavily on Sanvale myself, but my physicians were very firm about getting me off of them. To be fair, whenever I did take a Sanvale pill, I’d wake up the next day feeling... I don't know, just sluggish and totally wiped out? That sensation eventually fades with prolonged use, but it still feels like using them for too long isn't exactly the healthiest way to go about things.
Chloe Flores83, thank God I have a doctor who is truly one of the absolute best in the US! He’s been nudging me in that direction almost from the very beginning—though he takes things quite slowly—but lately, he’s started insisting on it. I am just so incredibly happy to hear that you're feeling better! Is xanax being used as an add-on for you? It makes me wonder if your doctor might be utilizing a different style of psychotherapy than mine does :nezna: