30 posts shown.
Kate Sullivan22 said:Utopian? Maybe.
Look, I’m not just dreaming. I have a 3.5-year-old son who was conceived right when I was unemployed and our bank account looked pretty grim—honestly, a total disaster. But we had one non-negotiable rule: we wanted a kid.
I laid out all those factors above because everyone’s priorities are different—some people just go with their gut, while others need a whole checklist... "the right time" or "being ready" means something totally different to everyone.
I think your reason is basically the only one that actually matters,👍 but honestly, so many women don't even realize they're ready because they're stuck waiting for all that stuff you mentioned—my bad if I misread that. Anyway, getting off topic again.
Melissa Kern6 said:Ugh, everything is closed here in Canada until Monday. There’s this little red dot on my skin, almost looks like a tiny broken capillary. I've been using cold compresses on it—is that actually okay?
A cold compress might take the edge off, sure, but honestly? You should probably just listen to the advice and head to the nearest ER. This isn't something you mess around with. What kind of hit was it—what did they hit you with, and how hard?
Kate Sullivan22 said:Being ready means actually wanting a kid, having the mental and emotional bandwidth for them, knowing you're willing to put yourself on the back burner for a long time, being financially stable, having solid emotional connections, family support... a thousand different things.
And the "right time" is just whenever it actually happens.
Asking someone who doesn't even want kids... interesting choice of topic.😉
Look, I’m not trying to lecture anyone. My question was purely technical—and if I recall my first post correctly, I explicitly said I wasn't looking for a moral debate. The question-when regarding the "right time" was just pure curiosity, though it looks like I veered way off course. Btw, you're sounding a bit utopian with all this stuff about timing, the stars, and whatever else. Go back and read crimsoncrane9's post. The whole point was to hear from brave women who can actually talk through deep psychological trauma. crimsoncrane9-THANKS.
electricowl7 said:I think it’s a deeply personal thing—it all comes down to why someone chooses to end a pregnancy. Some people have to deal with medical issues, while others just weren't planning on being pregnant in the first place.
I don't want kids until I'm actually ready either, and yeah, I've had an abortion on my own terms. Honestly? When it was over, I felt such a sense of relief. There's zero chance I'll ever feel depressed about it.
Look, we all have our own takes and the Freedom to say them. I respect where you're coming from, but I'd love it if you could give me some idea of what "being ready" actually looks like... like, when is the "right" time?😕
Nicole Davis7 said:I ended up having an abortion after getting pregnant despite being on the pill. It happened at six weeks, but those first five weeks—back when I didn't even realize what was happening—were straight out of Hell. There was zero "glow" involved. Since I was regularly on birth control, this was totally unplanned—just constant vomiting, nausea, waking up in a cold sweat from nightmares, weight gain, exhaustion, mood swings, anxiety... just feeling like I had zero control over my own life. It was eerie. Now, I don't even touch sex without pills and condoms (!) because the mere thought of getting pregnant again paralyzes me with fear. I don't regret the abortion one bit and I don't have any trauma. I'm happy now. I live my life exactly how I want to. And honestly? I don't know a single woman who had an abortion and ended up miserable because of it.
I really hope you stay happy and keep staying in the driver's seat of your own life. Seriously. Unfortunately, there are way too many women who don't have that kind of privilege, which is exactly why I started this thread.
Olivia Green74 said:I heard about this back in my high school religion class. The idea was that women end up mentally fragile—especially during the anniversary of the procedure. Looking at the women I know who've gone through an abortion, I guess it really just depends on their personality. Some don't give it a second thought, some talk about it constantly, and others hide it away like a dirty secret. I knew one woman who struggled heavily with her mental health afterward, though I can't say for sure if it was because of that, even if she did go through with it.
And yeah, it feels like those women aren't ever truly happy. At least, from what I've heard about the ones who made that choice. Obviously, that's just my take.
I believe it’s not easy for them! Human morality runs deep, and in situations like this, it’s hard to just shrug and say, "it was my right" or "it was just my decision." But hey, I don't want to preach.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts—especially the part about morality being hardwired into us... without me trying to act like I know everything. Angel-THANKS for the comment.🙂
crimsoncrane9 said:It’s definitely NOT true that it shows up with such a huge delay... speaking from my own experience—unfortuantely—I’m claiming the exact opposite.
I went through that awful ordeal myself; because of medical reasons, I had to end my pregnancy almost in my 5th month... and it just wrecked me.
It hit me immediately... the symptoms were terrifying, and I won't bore you guys with the details here... I ended up seeing a psychiatrist too... I'm still finding my way back (though I find myself asking "...where did it go?" more often lately) and honestly, I'd never even heard the term PPD before this. I was diagnosed with classic PTSD... because, let's face it, that isn't just tied to war trauma.
...and yeah, those women definitely aren't happy... especially if they felt "forced" into it after already experiencing the beauty of pregnancy and childbirth.
I truly feel for you. I know quite a few women who had to terminate pregnancies, and most of them went through Hell. I want to give you some real credit for being brave enough to seek help—it shows you can recognize a problem and actually tackle it. I believe you're on the best possible path toward healing. I truly wish you peace. Now, when people talk about PPD, they usually mean the aftermath of an elective termination where a woman decides she doesn't want a child. After that initial sense of relief or "happiness" mentioned in one of these posts, everything seems fine for a while. Then later—sometimes triggered by the beauty of motherhood you described—PPD sets in. There's a difference between your tragedy and what feels like the easiest path to someone in a seemingly dead-end situation. Regardless, I think you're a strong, brave woman who is moving forward despite the setbacks. Stay strong.👍
p.s. 5-10 is a joke. Honestly, it’s not even hard to see how things could change if you actually bother to use some logic for once.
Alexander Lewis said:Wait, you start a thread about X just to lecture us on definitions? Five to ten years later? Seriously? Your whole explanation feels like some kind of delayed PTSD. You say "experts," but you mean psychologists—this whole thing smells like politics to me.
Look, I laid out a definition because I wanted to see how many people actually know about this—specifically the women who have lived through it. PAS is basically like PTSD; it’s a syndrome that shows up through a specific set of symptoms and reactions. Post-traumatic syndromes don't just happen after a war, you know. And even then, PTSD doesn't always hit immediately—so your "delayed" comment misses the point entirely. My goal was simple: figure out how much awareness there actually is and how we can help women caught in these situations.
It shows up through psychological struggles and mental health issues women face after an abortion. It usually stays under the radar for 5 to 10 years—then, suddenly, the guilt, grief, and shame just start hitting all at once. You lose your confidence, feel a weird repulsion toward men, and deal with this overwhelming sense of despair, constant flashbacks to the day it happened, and in many cases, depression or even suicidal thoughts. Getting past the denial is really the first step toward healing. Has anyone here actually dealt with this? Anyone working in this field—have you even heard this specific term used before? P.S.—I’m not trying to start some massive moral debate about whether abortion is right or wrong; we've all heard enough of that already. I'm not saying people don't talk enough about miscarriage either—you can never talk too much about that—but that's not what this is about. This is specifically about the potential direct aftermath of a procedure that's already done, and I'm looking for real experiences or maybe even names of clinics or specialists who can help women navigate this.