casualotter21 said:Some potential plot spoilers coming up ahead.
Even though I really tried my best not to include any...
So consider this a pre-emptive spoiler alert, which hopefully absolves me of any responsibility if I accidentally ruin the experience for anyone...
The movie was one of those experiences where nobody actually knew what to say once we walked out of the theater. About fifteen minutes later, we were standing at a tram stop near a Washington, D.C. square when we realized some hot little Japanese woman in a long black coat was barely three feet away from us. We immediately backed off, staying well outside the reach of an average katana...
There’s no such thing as an
average katana! Every single katana is
per se above average. A katana is just so incredibly superior that if you’re planning to take down the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad (because you can't write that in lowercase, nor can you say it without shouting it in a fake accent), you’d buy a katana instead of a handgun. You'd say, "I need a
nihonto... to take out the thugs." Katanas are so efficient that even in The Matrix Reloaded, where things are arguably stupider than in the real world, they can slice right through a car. In our actual reality, they could probably slice through at least two cars. So, if something can cut through two cars, how could it possibly be considered average? QED.
And finally, let me try to guess what happens in the sequel. I’m betting Uma Thurman dies in the final showdown against the last villain, and it’ll happen in such a way that they both strike each other simultaneously, falling to the ground in slow motion to die in each other's arms. And I’d also wager that before the second part ends, we’ll definitely get one more look at that guy with the katanas delivering some ancient Chinese wisdom about the dangers of vengeance.
How absolutely terrible!
"Revenge... is like a box of chocolates; you can choke on it, just like if you eat the whole damn box."
I mean, the film is incredible... 🙏