My father-in-law is back from the hospital, and he's looking quite frail. He’s barely eating anything, and whenever he tries to take a sip of water, it ends up coming right back up through his nose. It honestly looks like his body is just starting to shut down. Should I bring up the idea of a feeding tube with his doctor? A home health nurse is stopping by on Monday, so I mentioned to my mother-in-law that she should ask if they can administer an IV. I'm not entirely sure if those visiting nurses are authorized to do that, though. I have a feeling we don't have much time left. Every time he has a coughing fit, it exhausts him so much that he just falls asleep. He can't even walk anymore; my mother-in-law will try to help him sit up for a moment, but he immediately sinks back down into a lying position. It’s all just incredibly heavy to deal with. :-( The only silver lining is that my sister-in-law gave birth two days ago. However, unless it's just via video call, I highly doubt anyone will actually get to meet the new baby. She lives in Sweden, and there's no way she'll be able to travel anytime soon. She won't be around to meet my little one; I still have about three and a half months to go.
Nicholas Price18 said:Urgent request: if anyone happens to have some Megestrol on hand to sell or donate, please reach out to Sandra in Rijeka at 095 573 7900. It's currently unavailable in any pharmacy across the US; we've placed an order, but there's no telling when it will actually arrive... Thank you so much!
The word is that it should arrive by late August (according to Halmed, the supplier). I actually managed to find it at a pharmacy in Dug Sela; specifically, the Grgošić pharmacy located at 17 Josip Zorić St, 10370, Dug Sela. My mother-in-law mentioned they supposedly received some in Daruvar as well. It might also be worth asking your local clinic if they have any unused supplies lying around; my mother-in-law's clinic actually gave us a half-used pack she had, which someone had likely donated.
Benjamin Grant6, I remember reading your posts back when my own mother was fighting this same cancer; unfortunately, she lost that battle after two years. Now, I find myself back here again because my father-in-law has reached the terminal stage of esophageal cancer, and we’re all just left wondering how much time he really has left.
I truly admire the strength your mother showed throughout her fight, and seeing how she refuses to give up gives me hope that she can keep pushing forward.
My father-in-law is still in the hospital. The coughing up blood seems to have stopped for now; apparently, his doctor mentioned a ruptured vessel in his lungs was the culprit, compounded by some dehydration. He’s currently on an IV and has already received two units of blood, though my mother-in-law says he's having a hard time breathing. It might be due to fluid in the lungs. Is there any way they can perform a pleural tap to drain it? My mother-in-law hasn't brought it up with the doctors because she's terrified of hearing bad news, and since we're out in a different part of the state from where he's staying, it isn't exactly easy for us to drop by.
My brother-in-law coughed up blood this morning, so they rushed him over to the hospital in Pakrac and left him there. My husband says they haven't given them any updates yet. What kind of situation should we be bracing ourselves for?
Rachel Williams said:Things aren't quite like that for us yet—my mom is still completely independent—but reading this thread feels like a sort of mental preparation for what’s eventually ahead with her... She was diagnosed with Stage IV adenocarcinoma of the lung with lymph node metastases about a year ago. She went through chemotherapy and radiation, but we didn't see any real movement. Honestly, over this past year, there hasn't been much change at all, for better or worse, thank God. Her markers are nearly perfect, so we're just hoping things stay this way for as long as possible, especially since she's back home in the States and I'm out here in Austria.
I've read quite a few of your posts here, and I truly hope your father lives to see at least the grandchildren🙂
Thank you.🙂 I really hope your mom manages to keep that independence for as long as possible. My father-in-law initially seemed to recover well after his surgery, but between the chemo failing to work and the disease itself—specifically the recurrence and those metastases—things have taken a turn, and now we're just waiting to see how much longer he can hold on. My sister-in-law is due to give birth in two weeks, so we're hoping he makes it to at least that milestone. My own due date isn't until early December, and I honestly don't believe he'll be around to see mine😢.
Unfortunately, that’s just how things work here. It feels like we're forced to step up and handle everything ourselves. There’s really no point in having paid into Medicare for 42 years if they’re still going to play games and draw arbitrary lines between which critically ill patients qualify for help. I’ll start looking into renting a pressure relief mattress for him. Togtherwise, I’m at a loss for what we’ll do when things take a turn for the worse. My mother-in-law simply can't manage his care on her own. Does anyone know if there’s a decent geriatric unit in the Daruvar area, or are we stuck choosing between nothing or some overpriced, low-quality nursing home???
Rachel Williams As follows: Anytime. 🙂 I am glad to see you succeeded. 🎉 I’m not sure what the situation looks like over at your father-in-law's place, but my mother can barely manage to eat anything unless she's on Megestrol—with it, she seems to be doing much better. 🙂
I honestly can't say for certain myself; he eats just a little bit at a time, but everything absolutely has to be blended and finely minced. The worst part, though, is that coughing fit that hits right after. On’s strength has completely bottomed out. He spends the entire day confined to bed, and he's reached a point where even getting up to the bathroom isn't an option anymore. His mother has had to resort to washing him in a washbasin just to keep him clean. I suggested she look into hiring a home health nurse, just to take a little bit of the weight off her shoulders. He’s talking a little too, mostly because he clearly has nothing better to do with his energy.
Rachel Williams said:I have no idea where you guys are located or what's convenient for you, but we picked up Fiza for Mom in Dug Sela, just a day after we spent half our time driving around the outskirts of Chicago.
We’re on the west side of town, but it’s honestly no big deal to drive out to Dug Sela—it’s right on my way when I head toward Daruvar anyway. Which pharmacy did you go to? I might give them a quick call to see if I can set a reservation.
Angela Wright As requested: Oh, honey...😢 Well, look at that—as long as he’s still breathing, the fight continues. They'll find a way to patch him up somehow, I suppose. 😢 I am truly sorry to hear this; you certainly didn't deserve to go through this. 😢
Thanks, dear. Unfortunately, this is just a burden we have to shoulder. 😢
My husband just called me from the States. It turns out he’s dealing with an infection in his left lung. They put him on some antibiotics and sent him straight back home. The surgeon echoed what the oncologist already said: less is more. For now, he isn't planning to touch anything because it’s simply not the priority. Instead, he recommended that the oncologist refer him for radiation—I’m assuming palliative—just to provide some relief and make things manageable for as long as possible.😢
Things aren't going well on our end. My father-in-law ended up in the ER yesterday because food got stuck again—it looks like his esophagus might be narrowing. After they exhausted him with tests, they sent him home, only for him to start having trouble breathing later that evening. He saw a surgeon today, and my husband tells me he started feeling pain on his left side while still at the medical transport service. He ended up back at the emergency room over at the local hospital in Jordanovac for lung imaging. I'm still waiting to hear more from my husband, who is there with him now.
I honestly don't know what we should expect anymore, or if we're just living day to day...
He received two blood transfusions and an IV yesterday, which seemed to give him a bit of a spark. My mother-in-law mentioned that, for once, he actually sat up at the table instead of just lying in bed all day. The doctor back in Pakrac told him that the issues have spread to his lungs and liver, suggesting he needs to head back to where his surgery was performed to see if they can manage the situation. I told him he’s heading to the LOM today to pick up his referral; I'll fax it over, and then next Tuesday he'll be seeing his surgeon over in Jordanovac to find out if there's actually a plan of action or if we're looking at doing nothing at all. The wound isn't leaking anymore, so hopefully, the antibiotics are finally doing their job.
My father-in-law has developed a pressure sore while on dialysis. I’m trying to avoid spiraling down a rabbit hole of endless online searches, so could someone please suggest what kind of ointment works best for this? Also, does anyone know where I might be able to pick up a pressure-relief mattress? My mother-in-law mentioned that his primary care doctor told her things are going to get incredibly difficult from here on out, and suggested that when the time comes, it would be best to transition him into hospice care. I'm honestly not sure if they'll just accept him into a facility without much notice, but we'll have to see how things unfold. It brings back memories of when I had to care for my own mother; she was incontinent, semi-conscious, and immobile, and I was living right there with her. Eventually, I had to move her to a nursing home in a nearby town, where she passed away just a week later. My mother-in-law lives alone with my father-in-law, and her sister-in-law is currently in Sweden and due to give birth in three weeks, so she won't be able to help out anytime soon. Meanwhile, my husband and I are 93 miles quite far away and can't just drop everything to head over there at a moment's notice.
The oncologist gave us the short version: that external lump is actually a fistula connected to the lymph nodes, and it’s currently stuck to the small intestine. It’s inflamed right now—there’s pus draining from his navel—so he's been put on antibiotics, specifically Augmentin and Metronidazole. If he wants to look into having it removed, we should seek out an abdominal surgeon, though I have my doubts about that being an option. At the very least, they should handle the dressing changes and take a culture of the discharge. On top of that, he’s severely anemic; he needs a blood transfusion within the next week at the latest, and his blood pressure is running quite low at 90/60. It all points back to the disease progressing, so further chemotherapy isn't recommended (which, honestly, wasn't a surprise). For now, the plan is to use pain patches, keep him hydrated, and try to get more nutrition into him—he’s already dropped 5kg in just a few days.
I’m just clinging to a little hope that we can patch him up enough to keep him with us for a while longer. In my opinion, we shouldn't bother bringing Cepulic in for treatment until he’s had the transfusion and we hear what the abdominal surgeon has to say.
My mother-in-law just told me that my father-in-law has developed some bleeding around that lump he has on his abdomen. What does that actually mean? Is the tumor breaking down and causing the bleeding? She took him for blood work today, and she mentioned that even his blood counts aren't looking good. I'm heading to the oncologist with him tomorrow, and honestly, I'm terrified. I don't know what to say, and I'm scared they might just tell him to come home to die. How much time can we realistically expect? My mother-in-law says he’s already struggling to even sit up; he just lies there all day. My sister-in-law is due to give birth in about a month, and I desperately want her to at least see one grandchild born. I'm terrified mine won't make it that far—I'm only halfway through my pregnancy... and she's so excited to be a grandmother. :-(
Angela Wright said:What did the oncologist say? If I were in your shoes, I’d head over to Cepulic for a second opinion as soon as possible.
We haven't made it there yet; we just got the results back today. Tomorrow, we’re heading to the local clinic with the referral, and our first stop will be her primary oncologist. Depending on what they tell us, we'll decide whether to move forward with Cepulic.
We finally got the results back, and it’s bad news. The cancer has returned in one area, all the previous metastases have progressed, a tiny 3mm spot appeared on the lung, and there's some fluid buildup in the left chest... I honestly don't know if there's any help left to give or if we're just waiting for the end. 😢
My mother-in-law says he's taking pain medication every single night now, and his strength is just fading away.
We actually managed to pull some strings through my father-in-law's connections to get her into a CT scan yesterday, rather than waiting for the original July 23rd appointment. We should have the results later today or tomorrow, though I can't help but feel a sense of dread about what they might actually show.