David Nelson74 said:It’s a shame that even when people realize they’re struggling, they won't go to a psychiatrist because of the stigma or just plain fear. My therapist actually told me a little story once to help break down my resistance to meds and therapy.
(I used to deal with OCD and social phobia, and pills were never an option for me.)
She said: imagine a lumberjack working alone in the woods. Suddenly, an accident happens and a tree falls on him, crushing his leg. What would his diagnosis be? Probably a crushed limb or a broken bone. That’s a relatively "simple" injury to treat, and after a year, he could fully recover. But what’s the real problem? The real problem is the massive log pinned against that broken leg—something weighing a ton that requires outside strength and assistance to move before the injury itself can even start to heal. See, the injury isn't the biggest hurdle; it's that heavy log (which represents our skepticism toward doctors and medication) that keeps us stuck. If you don't move the log, the whole situation turns toxic and spreads.
I don't know if that little story would be enough to convince you to go see a psychiatrist, but I know it didn't make me regret my own decision to stay away.
To be totally honest, I just went to see that "famous" psychiatrist, you know? It wasn't even like I was scared or anything. Once I realized how much this whole situation was messing with my life, I just went for it—zero shame involved, really. And honestly, if she’d told me I needed to start taking some meds, I probably would've been okay with it too. I mean, maybe I'd hesitate a little, but I guess a woman knows what's best for herself, right? I wouldn't have spent too much time overthinking it.
I don't know... I kind of feel like even my psychiatrist is totally lost when it comes to me. Like, I show up and start talking, and she’s supposedly "listening," but sometimes I catch her staring off into space like she’s just completely checked out. Maybe she’s got her own stuff going on, I guess. Probably my problems don't even seem that big to her. Or maybe she's just wondering if she should grab takeout or cook something for dinner tonight. Who knows, really.
I mean, I can't say my sessions with her haven't helped at all. Like, through all those deep dives, I’ve definitely realized a ton of stuff about myself, which is cool and all. But honestly? I was kind of hoping for some actual directions or, I don't know, concrete advice I could actually use in my daily life. Instead, she just sits there listening, and then we basically end up concluding things like, "You just need to be more assertive," or "Stand up for yourself more," or "Learn how to be okay being alone," and so on and so forth. But, I guess if I already knew how to be okay by myself, I probably wouldn't even be sitting there in the first place, right? It's just... I'm wondering what I'm actually supposed to *do* when a panic attack hits and I realize there isn't anyone around me. Like, what am I supposed to say to myself? How am I even supposed to help...?
Maybe I’m being a little naive here, and maybe I shouldn't be expecting this kind of thing from her, but I just don't see how just sitting around talking about it is actually going to help anything. Like, everyone keeps telling me, "You just need to be more confident." As if I haven't already thought of that, you know? Or, "You need to learn how to be alone." Sure, I'd love to. I really would. It's just... how does one actually *do* that? I guess there's no manual for it or something.
Ugh, I’m such a handful sometimes, sorry for making things so complicated. I guess I just overthink everything way too much. I spend so much time trying to talk myself down, you know? Just trying to push away that paralyzing fear that hits me out of nowhere in certain situations and attempting to stay chill. Things feel a little better lately, I think, but there’s still a mountain of work to do. It feels like all this stuff from my childhood is finally catching up to me at once, and honestly, I don't even know where to start. I really regret not sitting down with a therapist sooner. Like, if I had actually wanted to face my issues back when I was in my early twenties, I probably would’ve sorted so much more by now. But nope, I just decided to ignore it all and hoped it would just… disappear? Yeah, I was pretty clueless about that. But hey, whatever. It’s never too late, right? Good luck to everyone else out there on their own healing journey! Sending you guys all the grit and courage you need...