Sam Martinez9 said:I think there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding here. You’re looking at my previous posts and assuming I was purely reacting emotionally.
In a way, you're right, but in another, you aren't.
I shared a specific situation based on my own life experience—and since personal experiences are pretty much all we actually have—so I find it somewhat strange when people on this forum claim they know exactly what someone else is thinking or feeling when they've never even met them.
I suppose I view things differently; I would never dream of telling you, for instance, that you have no clue what one of your own friends is thinking or wanting, or that I somehow know their mind better than you do.
I can certainly offer my assumptions about what a friend might be going through, or speculate on various possibilities, but because I lack the lived experience you possess, I will always defer to your judgment. You know the individual far better than I ever could.
As for my friend, she confided her intentions solely to me and no one else; not even her family is aware of what she was planning. This isn't someone who goes around fishing for sympathy or attention by making threats of self-harm. We have known each other for decades now—we have a very deep history—and I see absolutely no reason for her to lie to me. Given that she hasn't told anyone else... I can only conclude that her intentions were genuine. She truly would have gone through with it if her daughter hadn't called.
The people on this forum just have a different perspective than yours, and looking at things from multiple angles isn't a bad thing. I don't think anyone here is
claiming to know the person better than you do.
You mentioned she only confided in you, yet somehow her daughter knew enough to call and stop it... how? Was it an intuition? Does she just know her mother that well? Did you tell her? Or maybe... are you the daughter?
Look, if you know this person as well as you say:
Would anyone actually want someone to die because of them (whether during their life or after)?
If they would, what does that say about that kind of person?
Your friend lost her son... should her daughter have lost both her brother and her mother? From a mother's perspective, what was she supposed to do?
What does your friend think about mothers who wouldn't do what she wanted to do? Maybe they didn't love their sons enough?
Would she try to prevent or encourage other mothers from doing what she intended to do (if they were considering it)?
She has a "reason to live" now... but anyone who has a reason to live also has a reason to die.
If you're emotionally attached to something, don't bring it up here. Don't cast pearls before swine.
Right now, I'm just the "swine" trampling over your feelings, and you basically handed me the opportunity.