Posts by John Perez8

I spent the weekend in downtown Chicago, and here is my assessment:

Over at Old Navy, they have some larger sizes available. Most aren't on the racks, but that doesn't mean they're out of stock; you just have to ask one of the more proactive sales associates.
The styles are contemporary enough and don't look dated, but the fabric quality is a disaster. Most of the inventory is pure polyester, which I personally refuse to buy unless I absolutely have to. A polyester blazer $250—in my opinion, that's just too much. Nothing was on sale, so I clearly missed the window; there isn't anything in the store priced under $117. For instance, there was a sleeveless top from Svile, which I rarely see, but it had an elasticized hem. It wasn't bad, except the fit was terrible on me, so I passed. I didn't buy a single thing.

I ended up dropping a significant amount of money at Macy's. It’s great because they carry the same trousers in multiple lengths—short, medium, and long—so keep that in mind if you want a perfect fit without needing alterations. They are offering a 15% discount on purchases over $147. They actually have decent stock and sizing right now, so I bit the bullet and bought something before the larger sizes were snatched up and I was left with nothing.

At New Look, they have linen and cotton trousers in larger sizes located immediately to the left when you walk in, about $53 of them, in case anyone is interested...

Regarding Pumpkin Spice or whatever the name is, the prices seem comparable to Old Navy, but the materials feel more natural. However, the cuts are much more basic and feature those tacky, rural patterns that look like something out of a folk festival, so I didn't buy anything there either. :-)

Looking back at everything, I mostly walked away with athletic wear; I didn't find anything suitable for the office. For professional attire, I'd suggest checking out Sisley (near the downtown business district) or Vartex. Their material quality is significantly higher for roughly the same price, and they carry larger sizes if you know who to ask. I usually manage to squeeze in, so you likely will too.

Tom Taylor has excellent men's vests for around $53. They are 100% cotton, featuring white and navy nautical stripes and various blue-and-white combinations perfect for cooler evenings. The quality is genuinely high.

If you prefer natural fabrics and classic silhouettes, I recommend the Lady XXL boutique on Tratin Street—it's the road that runs through the city toward the residential districts, on the left side.

It is quite interesting how none of you actually addressed the specific symptoms I laid out, choosing instead to pivot toward my character and feel entitled to lecture me on how I should live my life 😁😁 even though I never once asked for your input. Given this blatant personal attack and the total lack of commentary on the actual medical issues, the only logical conclusion is that this topic hit a nerve for you 😁

You even went so far as to label me lazy 😁 which is laughable considering you have no idea who I am or what my work ethic actually looks like. You all seem to be generalizing a bit too much if you ask me. Don't go projecting your own flaws onto the rest of the world 🙂

Yeah, I think I finally found the right people to ask 🙂 those who actually take this personally 🙂

I came across this listed as a symptom on one of those medical websites 🙂 You clearly haven't read the whole thing, or you simply have no interest in doing so. Whatever.

Why on earth are you defending him when you don't even know the guy, especially since you clearly didn't even bother to read the symptoms I laid out? 😁 You calling this projection is just a reach.

@Mr Pringles, thanks for taking the time to reply 🙂

It would honestly help me find it easier to accept his behavior, because you can't really stay angry at someone just because they are sick, right? I don't want it to seem like I'm just looking for an excuse to protect my own ego, because that’s far from the truth. My ego is fine. I am almost certain he is ill; I'm just not sure about the specific diagnosis, but the more I read, the more I suspect it might be schizophrenia. I can actually see how things spiraled—a combination of circumstances, being forced away from family due to work, then those long years of war, followed by military service which meant constant deployments, "saving" the world, and all that. There were moments where I genuinely thought he was completely out of his mind, but I couldn't understand why nobody else seemed to notice except me, until I realized they probably did see it but simply couldn't deal with him because of various other obligations...

Ultimately, you're right that I can't change anything; he doesn't live in my city anymore and it's a long story, but I feel for him, just as I feel for anyone suffering from an illness. He tried to pull me back in several times, and it took me years to build up an immunity to his manic episodes and manipulations, finally realizing that nothing would ever come of it and that these are just phases he goes through. I barely managed to escape that relationship mentally, and I'm still recovering, but I definitely feel like he stripped away a significant part of my personality—the better part of me. I tell myself that everything will heal in time, though that feels more like wishful thinking than reality, as the scars will always remain...

It would mean something to me if someone just said, "Yes, you're right, he is a seriously troubled individual." Because if that were acknowledged, I wouldn't have to keep questioning my own perception; I could just accept that he is sick and realize that whatever he says from here on out is completely irrelevant. I can't quite explain 🙂

@Karen Garcia4, I respect how well you handle your condition, truly. You're right—unless you're a Templar or a messenger from God, everything else is just noise..hahahaha

@I sometimes get worked up thinking some guy loves me when he really doesn't, maybe because he says a few kind words or something. It makes me wonder if that's just a mild form of psychosis 🙂 or if I'm just being too naive and foolish for my age.. 🙂

I can't 🙂 but I have noticed a similar pattern with his heavy reliance on those "religious" themes and narratives, though he sits at the complete opposite end of the spectrum as a devout believer. He is absolutely convinced he was a Templar in a past life, which is something I've read is a common delusion among police officers and military personnel, much like himself. It isn't necessarily a clinical pathology, but rather a phenomenon frequently documented in literature where people in professions dedicated to upholding justice and the greater good develop such convictions...

Karen Garcia4, can you actually specify what you were doing during those peak periods?

Look, if someone snaps at their subordinates, that doesn't automatically make them schizophrenic. If they were drinking heavily, does that change things? If someone was using drugs back then, they're just an addict, not schizophrenic.

Like I said before, I really can't tell if these people are just "a little messed up and unhappy" or if they are legitimately ill. Because based on everything you guys have been posting, it sounds like I’m schizophrenic and everyone I know is too. We all have our moments where we act out...

Why am I bringing this up? My uncle had a diagnosis, supposedly a severe one, but nobody ever bothered to tell me what it actually was. My aunt on my mom's side was the same way, and so was my cousin... I don't know the specifics. Basically, I used to worry that if my cousin "inherited" it, I might too. Even though her brother always insisted she was fine and that the family just drove her crazy—which, honestly, I think there's some truth to. Anyway, I went through some testing and interviews, and they just told me I'm resilient, stable, above average intelligence, blah blah blah... and just "hypersensitive." Personally, I don't see that as a flaw; I see it as a virtue because I actually have a conscience and I give a damn about people.

Given my own history and my family's issues, I truly am unsure whether these people are "crazy" or if they are just miserable and a bit broken by the bad situations life has thrown at them.

Alright, I saw that comment about the basil :-) You went a bit overboard there :-) But maybe that behavior was just a result of drug use rather than an actual disease? Or what?

p.s.
Fine, I'll stop talking about myself. I was simply interested in your take on the symptoms mentioned above.

We went our separate ways, but I have to be honest: I feel like broken goods after that relationship. It’s only now, more than four years later, that I’m finally finding my footing because I’m finally admitting that the man was truly sick... and that is a hard thing to face.

It’s similar to how I view my mother; I suspect she has some kind of undiagnosed condition, and since retiring, things have only taken a turn for the worse. I just don't see how I can help her because her behavior isn't extreme enough for a court to strip her of legal competence, yet everything about her is simply not right. I have to admit that if there is anything in this life that genuinely terrifies me, it is these kinds of debilitating illnesses, especially the mental ones.

Hey everyone.
I happened to stumble upon this thread, and after reading through some other posts, I’ve come to the conclusion that my ex was schizophrenic. I always knew he was dealing with something, but I could never pin down a specific diagnosis because nothing seemed to fit perfectly. Looking at this description, however, it seems to align quite well, so I would just like to hear your thoughts:

The symptoms included constant forgetfulness and massive memory gaps—for instance, he wouldn't remember a book we discussed just yesterday, even though he was holding it because he found it on my table. Then there were these hyperactive phases where he’d get so wired he’d be running around like a headless chicken, looking completely agitated and unable to sit still, even during something as simple as grabbing coffee at a Starbucks. This would alternate with periods of total silence and depression where he wouldn't speak to anyone and would just shut down. One thing that was always present was his inability to make eye contact; regardless of who he was talking to, he would always stare off somewhere else, which is what led me to suspect schizophrenia. He also had this narcissistic streak, believing he was far smarter, better, and more capable than everyone else, almost like some kind of Superman. He lied constantly to everyone, though I’m not sure how much of it was intentional versus an attempt to cover up his memory lapses. He lacked empathy, except for what seemed to be learned behavior, like showing responsibility toward his children. On top of that, he used to have auditory hallucinations that he told me about; for example, he’d touch an object and claim to hear voices from the past, like when he was visiting the Western Wall in Jerusalem and touched it, hearing people's voices... but he remained aware of it and refused to tell others because he didn't want them to think he was crazy.

Does this sound like it fits within the realm of schizophrenia? He was employed and worked, though I can't say he was particularly successful since I suspect his employers started picking on him, likely due to his forgetfulness and mistakes, but I can't say for certain.
I've considered whether it could be PTSD (he was a very active veteran), Alzheimer's (since he forgets things from yesterday but remembers his childhood), a sociopath (though he does feel concern for his kids and shows some emotion, so maybe not), or a narcissist (which fits, but it feels like there is something deeper going on here).

To be honest, the guy drove me absolutely insane. I won't go into the details, but it took me several years to recover, and I honestly feel like I might never fully heal; he left a permanent mark on me. Much respect to everyone here, but I would never enter a relationship with someone who is mentally ill if I knew from the start. What terrifies me is how these people can look perfectly "normal" at first glance. Just like the original poster mentioned, she seems normal—she's married, has a husband, travels, drives a car... everything looks perfect on paper, at least externally. That is what personally scares me. My other question is: aren't we all a little "crazy"? Realistically, everyone has their own internal chaos they could unleash if they just let themselves go. So, I'm still not entirely sure if these people are truly ill or just deeply unhappy and lost, but that's probably a conversation for another time.

Any comments regarding my ex are welcome... and also, how does one help people like this from the sidelines? Is it impossible? Do you just watch it happen?