Posts by shadowbadger49

Raymond Booth40 said:I really need to understand why he won't commit to anyone. Honestly, being with him just leaves me feeling completely drained; I feel like my brain has been wiped clean and I'm not even the same person anymore.

Look. You're being exhausting about this. The guy already told you he’s done, and Amen. It shouldn't matter why. Honestly? My advice is to clear your head and just focus on getting back to the MLS.☕

Raymond Booth40 said:Every single time I try to move on, you aren't there for me, and honestly, I don't feel like being with anyone else either. Is it even normal that he completely broke my spirit? I ended up walking away at 25 because I just lost all interest in men entirely.

No, it isn't. The man told you no. Why continue to obsess over this? Grow up. You claim to be 25, yet your behavior suggests you haven't even hit double digits. Leave the man alone and stop chasing these ridiculous, half-baked delusions.

jadetinker85 said:I have been, obviously. It is much harder to find someone to actually fall for than it is to find someone for a casual hookup. 🤔

One does not simply "find" someone to fall in love with. It either happens or it doesn't. But when it comes to a casual fling? One can always ask, "Why not?" ☕

Sean Kern2 said:Can someone please point out where I actually called her an angel? You don't need to be some NASA rocket scientist to see the girl is just incredibly naive. Besides, I’m not about to go out of my way to kick someone while they're down, regardless of gender—I've got at least a little bit of class left.😉

The real issue is that she's been tied to this guy since she was twenty-one, and he's spent four years conditioning her through sex. You want to talk about that?🙂

The problem is definitely that self-proclaimed predator; everything we're reading from her perspective is just the aftermath of being with him.

Oh, absolutely. Apparently, "kicking her while she's down" isn't enough, but tearing him to shreds is perfectly fine. And let's not forget: the guy isn't even here. According to her narrative, we're all just arguing with ghosts.😉

Rachel Richardson said:The guy isn't to blame; he's playing with his cards face up on the table. She's the real issue.

Exactly. If he hadn't been so transparent, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. He laid it all out—take it or leave it. She chose to take it, yet now she's making a scene. 🙂

Sean Kern2 said:Seriously, go back and actually read your own posts. If it’s true that she was only 21 and he was already 33 when this whole thing kicked off, then yeah, that just adds another massive layer to his responsibility, doesn't it? He basically conditioned her to believe she’s good for nothing other than being his occasional distraction. Honestly, wouldn't it have been better if he’d found someone who could actually make a living from their talents instead?

But honestly, looking at the situation now, I can see exactly how this plays out. She’s going to play the "devoted partner" role for another three years until he hits that big 40, just so they can seal the deal with a pregnancy and make sure he’s stuck in this mess forever. Isn't that just classic?

Look, lady, do you actually think he’s going to pop the question just because you get pregnant? Or that he’ll suddenly step up and take care of the kid? If you aren't trolling me—and honestly, at this point, I'm starting to think you totally are—then you need a reality check. He won't. He’ll just give you the same old lines he’s been feeding you this whole time about how he doesn't care. Whether you're joking or not, good luck to you. You're gonna need it.

Exactly, I was thinking the damn same thing while reading through this thread.

If I were here to defend him, I’d say the same thing, but I find it hilarious how you all pin the blame on him while treating her like some kind of angel. How much longer can you possibly keep defending her after the nonsense she's pulled? 😉

Rachel Richardson said:The girl is only 25, yet she's describing some pretty extreme scenarios—getting pregnant without knowing.
She really ought to lay low; she doesn't need this kind of attention.

Some people really ought to be banned from the internet. 🙂

Raymond Booth40 said:Why seek psychiatric help?

The fact that you can even pose such a question is telling enough.

You don't need a relationship; you need professional psychiatric help. Honestly, I think the moderators should just lock this thread.

Sean Kern2 said:Look, I'm not her lawyer, and honestly, I don't even get the dynamic of this relationship in the first place. All I'm saying is, it's totally messed up that after four years he hasn't committed to her. People get more attached to their pets in less time than that, yet he acts like he couldn't care less. That's just pathetic. If I were a guy in that relationship, I would never treat someone the way he treats her. If I were in that spot and realized my girl was catching feelings for someone else, I'd sit her down, have a real talk, and then end it. I'd find someone cooler who actually matches my vibe. That's what fair play looks like.

The way he's acting is straight-up disgusting—it's primal, almost animalistic behavior. Besides, he doesn't even have a choice; it's easy to act like the alpha when you're dealing with a girl who is completely wrapped around your finger. He needs to find someone as cold as he is, and then maybe he'd actually have some standards. I guarantee it.

By supporting him, you're basically talking about yourself. 👍 And if you want to go there with explicit language about how people "screw" each other over, well, the feeling is mutual.

Would you please explain how you concluded that I am supporting him?
I am not supporting him, but I do believe he isn't the only sleazebag in this story. In my view, she bears more blame because she allowed herself to be screwed for such an extended period. 😉

Raymond Booth40 said:I’m staying, but... Alain Zanna made a great point above. If he knows I’ve already become emotionally attached, he should end things right now to keep it fair play. Instead, he keeps pulling me back in. Honestly, I don't think he's actually okay with calling it quits. He keeps calling me just to check in, even after I've turned down his attempts at meeting up or getting intimate. I find it hard to believe someone can act this way well into their 40s...

Hold on. Why would he be the one to end it if he's perfectly happy just using you? You're the one who fell in love here. You aren't looking for an exit; you're just coming to this forum to complain that he isn't playing the villain. Grow up. 😉

Sean Kern2 said:Can you actually explain the logic here? Since you clearly seem to be an "expert" on how people work, why would anyone stay with someone for four years if they only wanted sex and nothing more? Nobody is really that desperate.

There are plenty of other people out there, so why obsess over a girl who went all in while he was just passing through? He should've seen it coming. What a pathetic loser.

Why bother making it official? From the jump, they were just sleeping together. It’s your classic Friends with Benefits setup—everything is fine for both parties for a while. But then the guy realizes he doesn't have any feelings involved. Maybe they aren't even on the same wavelength, and because of that, he figures an actual relationship would only make things worse. She doesn't see it that way, yet she still pursues him physically without hesitation. Eventually, she decides she needs something more serious. He refuses, and suddenly, she can't stand being around men. I should point out, though—she explicitly said she doesn't want anyone else. Which basically means she still wants to sleep with him, provided he finally gets her a girlfriend.

I didn't say he missed it. He saw it, and he voiced his opinion. She just couldn't handle it. Yes, what a pathetic loser—she’s clearly a saint who descended straight from heaven. 🙂

Sean Kern2 said:Look, any sane person would have caught feelings for a professional after four years, right? But this absolute loser is just using this girl for his own selfish needs for years on end, only to tell her straight to her face that he's perfectly fine with things staying exactly this way and won't offer anything more. It's bottom-of-the-barrel behavior. 🙂

And she allowed him to use her for four years without issue? Why is she the one at rock bottom? The guy doesn't want a relationship with her. That is the extent of it. 🙂

Sean Kern2 said:Naughty, naughty.🙂

We're totally off-topic here.🤣Honestly, I don't even know what else (smart) I could possibly add to this thread.🤣

Oops... OP, you know exactly what you need to do. 👍

Incredible. She’s complaining about being used by someone she isn't dating, and then claims she doesn't want anyone else because men have become repulsive to her. In other words? She’d love to participate if there were no consequences involved. 🙂

Why would anything change if his only objective is physical gratification? Why bother? Just walk away. Maybe he’ll find someone else to hook up with by tomorrow, and then you can sit there feeling "sorry" for yourself. But if you're actually looking for something meaningful, I’d strongly suggest cutting ties with that kind of dynamic immediately. ☕

By the way, an open relationship isn't the same thing as an FWB arrangement.