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Larry Hayes said:There isn't much point in making excuses... if anything, I think your post is entirely accurate.
Don't bother signing up for any of those basic classes (and by class, I mean things like "Defend yourself against a knife in two weeks"). Instead, sign up for Krav Maga and really put in the work.
The mental block will likely ease up quite easily, and then your real challenge will be trying to restrain yourself from hitting an idiot 😬.
It's not just women there (though there are groups, so I suppose you should go check for yourself). But to say these classes are exclusively female—they aren't.
More or less, we all deal with that hesitation when it comes to getting into a fight. You overcome it through training, gradually, until one day a switch just flips in your head and you start going absolutely ballistic.
That guy in the car will probably run right into someone who, in a moment of pure instinct, pulls a Glock and points it at him. Especially during the late hours, let alone on a standard workday. 🙂
Wait, I'm a little confused here. Is Krav Maga a martial art that you "train" in (like, for 2, 3, or 5 years straight), or is it more like those short-term courses that wrap up in a few months?
Hey there.
I have a question. I’m posting it here instead of starting a new thread, hoping someone can give me some actual answers.
To be clear, I'm male, 20 years old, and on the leaner side physically. I have a massive issue when it comes to "entering a conflict." Basically, whenever a situation arises where I should step up and handle some jerk, I just freeze. I turn to stone and find myself unable to fight. It’s like I have this internal brake that everyone on these forums says you can't "fix" unless you take the initiative and force yourself to move.
Part of it is definitely my build and lack of conditioning, but the main driver behind this "freezing" when it matters most is mental. It isn't even that I feel like I can't win because someone is stronger; it’s more that I simply don't dare. Part of that stems from how I was raised—taught to be decent and unassuming—which feels pretty useless in this absolute mess of a country we live in right now.
The breaking point happened recently. I was walking back from hanging out with friends, just chatting at an intersection, when this kid—maybe 16 or 18—bursts out of a Target and yells, "Hey, screw you, God!" At first, I thought he was talking to someone I knew, but then I realized he was just being a complete idiot for no reason. Some people might say, "You need to shut fools like that down so they don't get attention," but that's not how it works in my head. My heart, soul, and body want to tear that disrespect out of him, but the part of me "down there" just won't dare. And that’s what’s eating at me.
Now, before anyone thinks this belongs on a psychology forum, let me clarify a few things:
1) Can someone serious tell me—since I don't follow this stuff closely—is it true that self-defense classes are mostly women? Is it actually "shameful" for a guy to show up to those, and what's the typical male-to-female ratio?
2) Since I went into detail about my situation, can anyone advise me on the best path forward? Does it make sense to sign up for those Krav Maga courses? I read they offer some "psychological" preparation for confrontation, but it seems like most of it is geared toward protecting a woman from a crazed attacker. Is there anything actually useful for my specific situation? Where is the best place to start solving this? The gym, self-defense training, medication...?
Also, if anyone knows of any other specific training programs or has any advice for this particular problem, please speak up.
Thanks in advance.