Posts by neonsailor58

hollowtrucker77 said:The matter is officially closed, much to everyone's relief, and all the topics have been restored to their rightful places.

The threads are back, sure, but there’s always that one forum member who finds it incredibly difficult to move on. I don't know for certain, but I suspect such a person exists. Well, find a way to resolve that too, if you can. 🙂

Jose White18 said:Per editorial instructions, it’s either one or none. Besides, chat is strictly prohibited by the rules, though we might occasionally tolerate a single chat thread.

2) On what basis are all three moved? They are labeled strictly as "chat" topics, yet anyone reading them can clearly see they aren't just small talk; people are discussing very specific issues like being a mistress, infidelity, or an adulteress.

How are those considered chats? 🤦

3) How many regulars can be on a chat topic, and how many new people need to join within what timeframe before it's declared a "closed group"?

Do you honestly think there's an exact definition for that? Do you really think we have to reach a consensus on such a judgment?

4) IF they actually meet objective criteria for being chats, why were all three removed at once, despite having totally different lengths, subjects, and communication styles?

There is no reason to remove them in the order they were created, nor is any one thread more significant than the others to warrant staying while others go. It wouldn't be right to show favoritism to one side over the rest.

5) Where did this need for a violent, aggressive, and baseless intervention come from? These threads worked perfectly fine for years, drew people in, and ultimately helped them.

A violent and aggressive intervention would have been closing those chats entirely.

Because.

This is completely unfair. What does she have to do with the fact that wanderingranger41 started this thread and the rest of us responded to it? I can't quite decipher if wanderingranger41 opened this just to be provocative or not, but I know for a fact that I was the one being provocative. C-sunny certainly wasn't, I'm positive of that.

I didn't even get a chance to see the thread from C-sunny, but I am certain she opened it because she needed to—because right now, she is the one who actually needs it.

I really think that ban should be lifted. Please, just lift it🙂 because if anyone on this forum needs it right now, it’s her. Just ban me instead😉 if you absolutely have to, I suppose.😁

And honestly, it would be quite nice if you could write something along the lines of: "We messed up, we made a mistake." You know, something human, if that's even possible. And regarding the moving of chats from clear skies without any explanation (neither I nor Nicholas King saw them when they were supposed to, only much later), and also regarding Sunny once you lift her ban...🙂

Michelle Wilson8 said:Oh, fantastic!
Just keep going right ahead, 🤣

You too!
(selling your soul like that😢, it really doesn't suit you)

Honestly, I have absolutely no clue what they’re trying to get at here. What is the point?

In my estimation, these discussions ought to be filed under ZUD so that the community can actually find their way back to them. That said, there’s absolutely no need to start foaming at the mouth over it. Honestly, I am struggling to wrap my head around some of these reactions. I mean, seriously—if you can let something like this get you this worked up, how on earth do you manage to navigate actual life problems?🤷

It simply isn't worth my effort.

I have said this many times before, and I was certainly not the most popular person for saying it, but I believe this Topic regarding affairs became OFF topic a long time ago. It should be the one place where I would actually step forward first if I ever found myself in a bind. Some people, thank God, did chime in. Especially lately, there have been pages upon pages of absolute nonsense. Honestly, I just couldn't bring myself to read through all that, watching how Zeli ends up in a complete mess.

Actually, because of those particular individuals, it might be better if things reverted back to ZUD. Not that I’m suggesting the current Topic is high quality—not by a long shot—but circumstances dictate a change.

When I open a new thread, whoever feels like posting can certainly do so. As for the moderators, they are right there, performing their duties to the best of their abilities.

If you honestly consider this to be oppression, or some kind of blatant disrespect, or whatever else you want to call it, then I can only assume you’ve lived a life entirely devoid of any actual hardship.🤷

The only real issue I see here is that newcomers are going to have a hell of a time tracking down this thread, especially if the posting frequency starts to taper off. Once the activity dies down, it’ll just vanish into the digital abyss. Beyond that, I don't see any other problems. As for myself, I can't quite tell if I've gone too far OFF topic, or if I'm being low-brow, or whatever else you all might say. Honestly, I've lost track of where I even stand.

I think I've said enough about this matter. We're done here. It was amusing for a moment, I suppose, but now it’s simply grating on my nerves. Consider this discussion closed.

John Hill said:Alright, look, I moved this thread to where it actually belongs. And just to be clear, decisions like this aren't made by Jose White18 alone, or by me, or any single moderator acting on their own. These three specific threads have been a mess for a long time now. Originally, there was just one single discussion about cheating. Then, a few women showed up claiming they didn't fit into that specific conversation, so three separate threads about adultery were opened. We allowed them because we wanted to be accommodating; we thought splitting things up would cut down on the constant bickering by letting people group themselves by interest. Instead, it just created these little cliques that ended up warring with each other. In any other normal situation, when threads get this out of hand—where moderation becomes a nightmare because we're constantly deleting arguments—you’d just lock them down. But because we wanted to cater to the regulars who frequent these topics, we kept putting it off. Eventually, we hit on the idea of moving them to a section of the forum with more relaxed rules, so they can still have their space to hang out. As for ZUD, we might eventually open a new thread regarding infidelity for new people interested in the subject, but this time without all the fragmentation and the clan warfare.

Exactly.

Maybe if you had actually communicated this within the threads themselves—or better yet, before moving them—we wouldn't be seeing such explosive reactions.🤷

Personally, it would have felt somewhat more normal to see the usual bickering over the last few days. Or am I just not reading the room correctly?

Michelle Wilson8 said:Is it just that one thing, or could we actually count this as a first, or maybe even a second, signature? 😁

I suppose every single post counts as a signature, doesn't it? 😁

Michelle Wilson8 said:I really feel like moving all the heavy-hitting discussions over to OFF topic is basically the beginning of the end for them—it’s where they start losing their sense of purpose and why we even bother, and honestly, I think in the long run, it’s going to have the exact same effect on the Life for Two subforum too.

It makes me wonder, how is a newcomer—someone who actually needs a shoulder to lean on or some genuine support regarding a specific issue—ever supposed to stumble upon our topic if it’s buried way over in the off topic section? 😕

Not to be dismissive, of course, but I have to ask: what kind of logic are we using here? How is it that we don't belong on ZUD, yet topics like dealing with difficult in-laws, helping out parents, long-distance relationships, porn in a marriage, or even when a husband tells his wife she's mentally unstable... those kinds of things, which are individual struggles and often quite superficial or fleeting, are considered appropriate?
Are we eventually just going to be left with nothing but wedding planning and divorce proceedings?
There won't be any actual life captured in between those two extremes....😢

So, provided our dear Jose White18 doesn't decide to delete this thread on a whim, I’m asking anyone who feels the same way I do to please leave a comment to show support for "bringing back the outcasts, Jose White18 style." 😍

I find myself wondering about that too.