Posts by Jason Scott76

Emily Ortiz27 said:Has anyone dealt with Lichen planus before?

Not sure how much this helps, but here’s my experience. When it first hit me nine years ago, by the time we got a diagnosis, most of my body was covered—pretty much everything except where the sun hits, like my face, neck, and arms. Creams were mostly useless, except for one time when a doctor gave me a custom blend to dab onto each spot individually. It took a while, but that actually calmed things down. I don't know the exact formula, but it was definitely high-strength steroids. I also took pills to kill the itching. You just have to be patient; the goal is just to see improvement. The spots or scars lingered for about a year or eighteen months—it receded slowly—but I didn't mind that part as much. As long as it stopped bothering me physically and mentally, I could live with it.
The sunlight wasn't an issue; if anything, I spent more time outside because the sun-exposed areas stayed clear. That's not medical advice, just what happened to me.
Back then, there wasn't much info out there, so I'm not sure what the standard is today.
It flared up again about five years later, but only in one small area. We went straight to the doctor, knew exactly what it was, used cream and pills, and it cleared up fast without spreading.
I felt the same way when they told me it was chronic and likely to recur, but honestly, the second episode wasn't even worth mentioning compared to the first.
Also, watch your stress levels. Chronic stress can be a trigger; at least that's what I was told during both episodes. I don't know what else to tell you, but I'll leave it at this: the hardest part is finding the right treatment. Once you nail that down, it gets easier. I don't even think about it anymore unless I read something about it. I suspect it'll be the same for you—you just have to find what works.
As for light therapy or other stuff, I don't know.

nimbleranger17 said:The latest word is that isolation periods for those asymptomatic cases or folks just dealing with mild symptoms have been slashed down to seven days—provided, of course, you’ve actually cleared the illness or have been vaccinated, and there won't be any arbitrary expiration date on that status.

That’s exactly what I need to clarify—does this apply to people who tested positive but are symptom-free, say by day two or three? I'm reading through this, but I can't quite wrap my head around how it connects.

Great commentator—the Norwegians just don't quit. They’re constantly right there, breathing down our necks.

I have no idea how they’re supposed to pull off a win for a medal when they can only manage a one or two-point lead... give me a break.😁

Our keeper was feeling it today, and we were hitting our marks... just a shame we couldn't close the deal and wasted all that momentum.

I’m actually going to miss that specific handball-induced aggravation😁

goldenmarlin64 said:It’s pretty obvious. I just tend to approach problems by trying to understand the other side first—if that doesn't work, then it doesn't work. Throughout this entire argument, I didn't get a single shred of empathy from her, especially since I was being vulnerable about some personal struggles. All I got were comments like "you should have handled your life differently" and "this is entirely your own fault."

If an acquaintance had actually responded to what I told them the way I would have, it would have shut down her entire aggressive, insulting approach immediately. She could have just asked how I was doing, listened, and realized that my perspective isn't just some random whim—it's based on what I expect from relationships based on all my other friendships.

Honestly, I talk to people I don't even know in real life—people I've met on internet forums whose stories I've read and seen they're struggling. Every few days, I reach out to check on them because they're dealing with depression; I listen to their problems and try to help. That doesn't make me a saint; to me, it's just basic human decency.

On the flip side, she twisted everything to make me look threatening or dishonest just because I didn't share every single detail with her. This was someone I mostly communicated with via text and only saw when she didn't have anything better planned; I always felt secondary, like she didn't really see me as a person, which is exactly why I didn't feel brave enough to open up about the deep stuff. I never felt like she was actually listening. But the trivial things she's obsessing over—claiming I was keeping secrets—are nonsense. She was always kept in the loop regarding my other relationships, the issues I faced, and all those little details she was always so strangely interested in.

I know that real people stick around. This hit me hard, but maybe it's for the best. It's better to find out who the true friends are and cut ties with toxic connections. As for the people she's been gossiping about me to—she is incredibly venomous when she's annoyed with someone, so I highly doubt she wasn't dragging my name through the mud while she was "peacefully distancing herself"—well, hopefully, they have enough sense and memory to judge me based on how I actually treated THEM, rather than basing their opinion on her biased views.

There's no point in crying or overthinking this. I'm cutting off every information source related to her. I'm going to focus on myself, my hobbies, and my work. Like someone else mentioned, it shouldn't matter if you spend a few hours grabbing coffee with people just to feel better or to get validation from your circle. Whenever I want company, I have my family, and then there are those few real friends and the everyday ones I can go to a concert or head out with. Everything else is just forced, and it's too much mental energy to waste on stupidity when I could just relax and live in the moment. Real people will show up—they have to. And if they don't, I'm smart enough to know there are plenty of people out there who value me and won't walk away the second things get a little complicated.

Talking down to someone like that is pure disrespect. Life is too short to hang out with people who drag out your worst traits just so they can feel superior while leaving you feeling like garbage.

Sometimes being alone is better than dealing with a crowd like that.

Honestly, I think that friend acted that way because she realized there were no boundaries in place, so she just took advantage of the situation. 😁

I agree with the rest of your post. Surround yourself with good people who actually get you. You mentioned having hobbies that make you happy—stick to those and do what fulfills you. That's how you eventually attract new people who are secure enough in themselves that they don't need to feed their egos at your expense. 😉

As for her talking behind your back—don't give it any weight. The people who actually matter know who you are and what you're about. 🙂

Recognizing these issues was a solid first step toward making changes. Take it slow, be patient, and good luck. 😉

goldenmarlin64 said:Hi everyone,

I won't drag this opening post out, so I’ll try to be brief. My entire life, I’ve struggled with my self-image. It stems from a medical condition diagnosed when I was a newborn, which led to five different surgeries between the ages of eight and seventeen. Because of that, I carry plenty of scars that people notice the moment they meet me. For a long time, I acted like it didn't bother me—I was great in school, had plenty of friends, and excelled at everything I put my mind to.

But there was always this wall I started building as a kid after a few uncomfortable encounters. I viewed many of my traits as weaknesses, and I refused to let anyone see me as weak, especially since they already saw me as vulnerable or "different" physically. I had a hard time accepting my own body, which resulted in me being very late to enter sexual relationships (I'm in my mid-twenties now) and never quite managing to sustain a serious romantic relationship; things always seemed to stall out early on. When I was around other women, I often lied about my experiences or withheld details just like most girls do.

In my friendships, I always went the "extra mile"—being the one who accommodates everyone, helps out, lends money, or provides a shoulder to cry on. I was accommodating to a fault, always ready to help, only to realize later that it was just another coping mechanism. It was a fear that if I wasn't perfect, I wouldn't be accepted; because I felt "flawed" in one area, I felt I had to give 150% in others so people wouldn't leave me or make fun of me.

I only became aware of all this this past year. It’s been a lot of tears, sleepless nights, internal battles, and dark thoughts. I’m planning to see a therapist or psychiatrist, which is something I’ve never done before.

So, what's the issue, and why am I posting this? Well, once I realized what was happening and tried to address it, I started opening up to my close female friends about what has been tormenting me. While some reacted beautifully and offered support and conversation, I ran into a few who simply don't get it.

One friend in particular really hurt me. She’s grown cold toward me because she feels like I've been projecting my own dissatisfactions onto our friendship (for example, saying it was fine if she didn't want to grab coffee, but then getting upset later when she actually went and told me she could have called me instead). I apologized for all of it and laid my soul bare, explaining my struggles with self-esteem. I told her that my behavior was a learned response—that I often said "it's fine" because I didn't want to center myself or turn minor things into an issue.

She claims I'm being dishonest, that I'm a fake friend, and that she’s never experienced real emotion from me. We’ve been friends for seven years, and I truly don't believe I've been a bad friend. I was always there to listen, I always wanted to hang out (even though she was often preoccupied with her "better" friends while I was just the person available for emails or checking in when she was impossible to grab for a quick coffee), I was there whenever she needed financial help, I was there to comfort her, I gave her little gifts, passed along clothes I didn't wear, stood up for her, and spoke up when she was in trouble. I feel like I've shown plenty of emotion in this friendship. But she says that isn't true friendship. She’s bothered by the fact that small things might bother me even though I used to say they didn't, and she's upset that I didn't share every single detail about the guys I was seeing in the way she expects.

I apologized for my actions, explained what the problem was and what it still is, and showed her my greatest vulnerability and my genuine desire to change, even though it isn't easy. Her reaction? She basically said our relationship isn't what she thought it was and that she wants to distance herself. She told me I shouldn't have acted that way, that there are people with much bigger problems who aren't like this, that it's my own fault, and that she wishes me luck with future relationships and hopes I don't ruin every connection I have.

Am I the only one who totally misread her, or am I just pouring my heart out to someone who refuses to get it? Should I apologize for how I’ve acted—you know, all those unconscious mistakes I made that ended up hurting me more than anyone else? Do I need to say sorry for being guarded about certain things? For the times I couldn't stand up for myself, saying everything was fine when it clearly wasn't, or even being oblivious to the fact that things were going south?

I've felt like absolute garbage all week since she said all that. It’s always me, the one constantly apologizing. She went on such a tear, throwing all these ugly things at me and dragging up little details I thought we had already moved past. I don't believe in digging up the past like that; either you settle things immediately or you let them go. It feels low. Instead, I feel like she's just writing me off, weaponizing every flaw she can find, even after I tried to show her how much I've been struggling and how shitty I've felt over the last year and a half.

I honestly don't even know what I want right now. Maybe I just need an outside perspective. I don't want to vent to our other friends because this is strictly between the two of us. Is it possible that my past traumas combined with my tendency to shut down are just relationship killers? Are all my friendships actually fake if I haven't always been completely transparent? I spent my whole life being dishonest with myself, and only now am I starting to open up—both to myself and to the people I actually care about.

Look, reading through your whole post, there's one specific part that tells the whole story for you: 🙂

That's how real people act—the ones who actually give a damn about you. You laid your heart on the table and stayed honest. That's progress. In a way, it deepens those friendships. Real friends will encourage that kind of vulnerability and be your backbone.

Maybe we lose people along the way that we thought would be around forever. It's a lesson learned, nothing more. Just experience.

I once heard that being vulnerable with certain people is like casting pearls before swine. They can't grasp the value, let alone appreciate it. On the flip side, someone else will see that pearl and know exactly what it's worth.

I tend to think in metaphors. 😁

To answer your question: No. You definitely don't owe anyone an apology.😉

Richard Wells said:Look, sticking to the truth isn't just an option—it’s the only way. But here’s the kicker: it’s all about how you deliver it. If you want people to actually listen, you’ve got to ditch the judgment and just stick strictly to the facts.

I bolded the part I think is the core issue: the delivery.

People usually get pissed off when they feel like someone is talking down to them. If they sense good intentions, they shouldn't be angry. If they still blow up after asking for the truth, then clearly they can't handle 😁

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I'm pretty sure it's why I've become the black sheep of my family. Everyone acts all sweet to your face, but talks differently behind your back.

I don't tolerate that, and I know how to say so 🙂

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