Posts by frozenmoose93

It’s pretty funny how hypocritical everyone is. You all claim you "don't like judging people," but then in the very same breath, you go ahead and judge them for judging. 😂 😂

electricstag16 said:First, you have to "find" yourself—to become a whole person and actually feel comfortable in your own skin. If you go looking for "completeness" in another person, you’re just chasing a ghost. You'll never find it there.

I’m with you on this. You've gotta build yourself up first. If you don't know who you are or what you actually want out of life—including the kind of partner you need—you're just spinning your wheels. It’s a mistake to go looking for fulfillment in someone else if you haven't even found it within yourself yet.

wearyhawk83 said:Look, I'm not going to get bogged down in the messy details of why they split, but the bottom line is they were a solid match for a decade before it ended.

Based on what you wrote, those kinds of breakups seem unlikely, but honestly, I think that’s actually what happens most often! Someone who puts in the work to truly understand and respect their partner—someone who actually nurtures the relationship—is going to build something high-quality with pretty much anyone. "Compatibility" is this fuzzy concept that helps get a relationship off the ground, but keeping that spark alive and making a connection last requires a whole different set of tools. It isn't about luck or just coasting along; it’s all about pure willpower.

That’s the kicker right there. Why would two people who fit perfectly together suddenly become a total mismatch? 😕 Why would people who are actually perfect for each other ever call it quits?

If you actually put in the work to understand and respect your partner—if you really focus on nurturing that connection—you can build something real with pretty much anyone.

I don't buy it at all. Expecting that from anyone is just totally unrealistic. Those kinds of relationships are built on one person manipulating and controlling the other, which isn't healthy by any stretch of the imagination. Some people are just fundamentally incompatible.
So you think I’m saying some hardcore religious zealot and a die-hard atheist can just have this perfect, amazing relationship? Yeah, I wouldn't go that far. Not happening. 🙂 There’s nothing left to work with here. How are they supposed to build anything meaningful when they don't even see eye to eye on the basics?

Compatibility is a pretty fuzzy concept that basically just gets you through the door. But actually making a relationship last and keeping things fun? That takes an entirely different set of tools.

It’s not blurry at all. It’s only unclear to people who don't get it—the ones who think they can be compatible with everyone. Usually, those are the types who actually believe they can change someone. ☕

Here’s a definition for you:

Compatibility basically means everything just fits. It’s about things being in sync, working together, or just vibing perfectly. Harmony, alignment, whatever you want to call it.
Compatibility basically means things just work together. It’s when two things vibe, fit, or mesh perfectly without any friction. Fun enough, the word actually comes from an old Latin root that meant "suffering together" or having empathy. So, being compatible isn't just about technical stuff fitting—it's kind of like having a shared soul.
According to the American Encyclopedia, being compatible means you actually align with something else. It’s about things or people working together in the same space without constantly clashing or messing each other up.

It isn't about luck or just drifting along. It's about choice.

So, what's your big revelation? I've been saying this from day one. Relationships like that depend on how much people can tolerate each other—or "willpower" (if you want to be dramatic about it) to stay together despite all the friction.
Whoever has the will to make it work, will. Sure, those setups can last 20 or 30 years, but they aren't healthy. They're broken on the inside. Just because a couple stays together forever doesn't mean it's some kind of ideal scenario. People stick around in toxic relationships for a million different reasons, but at the end of the day, it's just a bad partnership.

I get where you're coming from. Yeah, two people with totally opposite personalities can definitely hook up—we've already talked about how common that is. But honestly? It usually doesn't last. Eventually, the clash in vibes, interests, or life goals just tears it apart. Some couples make it a year, others make it ten. It really just comes down to how much bullshit you're willing to put up with.

I think you missed the point of the thread. Nobody’s out here discriminating against people based on who they are. If we did that, we'd be stuck forever. We're talking about finding an "ideal partner," and choleric and phlegmatic were just basic examples.
If we have the right to choose, why wouldn't we go for someone who actually fits?

And let's be real, everyone has a checklist when they're looking for someone, including you. I'm sure of it. 😉
Is having standards considered discrimination now?

Do you think they suddenly became incompatible after ten years, or did they just call it quits despite being a perfect match?
Personally, I feel like after a decade together, partners actually become more compatible, more alike, and more in sync. At the end of the day, human character doesn't just flip-flop; it evolves or levels up over time, whether that’s for better or worse. But I'm convinced that if you pick a good partner from the jump, things trend upward—if you pick a bad one, it's the exact opposite.

Morgan Bishop4 said:Okay, but hold up, those are two completely different things... why would a couple where one person is super chill and the other is constantly high-strung be fighting every single day? And what does that have to do with people being afraid of being alone?! You really can't just lump everything into one big bucket like that...
I don't know what kind of "chill" people you've run into, but that doesn't mean they're the same thing. Just because someone stays calm in situations where everyone else is losing their minds over nothing, doesn't mean they lack character, opinions, or a soul...
And honestly, if you stop stressing over every little thing as you get older, that doesn't make you "spineless," it just makes you a mature adult who isn't going to act like a hormonal teenager screaming and panicking over every minor inconvenience...

Also, just because I said chill personalities and high-strung ones often end up together, it doesn't mean they’re polar opposites in every single way. What does temperament have to do with their politics, or religion, or how they see society, or their actual goals, fears, tastes, or anything else that actually defines who they are?! A person isn't just "chill" or "high-strung" and nothing else... there's way more to it than that...

I don't get what's confusing here. Some people just click and some don't. And yeah, there's a connection! People who are scared of being alone will settle for anyone, even someone they don't actually like, just because they lack the backbone to stand on their own. Those are just desperate, insecure people.

So, you’re still claiming that incompatible people can get along, love each other, and have a happy life?! Honestly, I think you're way off base.

I mean, I don't know what kind of "chill" people you've met, but that's not the point. Just because someone stays calm in most situations and doesn't freak out over every little thing that stresses others out doesn't mean they don't have a personality or opinions. Getting used to things over time doesn't make you "chill," it just makes you an adult who isn't going to act like a hormonal teenager screaming about every tiny drama.

I disagree. All the "chill" people I know are like that.☕ Maybe there are exceptions, but I haven't met them yet.
If someone has an opinion, they usually want to voice it. Chill people generally don't care enough to do that. They're just indifferent to everything. You can't even tell if they like something or hate it.

I'm chill about stuff I don't care about. Like, take politics, for example. I don't have any strong feelings about it, good or bad, because it's just not my thing. But I'm only like that with that one topic. I'm not a "chill person" overall, because I definitely have stances on most other things. 😬

And just because I said chill people and high-strung people go together, it doesn't mean they're opposites in every single way. What does that have to do with their views on politics, religion, society, or their personal desires and fears?! A person isn't just "chill" or "high-strung" and nothing else.

Obviously not. Some people are more chill, some are more high-strung, and some are neither. I was just responding to your theory about opposites attracting. That came from your post where YOU categorized people into chill, high-strung, and dreamers. 😉

Morgan Bishop4 said:Personally, I couldn't really put a number on my own compatibility levels with anyone. I can usually tell if it's a hard "no," or if it's mostly "yes" or "no"... 🤷 though I'd say I'm pretty chill and tend to get along with a huge variety of people, even if they don't necessarily feel the same way about me 😁 but then you run into certain people who are such massive pains in the ass that even if they're technically compatible with someone, they'll find a million tiny little things to nitpick until they just write that person off entirely... :/ and honestly, I feel like certain opposites just balance each other out perfectly, like how a super laid-back person paired with someone who's got a bit of a temper works well. Two totally mellow people might just end up being boring and aimless together, while two high-strung or dominant types would probably just tear each other apart. So that whole idea that you need to be nearly identical to work doesn't really track for me. Same goes for dreamers needing someone to keep them grounded, and vice versa...

You're kind of contradicting yourself here. 😕 First you're grouping everyone together, and now you're telling a totally different story. It doesn't quite add up. 🙂 😛

Morgan Bishop4 said:So, since you've seen plenty of these couples, you've basically decided they all fail?
I see it way differently... that example you gave feels more like those extreme cases where one person is a total zen master and the other is a ticking time bomb. Most people fall somewhere in the middle on that spectrum.
Besides, I haven't actually met two high-strung people who get worked up over the same things. Usually, when I see people like that, they're nitpicking each other over completely different little details and just constantly clashing.
And look, a chill person can still be annoyed by the same things as a high-strung person. Just because someone is easygoing doesn't mean they don't have strong opinions about certain things...

I know. It’s just that they haven't ALL failed *yet*. 🤣 Some are hanging by a thread. To me, nothing is healthy if partners treat each other like garbage behind closed doors while acting like the perfect couple in public. 🙄 Usually, it's some toxic possessiveness keeping them locked together. It's basically people who are terrified of being alone. I've heard this from so many people. Like, when I ask, "Why stay with someone you can't even stand?" the response is always some idiotic, "Well, what am I supposed to do, be alone forever?!" OMFG!!! That's not how normal people think. Period.🙄

Morgan Bishop4 said:So, since you've seen plenty of these couples, you've basically decided they all fail?
I see it way differently... that example you gave feels more like those extreme cases where one person is a total zen master and the other is a ticking time bomb. Most people fall somewhere in the middle on that spectrum.
Besides, I haven't actually met two high-strung people who get worked up over the same things. Usually, when I see people like that, they're nitpicking each other over completely different little details and just constantly clashing.
And look, a chill person can still be annoyed by the same things as a high-strung person. Just because someone is easygoing doesn't mean they don't have strong opinions about certain things...

Every chill person I know has zero backbone. Total pushovers.
There's a difference between being naturally chill and just becoming numb to everything over time. I'm pretty laid back sometimes, but I still have my own opinions.
You started this talking about people with totally different personalities. That's why I'm saying chill types and high-strung types don't mix. Everything else is just nuance. We aren't all identical, obviously, but we tend to be pretty similar. That's where my 70-80% figure comes from.

Morgan Bishop4 said:Personally, I couldn't really put a number on my own compatibility levels with anyone. I can usually tell if it's a hard "no," or if it's mostly "yes" or "no"... 🤷 though I'd say I'm pretty chill and tend to get along with a huge variety of people, even if they don't necessarily feel the same way about me 😁 but then you run into certain people who are such massive pains in the ass that even if they're technically compatible with someone, they'll find a million tiny little things to nitpick until they just write that person off entirely... :/ and honestly, I feel like certain opposites just balance each other out perfectly, like how a super laid-back person paired with someone who's got a bit of a temper works well. Two totally mellow people might just end up being boring and aimless together, while two high-strung or dominant types would probably just tear each other apart. So that whole idea that you need to be nearly identical to work doesn't really track for me. Same goes for dreamers needing someone to keep them grounded, and vice versa...

I couldn't agree more with S. That’s exactly how most people see it, which is why you see those relationships imploding after just a couple of years. It might work for a little while, sure, but long-term? No way. Those kinds of setups are basically doomed from day one.

I'm a big believer in opposites attracting, but similarities? That’s where the real magic happens.

Phlegmatic types and high-strung types just don't mix. Their reactions to the exact same situation are worlds apart, and someone always ends up feeling insulted or slighted. That’s where the fighting starts—because the intense one expects support from their partner, while the chill one honestly couldn't care less. 😁
Two hotheads aren't gonna tear each other apart if they actually click. If they're both pissed off about the same thing, they can just agree on that and team up to take down whoever's bothering them.
Guys like Živac can actually read the room and predict what’s gonna bug their partner before it even happens, so they don't accidentally trip any wires. A total pushover just can't do that because they don't get how a high-strung person's brain works. It goes both ways, too.

Morgan Bishop4 said:Well, obviously you should aim for compatibility, but that’s a far cry from demanding perfection. And besides, how are you even supposed to measure compatibility in percentages?! How do you calculate that someone is exactly 80 percent compatible with you...?? 😕
The truth is, a ton of relationships are built on looks, money, status, or just being able to tolerate someone else's nonsense... but I doubt those types of people will ever truly realize that their connections are hollow. They just fall into these patterns because maybe that's what they're looking for, and they don't know any better. If someone figures it out later in life, hey, better late than never... but you can't exactly convince a shallow person that they're shallow, because their entire worldview is too surface-level to even process it... anyway, I agree that you need to find someone you actually get along with; it's definitely better to be solo than to suffer through someone else's company just for the sake of it...

No need to quote my ENTIRE post if you're just replying right underneath it. 😉
As for the answer—percentages are just a rough, subjective vibe. I mean, you probably get an idea of how much you click with someone based on shared interests, similar views, hobbies, whatever. It's just about how much your personalities align. Don't take it so literal! 😉 Obviously, there isn't some math formula to calculate if two people are a match. 😁

I’m not settling for anything less than a perfect match. I can't stand lukewarm connections, whether we're talking friendship or romance. I’m strictly looking for people who actually click, even if it takes me my whole life to find them.🙂 Better off alone than stuck with someone who just doesn't fit.

Look, I get that 100% compatibility is a myth, but hitting 70-80%? That should be doable. Maybe most people think that’s unrealistic, but honestly, what's more unrealistic to me than seeing couples stay together for 10 years and then just suddenly call it quits?! Like, what were you even doing all that time?! Or how about people jumping straight from one relationship to another without even getting to know the next person first. So many people rush into these things based purely on physical attraction and sex, and once that spark dies down, the whole "relationship" just evaporates. 🙄

If everyone actually went after a high-quality partner, there wouldn't be nearly as many miserable people out there. Everyone talks about "tolerating" each other, but let's be real—that's usually just a fancy word for hypocrisy. If someone isn't right for you, why put up with it?! I have zero interest in wasting my time or my sanity on people I don't vibe with. Character compatibility is the only real foundation for a solid, long-term relationship, and eventually, the love follows. It’s that simple. Too bad so few people seem to get it...

I really think kids are the only ones who are actually happy.
Looking back, I was at my peak when I was little, and honestly, I doubt I’ll ever feel that carefree or fulfilled again. Growing up, getting older, all those heavy responsibilities and just life throwing stuff at you... it takes that away. I haven't met a single adult who's as genuinely happy and worry-free as a kid. 🤷