Andrew Price3 said:Zablua: The past doesn't follow us. We follow it.
It’s worth remembering: whatever we did back then, we did the best we could given our perspective and options at that exact moment. Or, more simply, we acted on what we believed was the most effective way to get what we thought we needed right then.
So, it isn't an error. There is no such thing as an error in isolation.
The only reason guilt exists is because your current consciousness is clashing with how you perceived that action at the time. Of course you feel "guilty"; or more accurately, it’s only natural that you "realize" the weight of that past action... but there's no need for actual guilt.
The purpose of guilt isn't to punish. The purpose of guilt is to teach us how to forgive ourselves. At the time, we simply didn't know better. If we had, we wouldn't have done it. Right?
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Exactly. I’d also add that since we can't change the past, there's zero point in dwelling on it just to beat ourselves up. If we actually practice some self-love and acceptance, we'll realize we made a wrong call based on the best intentions we had at the time. We did what we did because we didn't know any better or couldn't see any other way. You can look at people who have wronged you the same way—they probably just did the best they could with the tools they had in that moment.
I think it’s super important to look back at our slip-ups with a clear head, mostly so we can learn about ourselves and others and avoid hitting the same potholes down the road. But there shouldn't be room for hatred or guilt in that process. Those two feelings just eat away at your soul and poison your mind; they don't do anyone any favors. We have to forgive ourselves and others. It's tough when the stakes are high, but if you think about it logically, if we've already been hurt by those mistakes once, why keep torturing ourselves with guilt and resentment? That pain has already done its damage, so we should just stop the bleeding and try to focus on what's ahead.