8 posts shown.
There is absolutely nothing better in sports than seeing a massive powerhouse get taken down by a debutant. It just goes to show that pedigree doesn't mean a thing once the whistle blows. Does anyone else think these kinds of upsets are actually good for the growth of the game?
lonepuma2 said:Hey, what if you just kind of sabotaged her without her ever catching on that it was actually you?
😁
I mean, you’ve gotta find some way to get back at her.🙂
Hihihi, do you have some juicy suggestion in mind? 😁
To be perfectly honest, I’m just not the type of person who thrives on playing dirty pranks, and I’m quite certain I wouldn't have the heart to pull off anything truly malicious. Besides, descending to that level seems beneath me—it's really the last thing I’d want to do. 🤷
Benjamin Wilson4 said:The best way to get back at a woman like that is through pure, unadulterated positive energy. Seriously, nothing frustrates those types more than seeing you thrive; they practically want to implode. Just walk in every morning with a massive grin, wish her a good morning, ask how she’s feeling, or compliment her sweater. 🙂 Don't let her grumpy little remarks get under your skin. If she starts acting up, just toss out a quick, "Oh, are we in a mood again today? Such a beautiful day outside, though! 😁" Create some actual momentum in the office. Crack a few jokes so even the most high-strung coworkers can't help but laugh. Drive that old lady insane with nothing but positivity!
I almost wish I had someone like that at my office. It would be so much fun to troll her... 😉
Oh, please. I think she'd probably jump down my throat with a dull kitchen knife. Or she'd pay some local thug to corner me in a dark parking garage somewhere. 😁 I'm just zekati... That's an interesting suggestion, though!! She really would be left in total shock. 🤣
Honestly, it seems like every single workplace—regardless of the industry or the office culture—has its own resident toxic, bitter, and completely unstable nightmare 🙂
It’s a depressing reality of the corporate world. But what I truly can't wrap my head around is how people just... let it happen? How do they passively surrender to someone like that? I mean, look at me: I might be a total underdog, but I have enough self-respect to refuse to bow down to a monster like that. Yet, I see so many others—some of them much older than me, even folks just a decade away from retirement—who simply 🤷. It makes you wonder: how much fear does a person have to live under before they lose the courage to even be decent to someone else, just because this person is lurking nearby? It’s absolutely soul-crushing 😢
Look, Mr. Manners, there’s this frustrating reality I’ve been grappling with. It’s not that I went into this job expecting to forge some deep, lifelong bond with everyone in the office—that was never the goal. But honestly? I did hope for a sense of camaraderie. I imagined working with people who were generally friendly and wouldn't just snap at one another the moment things get stressful, and for me...
It’s funny; when I’m home (I’m actually on vacation right now), I can process everything so clearly. I tell myself to stay detached, almost like the part of my brain that cares about the office "vibe" has simply gone numb 😁 And everything feels fine. But then, the moment I step back into that dreary atmosphere... I can't deny that it leaves me feeling somewhat unhappy. Now, don't get me wrong—I’m not looking for a best friend to grab coffee with or someone to vent to about my husband or family drama. In fact, I don't even share those kinds of things with my closest friends. However, I truly believe it would be a blessing to walk into work without feeling that palpable tension hanging in the air...
To be fair, there are some lovely women there who have been kind from day one, and I know they have nothing against me. But there are these five or six people who are heavily influenced by the resident "villain" of the group, and their attitude makes being in the office incredibly difficult.
I know deep down I need to stop taking things so personally. I trust that as time passes, it will get easier because they’ll eventually realize I’m not going anywhere and that sulking won't affect me. But still... it’s not pleasant. Not even a little bit. 😢
Maybe I’m just too naive, or perhaps I’m just stuck in a youthful mindset where I expect people to treat me the way I naturally treat them. When that doesn't happen—which, let’s face it, is most of the time—I end up feeling rejected, misunderstood, and just plain sad.
Of course, I never let anyone see that side of me. At work, I make a conscious effort to remain polite and maintain an assertive presence. I never go out of my way to rub anyone the wrong way by being passive-aggressive (even though I certainly could, since I know exactly which buttons to push to make them change those annoying habits of theirs). I choose not to play those games. Instead, whenever I notice something is genuinely wrong, I address it in a calm, respectful, and composed manner. I hold my head high and I don't shrink away. A few colleagues have actually told me they admire how steady I am (little do they know there’s often total chaos swirling inside my head 😁), and that I don't let fools push me around...
Ugh... it’s just so complicated and utterly draining. Even though the actual tasks of my job are physically easy, the mental toll is absolutely exhausting. 😢
Now, to be fair, there are a handful of strong, level-headed women in the mix—the kind who stood their ground in past disputes and haven't spoken to her since, or if they do, it’s strictly business and incredibly brief. I don't want anyone to think I'm claiming every single person there is a pushover. But we're talking about maybe two or three of them out of a group of over thirty women!
Honestly, I’m just in complete shock because I have never, ever found myself in a situation quite like this before. To be out of the blue—and I mean the absolute clearest, most unexpected blue possible!!—somebody finds my very existence to be an inconvenience. Just my presence is causing them headaches... and all because of this toxic mess at my workplace.
Regarding the idea of reporting her to the CEO, I really don't think it would achieve anything. He is the type of person who works incredibly hard on maintaining an image of being approachable and kind, and while he is genuinely well-meaning, I don't believe he'd actually step in here. Why? Because she is his close friend; they grab coffee together and hang out privately outside of work. Not to mention they are both politically active in the exact same party, and in this country, political loyalty is treated like a sacred bond... So, he would listen to me, give a polite little laugh, say he'll have a word with her... and that would be the end of it. He, like everyone else, is terrified of offending a woman like her—someone who knows no bounds and where you truly never know what she might do next. She’s had physical altercations with staff in the past; some people started drinking heavily just to cope with her, and others practically begged for a transfer to a different branch... It’s nightmare fuel.
I can't even begin to tell you how many clients we serve have complained about her to the boss... Millions of them! And still, nothing happens. The level of nonsense she gets away with wouldn't even fly with Houdini 🙄
And what baffles me more than anything else is how—just HOW—is it possible that everyone is still living under her thumb?!?
I suspect she hates me because, from the moment I arrived, I began dismantling her reign of terror and her Gestapo-style authority. By telling her exactly what I think of her face-to-face, by standing my ground and refusing to let her walk all over me, I’ve fractured the carefully curated image she tries so hard to maintain. Clearly, I've pushed her to her breaking point. But listen, I simply can't act any other way. My own sense of dignity won't allow me to behave like those poor women surrounding her, acting like tiny little pawns she can manipulate at will.
I mean, whenever I walk into their office, the woman working alongside her will barely mutter a "hello" at a whisper... and her eyes immediately dart toward "her," looking completely submissive and cowed... It's horrifying!!! If someone had told me such a thing was possible, there is zero chance I would have believed them!!
As for communicating with her—there is none. We haven't spoken face-to-face in months. None at all. I cut off all communication after she tried (and sometimes succeeded) in making a fool out of me far too many times. If I need to discuss anything regarding work, I coordinate with her colleague instead.
First off, I want to say a huge thank you to anyone kind enough to read this whole thing through.
I’m dealing with a situation that has been weighing heavily on me for the last two years—it’s reached a point where the stress is genuinely starting to bleed into my overall quality of life.
I took a job at a government agency. To give you some context without getting bogged down in the weeds, my day-to-day isn't physically grueling, but when things actually pick up, the responsibilities are significant and quite heavy.
To make a long story short... I have my own office and my own computer, working within a larger team even though everyone else is in a completely different field. I am the only person there with a specialized medical background, and according to the organizational structure, my role is an essential part of this institution. Unfortunately, my colleagues don't see it that way. First off, their main "issue" is that they managed just fine before I arrived—in fact, they think they did "perfectly well" without me. Then there’s the age gap; since I’m relatively young by their standards (despite having nearly three degrees under my belt), they struggle to view me as a figure of oversight, which is fundamentally what my role entails. On top of that, because they work in roles that are incredibly labor-intensive (even if they clock out two hours earlier than my full-time schedule), they view my position as redundant simply because I’m not "busy" in the same physical sense. It is important for me to emphasize that I have immense respect for the work they do; their expertise is vital, and I truly tip my hat to them. But as it turns out, I was clearly naive to think they would extend any of that respect toward me. I didn't earn my credentials without blood, sweat, and tears, and this profession is something I’ve always felt a deep affinity for. Sadly, from them, I get nothing. 🤷 I tend to be very communicative, friendly, and approachable, so perhaps I gave them the wrong impression—that I’m someone they can just walk over whenever they feel like it. I don't know.
In reality, no one says anything to my face. I don't even think they dislike me personally... but...
From my perspective, the core of the problem is one specific individual in the group who is the absolute embodiment of malice. Almost everyone in the office has been burned by her; people are terrified of her, and they practically bow to her every whim or opinion (or at least, they don't dare disagree with how she carries herself or communicates).
I consider myself a soft-hearted, accommodating person, right up until someone pushes me too far. Initially, I went into this with an open mind and no prejudices toward her—despite all the warnings—but she ended up making a fool out of me, quite openly. She turned her back on me, ignoring both my presence and my professionalism. Soon after, out of nowhere, I started hearing from others that she was telling everyone I was just a "clueless kid," that my position was made up, and that I should be ashamed to take a job where I'm essentially being paid to do nothing. She actually told me to my face that I should feel embarrassed walking around the facility while she’s still trying to figure out her own workload, and that I should be helping *her*. And keep in mind, we are in entirely different fields... (if we were to link our jobs, my role would essentially involve overseeing one critical segment of her work).
Technically speaking, my job is physically easy and, in principle, quite relaxed. Theoretically, of course, it can become incredibly stressful. I accepted this position because my previous job was far too demanding and located much too far from where I live. This one is right near my house. Fortunately, because I have a specialized degree, I have a good range of career options, so landing something so practical right in my own city was a win.
But this woman is making my life miserable. It’s not even about professional friction, because we don't interact that much in a work capacity; it’s more about her bitterness. She is determined to ensure I can't "spice things up" with anyone else, doing everything in her power to prevent my coworkers from befriending me or offering me any support. Honestly, if she weren't such a snake, it wouldn't be this bad. I’ve always been well-liked, even popular, in every group I’ve ever joined, and I’ve never been a confrontational person. But this goes beyond all reasonable boundaries. I find it hard to believe that a woman of her age could hate me this much—that my mere existence bothers and embitters her so deeply that she spends every waking moment trying to undermine my standing with the rest of the staff. To make matters worse, she is very close friends with my boss. Perhaps because he is a decent man, he has resisted her attempts to sabotage me so far, even though she is constantly whispering in his ear, suggesting I should get a raise or be assigned a mountain of extra tasks that fall completely outside my scope of work.
The other people in my office can't see what she's planning either, but they are absolutely terrified of her. Honestly, they’d much rather avoid working with me altogether—not because they don't like me, but because they're trying to distance themselves from showing any kind of publicly expressed friendship or warmth toward me, just so she won't turn her sights on them instead...
I made it clear to her that I'm not going to play by her rules like everyone else does, and that I won't be intimidated. I told her exactly what I thought of her behavior right to her face and then walked away (after she had already turned her back on me several times before). That just infuriated her even more, and now I’ve reached a point where I start heading into work with a literal knot in my stomach. It's all because of her—her constant sneering at me, the way she treats me... It's because I see that the people I used to be close with (those who used to jump at every chance to chat with me) now barely dare to say hello when she's around. 😢 There are quite a few women there who are wonderful but very sensitive; they clearly admire that I stood up to her, yet they are terrified of losing their own standing and security, so they pull away. And so... it has become so distressing that I'm actually starting to contemplate resigning. In principle, I don't want to do that—firstly, because I need this job to support my family and my child, and secondly, because a part of me refuses to admit that I was driven out by some frustrated, malicious woman who has absolutely nothing to do with me, neither professionally nor personally.
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
I feel like I don't have many options left... From what I can see, the rule here is either you're on her side (meaning you lose your backbone and act submissive), or you're against her—which means ending up in her crosshairs (and dealing with everything I mentioned above)...🤷
Would you even consider quitting?
Or would you try to ignore everything and act like you couldn't care less about any of it?
My husband tells me I should just ignore her and everything she causes, but sometimes that feels impossible because she makes such a concerted daily effort to ensure I feel her hostility...
Then again, I am a stubborn person at heart. There's a certain defiance in me that refuses to take a subordinate position to her. But still, the stress is becoming overwhelming. I really need an outside perspective and an objective observer. I tried to explain the situation as clearly and realistically as possible (hence why this post is a mile long), and THANK YOU to everyone who made it to the very end!
Thank you in advance for every thought, word, and suggestion. 🙂