Posts by driftingmoose57

Nathan Morris3 said:Haha, we're screwed 😁
I mean, like I said before, PwC actually put the questionnaire together, so I guess it makes sense they'd defend it. It's funny how she claims "the questions make sense," but what she didn't mention—which is more interesting—is that they're all aligned with the law and you basically have to answer them.
The idea that just asking questions makes us look suspicious... well, we already knew that, but someone has to 😁. And honestly, her saying our "excessive curiosity about business policies" is actually an indicator? That seems pretty scandalous to me. The whole notion that questioning the legality of what a bank does implies suspicion... I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I'm not sure where that leads.

She's playing with fire!🙂

goldenranger6 said:The whole "under the protection of the law" thing? It’s dead. These days, banks can peer into just about everything you do, which honestly makes sense from their perspective—they want to know exactly who they’re handing their capital to. On top of that, the IRS has gone all in on tracking every single dollar moving through the system just to try and squeeze out the shadow economy. Of course, they aren't actually targeting the big players where the real shady business happens; it's always the everyday citizens and small business owners getting squeezed instead.

At this point, your only real move is to stick to cash. That's the only way you can be sure you've still got some privacy.

They'll go after the small fry while the high rollers are chilling in Monaco, and wouldn't you know it, Janice is the secretary there too! :klap:

James Rogers53 said:Marital status is optional, education is optional—you can even just put "other" under occupation. You can list whatever phone number you want, too, even if it's fake, if you think that helps your case.
But you do realize that regardless of all that, the bank sees much more personal stuff about you without even asking, right?

I already asked you that. If they know why they're messing with you and asking such stupid questions, then why?

James Rogers53 said:So, you can actually get all this done without ever stepping foot in a bank or dealing with any of that usual headache.

It took me maybe 10 to 15 seconds—depending on whether you count the time spent verifying info with a security token.
And yeah, the hobby field is just an optional detail, as you can see in the screenshot.

What about stuff like marital status, occupation, education, job title, phone number, or hobbies?
Who even cares about that junk!

James Rogers53 said:So, here’s that infamous questionnaire from JPMorgan Chase I had to fill out through their online portal. I didn't even bother going into a branch—not worth the trip.



And then you have someone who’s been posting on this forum for ten years—leaving a massive trail of personal info right here—complaining about privacy risks. It's kind of funny. Any amateur could reconstruct your entire life in a few clicks, let alone the professionals who can dig up your data in seconds if they actually feel like it.
Now someone is actually wasting their time trolling over this data. Honestly, wtf? The bank already sees every single transaction and knows your entire financial situation—it’s not like they don't know what you're up to. So why does it matter if they ask whether you have a Bachelor's or an Associate's degree?

If they already know everything, why bother messing with honest people? 😕What are they even looking for, hobbies? Seriously? I couldn't even fill out that section if I wanted to—no house, no sex, nothing.🙂

Laura Chavez93 said:As long as they don't start interrogating me about my degree, my office extension, how many people live in my house, or whether I hold dual citizenship
I am perfectly content ☕
edit: and until they begin threatening to freeze my accounts and lock up my funds unless I answer every single intrusive question they can dream up 🙂

Look, I've been with Bank of America for over 20 years. They've handled everything from my paychecks to my retirement checks, and honestly, they've never once bothered me with any of this nonsense.👍

placidmaker6 said:And just like that, since the start of the year, checking accounts are wide open for the IRS to peek at. Great.

(via Reddit)

It’s not just checking or savings, either. They can see pretty much every single account out there. The only loophole left is anything opened over in Canada.☕

wiredlynx28 said:Essentially, it’s a customer that the Bank deems eligible based on their steady cash flow or total deposits.

The Federal Reserve actually provides a calculator where you can check if you qualify for that status here:

Keep in mind, though—this specific bank sets the bar much lower than most others when it comes to the actual dollar amounts required.

Look, I already told you... they’re just retirees.

Michael Morgan5 said:What actually qualifies someone as a VIP client according to Chase's criteria?

Retirees!😁 The big shots don't just park their cash here in the States or the European Union. They’ve got money havens scattered all over the globe if they feel like it.☕

Laura Chavez93 said:I was at the local post office earlier today to open a checking account... there were absolutely no questions regarding foreign citizenship, educational background, or family size—nothing at all... they simply asked for my place of birth, scanned my ID, and requested my Social Security number so they could pull up my tax ID through their online system...
I really should have called out those idiots at JPMorgan Chase the moment they started with the nonsense—I regret not being more direct right then and there ☕

You got any USD accounts over at Wells Fargo?

placidmaker6 said:The United States Dollar isn't our local currency here, so transactions end up costing more. We could go down a rabbit hole about the decimals if you really want to talk about it... :-)

It’s just not right, even when you're dealing with United States Dollars. I get transfers hitting my foreign account from places like Poland, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, or Italy, and they send me all the payment confirmations. Every single one of those USD transactions hitting my account shows up as 0 (zero) United States Dollars. Only my bank gets to skim some cash off the top in United States Dollars. It all comes down to the banks and whether the countries they operate in let them run wild or actually keep them on a leash—just look at how things work elsewhere.
Around here, it’s basically a free-for-all for the banks. They just bleed their clients dry while dodging every question you throw at them.

neondriver5 said:Good grief, what an absolute circus over absolutely nothing. 🤦
It’s almost as if they were just sitting there waiting for someone to come along and grill them.

Look, if you just let anyone walk all over you and treat you like garbage whenever they feel like it, then fine, whatever. That's on you.👎

wiredlynx28 said:Like I said.
To those of you arguing otherwise: just wait until they freeze your accounts and cut off access to every single service you use at JPMorgan Chase. Once they terminate your entire relationship with the bank, then feel free to come back and talk. 👍

What kind of "products" does a bank sell? What, screws? Potatoes? Something like that?
I can't wait for them to "close my product."😂

Laura Chavez93 said:Has anyone else dealt with JPMorgan Chase closing their accounts lately? It seems to happen after you refuse to answer questions that have absolutely nothing to do with the actual banking relationship—specifically, if you decline to sign off on blanket authorizations allowing them total autonomy over your personal data...

Man, I refused to fill out one of those forms all the way back in November. My lady told me she’d just make a note that I wasn't signing anything and then they'd close my foreign currency account—which is the only thing I even keep at Bank of America, and honestly, it's the only account that actually works for me. Then a few days later, I get one of those circular letters in the mail just like everyone else on here. Still haven't closed the account, though. Weird, right?

feraljackal2 said:You’ve probably spent more time debating this survey over on Reddit than it would actually take to just fill it out—right?

Look, my time, my money, my business. It ain't yours, and it sure as hell ain't the bank's, you get me?

wiredlynx28 said:In that case, don't bother with a traditional checking account. Just open a virtual one. That way, you skip the trip to the bank and the waiting in line entirely; you handle everything online instead. 👍

Besides, whatever info they are asking for can be submitted via online banking in just a few clicks.

You really think the internet and my time are free for the taking? Every little thing, every single scrap of paper, this bank wants to charge me for it. And what, am I supposed to play the charity case for them? Give me a break!
If they want to talk, they can come to me at the scheduled time. We can chat then, if we even feel like it. It's not like it's a long trip. I'm pretty far from the local JP Morgan Chase28 miles.😁 anyway, stuck out here on an island. Might as well enjoy the views of the Adriatic while I wait.

feraljackal2 said:Is it really such a huge ordeal to lose a few minutes and just fill out that survey—even with all its silly questions? Is it truly easier to spend hours venting and taking it out on a forum, bragging about how much you can lash out at an innocent customer service rep who isn't even allowed to argue back? Then that employee goes home and vents to her husband—who then takes it out on his subordinate at work—and that colleague eventually snaps at a teller at Chase. We end up with this endless cycle of bitter, frustrated Americans making life in this country feel just a little more unbearable every day.

I don't personally believe the bank is going to close a client's account (though, let's face it, anything is possible), but there is a very real chance they'll just label us as idiots. Most idiots in this country won't even care—since they aren't planning on ever using major US banks or doing business with them anyway—because, for them, the real thrill is just being able to trash a service worker.

My "few minutes" actually cost me something. You gotta factor in the drive, sitting there in the DMV line, then heading home. My schedule is $67. Once they actually decide to pay me, maybe then I'll show up at their office to fill out their little questionnaire with all those dumb questions.😁

Nathan Morris3 said:Could you maybe list exactly which questions are on that form? It's pretty important.

Look, there are plenty of answers to what you're asking right here. It's all in that old thread someone posted on this forum ages ago.

Steven Rivera76 said:If they have these scripted replies, why haven't they sent them yet? They're dragging their feet. And let me be clear—we aren't talking about a simple notice to close a checking account. We are talking about a bank threatening to seize assets.

Sent from my iPhone using Twitter

Just sitting here waiting for them to write back and tell me I can't touch my own hundred bucks because I won't fill out some random form that has nothing to do with me. They already have all my info. As for the IRS stuff, honestly, who cares? I'm sitting way under that $50k threshold anyway.😁.

wiredlynx28 said:So much noise and drama over just a few extra questions?
If it’s such a big deal, why haven't you switched banks yet instead of just sitting there waiting?
Look, if this irritates you this much—if you truly believe they're violating your rights or breaking the law—then just close the account and move on, or file a lawsuit. Simple as that.

And like someone else already pointed out, let's look at the big picture regarding banks. They aren't going to lose sleep if a handful of people with average or below-average incomes walk away. Of course, if you were a VIP client with massive assets, you'd be having a completely different conversation. 👍

I already told you
.I'm just waiting for them to block a measly twenty bucks so I can tear them apart. 😁