Posts by Terry Newman7

So where does all this whining lead?

Hopefully straight into some good luck and a damn good time—plus getting to hang out with someone like that.

Before you jump in with your answers, just... think about this for a second—do you actually accept yourself, like, TOTALLY, just the way you are?

If you do—how did you actually pull that off?

If you don't—what’s the hold-up? What's stopping you?

Out of everyone I've ever worked with, I think I only had one coworker who truly accepted herself—or at least, that was the vibe she gave off. She wasn't some bombshell or someone constantly glued to a makeup mirror, but people just gravitated toward her—guys, girls, whoever—because she just "radiated" confidence. She was just a totally cool woman, really easy to get along with too.

I've been thinking about her for years. My best friend was actually the first one to point out how much she embraced herself, but I didn't even think about it at the time—I just knew she was awesome.

She accepted everyone else exactly as they were, including her husband, who—let's be real—had his fair share of wandering eyes. But she just knew it was nothing more than him being restless; it never caused any drama because she had much bigger things to worry about, and she knew deep down it didn't actually mean anything to him.

She accepted me, she accepted others, she accepted herself... we all just felt good when we were around her. She was magnetic.

It got me thinking—because personally, I don't accept myself, and honestly, I never have. I'm pretty sure it definitely stems from my childhood. Maybe her childhood was just... better?

Now that you've read this, take a beat and answer—do you fully accept yourself? And how does that actually show up in your life?

What do you even care? You trying to play doctor now? Give me a break.

There’s one over in Brooklyn—it’s on that street running from the market toward Madison Square Garden, right on the left side at the very beginning.

Plus, there are plenty of seamstresses who'll do it for you—even my beautician does sewing on the side.

Taylor, what you’re saying makes total sense—you’re basically "redirecting" your aggression because you can't let it out where it actually belongs or at the person who deserves it. It happens all the time, like when people snap at their spouse instead of their boss or whatever... 🙂

@one — nah, I don't have any specific obsessions and I'm not some Facebook troll looking for fights online. My issue is more that after dealing with internet nonsense, I end up picking fights in real life 🙂 maybe that's exactly that whole redirected aggression thing. Stupid, aggressive comments just get under my skin, and instead of blowing up online (which I think is a waste of time), I "shift" it and take it out on people in the real world. Yeah, maybe that's it.

At its core, rage is always just suppressed anger—you don't express it when and where you should, so you "redirect" it onto someone else in a different setting.

Did I just answer my own question there? :-)

Alright, can someone break this down for me?

I’ve also noticed that I start feeling physically off whenever I pick up a really well-written sociology book.

Look, maybe I’m just extra sensitive—I listen to people, I actually *feel* what others are going through, and honestly, I consider that a strength since it helps me out in both my life and my career. But man, it's exhausting at the same time. I’m just living, you know? I'd much rather be this way than some emotional wreck or totally disconnected from reality.

The problem is, because of the internet, I can't even read business news without getting worked up. And if it's not the headlines, it's the comments section right below them.

I think I might just go back to reading physical newspapers. It’s more expensive, sure, but it’s probably better for my sanity.

So, how do you deal with it?

@majstore, I think you actually gave me some really solid, straightforward advice—basically, just stay off the internet! You’re totally right, though. I've been spending way too much time online lately, and man, it shows... mostly because I've become such a huge jerk about everything. I feel like I'm constantly looking for a fight, and honestly, it's getting harder to even talk to people in person or just head out for a bit... I guess I finally get how easy it is for people to get hooked and just spiral into a total funk because of the web.

Anyone else dealing with this—I’ve noticed I’m soaking up all this massive amounts of online rage, and then I start feeling super pissed off myself. It usually ends with me snapping at the first person who gives me even the tiniest reason to be annoyed.

Has anyone else felt this way?

I honestly thought internet hate wouldn't get to me. I try so hard to stay out of Facebook arguments or whatever, just to stop triggering that aggression inside me—because that's not who I am, and let's face it, reading hateful posts is totally useless.

I mostly stick to major news sites (not the trashy tabloids, obviously) and I really try to avoid the junk, though I know I can't avoid it all the time.

But when I read a story and check the comments... man, it's usually 90% negativity and people just venting. I rarely even comment myself, but that insane anger still builds up inside me. I realized I've started taking it out on whoever is nearby—like, the other day a woman at Target accidentally shortchanged me by a couple of bucks, and I just lost it, acting like she tried to steal my $3.25. You could tell it was an accident because she looked so confused, it wasn't even intentional, and I know that too.

Or like, I'm waiting at the doctor's office, someone tries to cut the line, and I practically want to rip their head off! And it’s not just being annoyed—I end up being incredibly aggressive and vulgar, like a totally different person.

Anyone noticing this? How did you deal with it? Do you actually believe that online aggression doesn't rub off on you?