Feeling completely empty inside
in Psychology & Therapy ·
Amanda Wood2 said:Thanks for the reply.
Honestly, I'm not even sure if I'm satisfied anymore.
The moment I actually made it in my career—I mean, I became the youngest director at a massive corporation at 27—everything else fell apart. My friends bailed, and so did my boyfriend. I came home with champagne to celebrate, only to find him packing his bags. He's one of those guys who can't handle a woman being more successful than him. Some friends turned jealous, and others just decided we had nothing left to talk about.
As for my parents? There's nothing there. My dad thinks I'm incompetent and stupid, and he makes sure I know it. My mom is just terrified to say anything or stand up to him.
I had big dreams—running ultramarathons, getting a PhD, becoming an executive, buying a house, traveling... I hit most of those marks, or they're right on the horizon. I've even got new goals, but clearly, I haven't figured out how to navigate this world yet.
I end my days crying in a massive silk bed.
When I'm sad, what am I thinking about? Just how much I miss having someone to lean on and hold me.
You basically gave yourself the answer in that last line—you're missing love.