Posts by Scott Roberts3

There are a few people trying to drag me down lately, you know? It’s subtle, almost like they’re mocking me behind my back, just teaming up to target me... In the past, stuff like this would have really gotten to me, but honestly, now it just looks pathetic. My self-confidence is in a different place these days, so I truly couldn't care less what anyone thinks about me. They don't seem to get the hint, though. It’s always some insecure type who needs to belittle someone else just to feel a little bit better about themselves... meanwhile, I just stay calm and act like I don't even notice what's happening 😁, which seems to drive them absolutely crazy. :klap:

I think it’s worth giving it a shot.

But honestly, I haven't even been at odds with them... we just haven't spoken in years. It’s been this way since I was a kid, really. They always seemed to push me to the periphery, kind of sidelining me from everyone else.

Communication is a two-way street, you know? If I'm the only one putting in the work, there's really no point...
I'm not about to go chasing after them, begging or playing nice just to "fix" things.
My mindset is pretty simple: if they don't accept me now, they probably never will.

At the very least, I'll try talking to my parents for now, and I guess that's something... 🙂

I’m not going to just forgive and forget, because honestly, it’s not okay for a ten-year-old to be insulted and belittled like that, regardless of what kind of issues they're dealing with. But that doesn't mean I'm going to be a jerk to them. It's only natural that I'll accept the housing and whatever else they're offering... I'm not out of my mind.

@HaroldPhillips54
Yeah, that all sounds great on paper, but how am I supposed to start any kind of normal conversation when they won't even give me a nod? They just turn their backs and walk right past me like I'm invisible. If I'm the one to say hello first, they'll acknowledge me and then that's it—the conversation is over. It's not quite that simple, otherwise I wouldn't be having this issue in the first place...

That was a really solid post you put together. I didn't take it as an attack at all, and honestly, it’s good to get some insight into how another parent processes things. 🙂

I mean, my parents probably love me... if they didn't, I’d likely be out on the streets by now.

My main issue is just that I let my emotions get the better of me sometimes. If I had just waited a couple of days to cool off, I probably wouldn't even be starting these threads in the first place. I know I come across as pretty negative, but that's just what's on my mind in the moment... once I vent it all out here on the forum, it feels a bit lighter and I can move on.

I definitely haven't been the same person since last year, but there's still a lot of work to do... I'm still young, just trying to figure life out. 🙂

Still, I just don't get why there's such tension with that side of the family. They go out of their way to avoid me... but whatever, I'm done stressing over them. I think I'll just start avoiding them first!

Harold Phillips54 said:I didn't catch any of your posts from last year, so I'm pretty curious.
How did your family's lack of care actually show up during your childhood?
What kind of kid were you? Did you have friends, or were there specific chores your parents expected you to handle—and did you actually do them? I'm also wondering if they treated your siblings differently than they treated you, and where you fell in the birth order. How did you do in school, and how was it navigating social circles back then?

Come on, give me a little bit of your story, from those early days up to now. Did you finish school? What kind of career did you aim for, and what led you to where you are today?

I already covered all that last year, and I don't want to just go in circles click.

Just let me add a few things...
I'm the oldest, and my sister was always the "golden child" while I was always the one "causing trouble"... mostly because they couldn't control me like they could her, since I tend to think for myself. I finished college, though the major doesn't really matter... I can't find a job mainly because I don't have any connections, and honestly, the economy in the US right now is just tough...

Is that one by Susan Forward? I read her stuff in English, and man, it’s a great book.

I saw so much of myself in those pages... what really helped was finally realizing the issue wasn't me. It was them. They were my parents; they were supposed to be my protectors, not the ones making my life miserable.

And regarding the whole forgiveness thing, if I remember correctly, she wrote about how you don't actually *have* to forgive to feel better... like, just forgiving someone doesn't magically fix everything.

As for me, I don't think I'll ever forgive them. They messed up big time, and that's that.🙂

Ethan Campbell said:Maybe you were adopted 😲

Haha, yeah, I used to think that when I was a kid... just hoping my real parents would show up one day to pick me up. 😁

I’m the kind of person who always tries to give people another shot, you know? Always trying to fix things... but no matter how hard I pull, my relationship with my family just stays stuck in the same place. Every time I finally crawl out of a deep depression, feeling good and positive again, I just end up getting let down by everyone... It hits me that nobody actually cares. When I was at my lowest, they weren't there to support me at all. Honestly, it felt like they were intentionally poking at me because they knew I was vulnerable. Like they were almost enjoying seeing me struggle.

I don't get what it is about me that bothers them so much, or why they always look down on me like I'm somehow less than... I finished my degree (unlike my sister, who can't seem to wrap hers up no matter what), and I make enough money online to take care of myself... sure, I haven't landed a traditional 9-to-5 yet, but I haven't given up. I'm still out there sending out applications every single day.

I’m using "they" because I’m talking about the whole group, not just my parents.

The reason I even started this thread—and the reason my blood pressure spiked yesterday—is because they were gossiping. They were complaining about someone not saying hello to them, and I just snapped and said, "If I thought the way you guys do, I’d be angry at the entire family." I can't even remember the exact rest of the conversation, but it ended with them telling me I have no right to complain. Like it's perfectly fine for them to act that way toward me, but if anyone does it to them, it's a huge deal. 😵

But honestly, the silver lining is that as I get older, I find myself caring less and less about the family drama... I'm focusing more on myself now. 🙂

The title isn't great, honestly. I thought about posting this under the 'Toxic Parents' thread, but my issue actually extends to the whole family. Writing this out just helps me vent a little, and I could really use some input from you guys too. 🙂

Last year, I posted about how my parents treated me poorly while I was growing up... the thread was called Enough is enough.

A lot has changed for me over the past year. I’m not dealing with depression or anxiety like I used to. But what still eats at me is how they act toward me—that total lack of respect. They’re so stuck-up that they won't even say hello or look me in the eye... it’s obvious they’re actively avoiding me. Yet, when they’re around others, they play these roles perfectly. Such actors.

My mom spent a good chunk of this year fighting with the rest of the family. She wouldn't leave the house for two months straight. I actually stepped in to help mediate and get everyone back on speaking terms... but the second she made peace with them, her attitude toward me flipped again. It’s like I don't exist to her anymore. Now I just feel like a complete fool for helping someone who couldn't care less about me 👎.

They have zero respect for me. They just expect me to take it all, pretend everything is fine, and stay the "good, obedient kid"... I guess I've somewhat come to terms with the fact that they might never truly accept me, since they haven't for the last 25 years... but I still feel stupid helping them out, even though I can't just sit around doing nothing all day.

Right now, I'm mostly frustrated with my dad. He never taught me anything useful, and he isn't going to start now... meanwhile, the rest of the family just sits there criticizing me for not knowing things. I don't know how much longer I can keep my cool, because this is just ridiculous.

My theory? My old man is just scared of losing his "alpha" status—even though Mom is clearly the one in charge and he isn't—so he tries to keep me looking incompetent to maintain control.

Anyway, that's where things stand right now 🙂
And please, spare me the "get a job and move out" comments. Trust me, I know that would be the best move, but right now, it's just not an option.