Posts by Kenneth Barnes4

Robert Reyes4 said:You don't even put kids that young in a position where they could do that.
You aren't leaving them unsupervised, so the whole experiment is pointless.

Look, a kid's gonna start thinking for themselves by 8 or 9. Like when they walk to school alone or hang out with friends. You can't hover over them until they're 15 just because you think they'll suddenly be better at making decisions then. If you do that, you're just raising an idiot.

Morgan Chase5 said:Children require decisive leadership at home!
They need parents who aren't afraid to draw a firm line in the sand.
I seem to encounter this "negotiation" style of parenting far too often lately, where every little rule becomes a debate.
It’s a slippery slope; if we treat every interaction like a boardroom meeting, kids turn into little accountants and master manipulators before they even hit middle school.
Everything should happen in its own season.
When they are young, they simply need to follow their parents' guidance.
The capacity for making independent choices will develop naturally as they mature.
Nowadays, there's an excessive tendency to prioritize a child's whims over everything else.
What they actually crave is stability, order, and a clear understanding of their role within the family structure.

👍

Everything here is spot on. Sure, a kid can decide which color straw they want at the movies, but they aren't equipped to make massive life decisions because they can't see the big picture yet. That's why adults handle the heavy lifting. You teach a child through small steps. By letting them pick the minor things with zero real consequences, you're training them to make decisions. They’ll apply those same patterns to much bigger things once they grow up.

When you see a kid messing up, but the fallout isn't permanent or dangerous, let them fail. Let them learn from experience so they understand that actions have consequences. For example, if a kid leaves a carton of milk right on the edge of the table, don't nag them five times saying, "The milk is going to fall." Just let it fall. Then, the kid has to clean up the mess. Next time, they'll be more careful because they know they don't want to deal with the cleanup. If you constantly intervene or fix it for them, they learn nothing. If you keep them under a glass dome, deciding everything for them and cleaning up every mistake, they never grasp the actual impact of their actions. They just focus on keeping things smooth in the moment, totally blind to the consequences hitting them later.

The only time you should really discipline a child is when they're doing something that could seriously hurt themselves or someone else. Say a kid decides to try driving the car because they saw Mom doing it. That's a situation where physical discipline is used because explaining the danger is too hard for a kid who thinks it's just a game. They might feel bad or negative about being punished, but after that, you have to explain that what they did was genuinely dangerous. After the discipline, you go back to treating them with the same respect, love, and care as always. That way, the kid doesn't walk away thinking, "I'm being mistreated," but rather, "If my parents generally treat me great and I only get disciplined when I do something dangerous I don't understand, then there must be a good reason."

If a parent is just some brute who doesn't care about a child's emotional state, then yeah, you've got a problem. But like I said before, those kinds of people are going to act however they want and leave lasting scars on a child regardless of whether they use physical punishment or not.

So everyone’s just going to ignore my points? It’s obvious words don't sink in with kids, and they aren't learning much from them. Sure, kids learn by example—that's a fact—but when a parent is trying to warn a kid about actual danger, it doesn't seem to be working the way I think it should. Look at history: parents used to use a belt to discipline their kids, and society was never more dysfunctional than it is today with that gone.

If there's actual understanding and respect for a kid's feelings and needs within the family, then getting a spanking once in a while to teach a lesson isn't a big deal to me.

I’m posting in psychology because I can't stand watching a bunch of moms jump to defend their kids.

Nowadays, modern psychology loves pushing this "no physical punishment" stance. Let's check out this video. Parents keep insisting kids know they shouldn't go with strangers, so why does this even happen?

It's theory. Kids are born with zero knowledge about how the world actually works. When parents say, "there will be bad consequences," the kid CANNOT visualize those consequences because they have no prior experience with them. Basically, parents are just talking to thin air and wasting their breath. They achieve nothing.
Kids are also selfish. So, when we use physical discipline, here’s what happens: when a kid finds themselves in a situation that might lead to bad outcomes, they remember they'll get punished—meaning they'll end up in a bad spot (because of the parent). That’s what they’ve experienced, so that's what they avoid. That's how you control a child to teach them what to avoid and what not to.

Sure, people will cry "violence, boohoo," but the fact is, people who want to beat and abuse their kids are going to do it regardless of what some textbook says is allowed. My support for physical discipline has nothing to do with child abuse; it’s just an easier way to steer them toward a better outcome.

Bottom line: kids decide based on how they feel in the moment. Look at a dog—it's cute, so they want to see it more because it's fun. But the idea that "a stranger might hurt you" is impossible for them to grasp.

Here's another one: You want cookies? Yes. NO, THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES. AGAIN. You want cookies? Yes.

Zero impact and zero understanding without lived experience.

If you're wearing a choker just because it's "fashion"... stop.

It’s just frustrating. People can rarely draw an actual logical conclusion, and when they do, it just exposes how their own heads work. Exhausting.

Then again, sometimes categories actually exist. 😉 But it’s on us to find where we fit. We need to put in the work. If someone tries to pigeonhole you, prove them wrong. Simple as that.

MOSTLY, the whole thing is just draining. Personally, I'd take animals over people any day of the week.🤣