Posts by Henry Sullivan10

Robert Reyes4 said:I covered this at the start of the thread. No, I don't have my own, but I've babysat my sister's kid. Eight hours a day, every single day, for months at a time.
So, what's your take?

Do you actually think it's normal for a kid to just start wrecking an entire apartment?
Obviously, I'm not talking about toddlers.

well, when you're being a total jerk 😛

Robert Reyes4 said:First, you just step in and stop it. You can actually do that because you're the adult.
But if things have already reached the point where a kid is tearing the house apart... you really need to take a long, hard look at why that happened.

Man, you CLEARLY don't have kids. I mean, I'm starting to wonder if you've even seen a child in person before.

Robert Reyes4 said:none, but this is total nonsense. Respecting someone doesn't mean letting them walk all over you.

So, what, I should just politely ask him to stop? While being super respectful of his feelings, obviously?

Robert Reyes4 said:Through integrity.
For instance, my mom couldn't stand lying. I never even dared to tell a lie because I was terrified of disappointing her—or anyone else, really. Looking back, that might be a bit dramatic; sometimes you have to tell a white lie just to get through the day.
And through high expectations.
Growing up, we kept cash in a kitchen drawer. Back in elementary school, if I needed something, they'd just tell me, "Go grab it from the drawer." I could pick up small things without even asking. They never checked up on me or questioned how much I took, but I just knew where the line was. It never crossed my mind to take more than I needed.
They never even asked if I’d done my homework or studied, because it was just assumed I would. And honestly, I did.

Of course, they weren't perfect. I'm only highlighting the parts that actually worked out well. In other areas, things definitely went south.

Exactly. A kid throws a tiny tantrum and starts smashing their room, and you're just supposed to sit there and say, "hey, respect my decision"?

Mark Nelson said:I’ve heard it a million times growing up—you can’t give what you haven't been given.
So, look, if you raise a kid using violence as your main tool instead of actually earning their respect, you can't be surprised when they turn around and use that same aggression on you or everyone else down the road. It's just how it works, I guess. 🤷

Personally, I wouldn't want to deal with that from my own kid, and I definitely wouldn't want it to become their default setting whenever life throws them a curveball. 😳

Political power (authority) comes from the barrel of a gun—Mao Tse Tung

Wait, how's that even possible?

Whoops, my bad! I guess my old man told me he actually regretted having to lay a hand on me 😁

I mean, I honestly took a belt to two or three times, but by then the damage was already done 😁 and even then, it felt totally pointless. I used to be such a good kid, too

Robert Reyes4 said:Everyone turned out fine? I don't know about that.

Kids back then were way wilder and more independent... it wasn't like today where you can't even cross the street alone at twelve... back then, you basically had to learn things the hard way, maybe through some tough love from your parents... crazy, totally brainless stuff, man.

I’m mostly talking about the boys here, my own son and stuff like that. I don't really know how girls are being raised these days, but I definitely know what it looks like when they aren't. The worst thing you can do is raise a little princess. And those princesses? They usually come from homes where the mom is basically just a bystander while the dad calls all the shots 😁

And then, predictably, some total loser picks up that princess

Honestly, I don't think boundaries are even a thing you need to worry about if you started teaching them from day one. A kid just knows what’s okay and what isn’t, you know? It's pretty straightforward. They trust their parents—well, at least until puberty hits, but then everything kind of becomes a total crapshoot anyway.

So, here’s a little tip regarding animals... if they sense something isn't going to fly, they usually have this gut instinct about it. But, I guess if a kid has never been checked once, they might end up being a bit too timid. And when I say "checked," I don't mean anything crazy, just maybe a quick demonstration of some unstoppable physical dominance from where they're standing. Like, a stern look, or crushing a soda can just to show what's up 😁. Or maybe making someone wince just by looking at them. I guess some people don't really learn that stuff until they hit school and someone plays a prank on them, and then they just figure it out on their own
.

Honestly, you see it all the time lately—kids just aren't acting right. You'll have these incredibly spoiled brats who think they can just pick a fight with some random adult they don't even know. From an evolutionary standpoint, I don't even know what to say... it’s kind of like trying to grab a bull by the horns, if you catch my drift. It’s just not normal, I guess.

Justin Fisher said:Beyond just instilling this deep-seated fear of parents right down to the bone, there's another issue at play here that’s honestly way worse, because you can't just hit some magic reset button on it later in life. If you're "explaining" things to kids through physical punishment, they aren't actually developing any healthy, rational understanding of why certain things shouldn't be done; instead, they're just making choices based entirely on being terrified of getting caught or punished.
I feel like the whole goal of being a solid parent is to raise a kid who actually gets the reasoning behind their actions, you know? Because that's really the only way they'll develop actual self-awareness and understand the "why" behind how they carry themselves. Sure, you won't catch them doing the right thing the first time—maybe not even the tenth time—but you just have to keep showing up and, more importantly, being that living example of the behavior you want to see. Eventually, it all starts to sink in.

Look, let me break this down for you... To a little kid, a parent is basically God. And if you're God, you have to be fair. You have to teach them right from wrong, and sometimes that involves a carrot and a stick approach. People who equate physical discipline with straight-up abuse are either acting malicious or were probably abused themselves..

But honestly, the psychological manipulation and mental games are much worse than any physical punishment..

Back in the day, everyone in small towns used to discipline kids like that, and most turned out just fine. I know plenty of people who understood what consequences meant, and sometimes they even decided a certain action wasn't worth the trouble. It's not the end of the world.😁

Crime, punishment, clear conscience.😁