Feeling Trapped in Life
in Psychology & Therapy ·
Joseph Bailey41 said:Sounds like a charming young man. I just hope he finds someone to pull him through this soon. ☕
Are you freaking kidding me right now? 🤣
17 posts shown.
Joseph Bailey41 said:Sounds like a charming young man. I just hope he finds someone to pull him through this soon. ☕
Jason Kim6 said:It isn't that he doesn't want to—I think it's more that he's neurotic. Similar to me, really. Something in his life went wrong—messed everything up. It's all psychological. Why do others manage while he can't? He just feels incapable.
jadeowl2 said:Don't believe it, I'm just gonna go for a walk by myself🤣
Thanks for the good vibes. But seriously, don't give up on yourself. I mean, since you're already here...
jadeowl2 said:Carol Turner3, honestly, reading this feels like looking in a mirror... maybe not at 26, but I’m definitely in that same headspace somewhere down the line.
To be real, I spent most of my youth just totally lost, and things got even more intense once I finally finished college. I always had this massive issue with authority and rules, and the thought of being stuck in some soul-crushing corporate grind, dragging myself out of bed every single morning... man, that terrified me. (I mean, I was always a hard worker, but strictly on my own terms, you know?) I hated the idea of everyone forcing me to "grow up," but mostly, I just felt pathetic because I had zero clue what I actually wanted. Nothing made sense. I had zero motivation for anything, and honestly, neither good nor bad relationships helped fix that void.
I struggled with suicidal thoughts quite a bit—not just during that specific window, either—and it wasn't until much later that I realized I’d probably been dealing with some form of depression or maybe even burnout for a long damn time.
I eventually pulled myself together, though if I’m being totally honest, I don’t even know how or what the tipping point was that dragged me out of the gutter. It wasn't some overnight transformation; it was this long, grueling process over years.
In the beginning, I think autogenic training actually helped me find some footing. In the years following that, life hit me with two massive setbacks (which I bear some responsibility for, which only made the healing process way more brutal), and God, I suffered through so much because of my own perfectionism and negativity, both in my career and just living my life. Looking back now, it feels like those hits forced all these deep-seated issues to the surface—things I absolutely had to deal with, things I wouldn't have been able to handle before.
Then, almost by total accident, I started getting into fitness, and I really think that played a huge role. Physical activity just resets your brain and brings everything back into balance. Plus, I was living in such a beautiful part of the country, and since I've always been an outdoorsy person who needs fresh air, that meant the world to me.
I’m happy now. Objectively speaking, my situation isn't perfect, and by certain societal standards, it might look way worse than it did ten years ago. But I feel good. I get excited, I laugh, I get pissed off, I cry, I dance. I don't spend all my energy obsessing over the past or worrying about the future anymore. I accept things... or at least, I’m doing my absolute best to just embrace life as it comes.
Just take small steps. Go for a walk, move your body (healthy body, healthy mind, or at least there's a better shot at it), apply for a job that actually sounds cool to you, anywhere in the world, even if it’s not what you studied. Try something like Workaway, or go volunteer somewhere. I don't care what your interests are or what your major was, it doesn't even matter. Just lower your expectations and just *start* somewhere. Mess up. Laugh it off and keep moving. Good luck!
Megan Patel69 said:So what? Just like everyone else, you stumble, you get back up, and you keep moving. At least you gain some experience that makes you a bit sharper or wiser. Or you could just quit everything because you aren't feeling it and claim there's no point, and then end up begging on a street corner. Maybe that would give you some inspiration to change things. Honestly, just be grateful. Watch a few documentaries about poverty in developing nations and see how people struggle just to survive; they can still find happiness with almost nothing. If your expectations are too high, you're just going to stay disappointed. Anyway, I think you should probably see a psychiatrist, like a few people have already suggested.
Megan Patel69 said:If you finished a few years of college, you probably have a sense of what it takes to pass a final exam. Life is pretty much the same way. Maybe try writing down all the advice you've been given—because some of it is actually useful—and build a step-by-step plan to tackle things gradually. Once you see those small changes starting to happen because of your own effort, I guess you'll find the motivation to keep going. If you just brush it all off and make excuses, you could spend your whole life complaining. It’s really up to you.
| Life works the exact same way. What if you just sat down and wrote out every single piece of advice you've ever received—because some of it is actually gold—and then built a step-by-step roadmap to slowly start changing things up? Once you start seeing those little wins happen because of your own hard work, that's when the real motivation kicks in... If you just toss it all aside and come up with another excuse, well, you can spend your whole life complaining, I guess. It's all on you... |
Charles Wright said:Depression, social anxiety, obsessive tendencies... there are plenty of symptoms out there, and honestly, it isn't as rare as you might think. I guess it’s really important to reach out for help and talk to someone about the best way to start moving forward. Maybe some medication could help ease things a bit, too, but with the way you're thinking about it, it feels like there's no other real option than seeking professional advice. Otherwise, there’s a risk of just spinning your wheels in that same old loop forever.
northerncobra27 said:You’re actually spot on regarding my opinion—it isn't going to budge. You read the situation perfectly, though, since it wasn't really my intention to get into a deep debate here, especially knowing how fixed your stance is. To be honest, I was more curious to see how you’d react to the specific approach suggested by the other Mao.😁 So, you aren't stupid, which is a decent starting point at least.
The reason I phrased things that way... well, I still remember your last thread where you quite clearly stated that you weren't looking for constructive input, so I decided to just stay out of it entirely. There were plenty of helpful suggestions offered back then, anyway. And what ended up happening? After a while—I can't quite remember if it was a few months or maybe even a year—here you are again, facing the exact same hurdles and airing the exact same grievances.
If your ultimate goal is just to wander through these forums fishing for sympathy or a pat on the head, well, you're doing a great job, so keep at it if that's what makes you happy. There will always be someone willing to play along with that need for validation. But if you actually want to move the needle in your life, you've already been given more than enough advice; you might just need to step away from the screen and focus on your actual day-to-day reality. Then again, people have already told you that too, so... o&o 👋
Sam Wright21 said:I understand completely, and I am so incredibly sorry.😢
Please, just don't take your own life. I'm not a religious person, but I feel like we just have to endure this until the end.
All in all, I think you're a good person, just overly sensitive.
Any advice? For instance, having a pet, maybe a small dog or a cat, can help. And gardening—planting flowers or vegetables—can provide a sense of purpose.
I know how cliché and pathetic those suggestions sound, but I deal with similar struggles myself, and these little things are what keep me from total despair.
Tyler Cruz32 said:You think you know yourself, but you are only 26. As the years pass, you will realize that you change, and many things that seem impossible right now will not only become achievable, but you will find it almost laughable how much of a monster you made them out to be.
Your fear lacks any rational basis. It is entirely internal. Ask yourself: What is the absolute worst-case scenario if I do this? Once you face that worst-case outcome and realize that the world keeps turning regardless, you will understand that fear is merely an anchor without any real foundation.
If you signed up for those two more years, then complete them.
You don't need to be a party animal; surely you have at least one friend. Reach out to them, go somewhere together—times are better now. Go outdoors, take a walk, try cycling or running...
You claim nothing interests or motivates you, but I suspect that isn't true. We all enjoy certain activities while finding others repulsive. Find whatever brings you a modicum of joy and try to do at least a little bit of it every day. It will likely improve your outlook.
There is no such thing as being late to start life; you are 26, not 56.
You don't need to have everything figured out immediately; you can figure it out over time. Who is actually born knowing exactly what they want to do? People evolve throughout their entire lives.
A "normal life" is a subjective term. Anything can be a normal life.
Given your current situation, I suggest looking for seasonal work in an area with plenty of young people and a good social atmosphere. That way, you can combine utility with enjoyment—earn some money, meet new people, and spend the summer productively. Check the Facebook groups for "JOBS WANTED/JOBS OFFERED (COASTAL REGION)." There is plenty of demand there. I know there are other groups for the Atlantic Ocean region as well. I would recommend Springfield.
| You say nothing interests you or motivates you, but I really don't think that's true... We all have things we love doing and other things we absolutely hate. Just try to find what brings you joy, what makes you happy, and then just try to do at least a little bit of that every single day... you'll start feeling a whole lot better... |
| Man, stop talking about life being "late" or "starting late," you're 26, not 56... You don't even need to have everything mapped out right away, you can figure it out as you go... I mean, who is actually born knowing exactly what they want to do? People evolve throughout their entire lives... A "normal life" is such a broad term anyway, anything can be a normal life... So, if things are looking like this, I'd suggest trying to hunt down a seasonal job in a place where there are plenty of other young people and a solid crew both at work and in town... that way you can kill two birds with one stone: earn some cash, meet new people, hang out, and have an awesome summer... Check out some Facebook groups like "JOBS WANTED / JOBS OFFERED (FLORIDA)." There's tons of activity there. I'm sure there are other groups for the Atlantic Ocean coast area too, I know of this specific one. I'd recommend checking out Springfield... |
northerncobra27 said:There aren't any shackles holding you back here, other than your own lack of initiative and a certain streak of laziness. Where exactly do you think you'd expand to? If someone were to hand you a cushy, high-paying office job that didn't actually require much effort, would you take it? Well, look, to get a gig like that, you usually need some heavy-duty connections within a major government agency or a massive corporation, and it's pretty obvious you don't have those, sorry.
The environment around you? You finished some college degree—or at least got halfway there if you could have managed it. And you actually have the nerve to claim you have absolutely zero support from those closest to you? I mean, whose food are you eating right now, where are you living, who’s covering the utilities, and are you walking around without shoes on your feet? That is support. At 26 years old, demanding more than that instead of actually putting in the work is—well, it's just disrespectful.
Employers? Sure, they don't want to pay someone who clearly doesn't want to be there. You have a right to feel that way, go ahead and feel it. But maybe try changing your attitude.
The average salary? Honestly, you aren't the average. You're talking about jobs that require zero qualifications, yet you expect an average salary because you technically attended some college? Though, let's be real, you wouldn't even do those jobs because they'd be "too hard." Then again, you wouldn't do the other jobs either, because even there, you'd have to put in some effort—even if it was just using different parts of your body.
People who actually make it in life generally don't sit around waiting for someone to hand them an opportunity on a silver platter; they build their own opportunities. It's the exact same thing with luck.
Yes, there is a tiny, microscopic percentage of people who are born with a silver spoon in their mouths and live a completely different reality from day one. You aren't one of them, so grow up and come to terms with that.
Bungee jumping? You'd jump, right, just like that? If someone walked up to you with a Bungee jumping setup and paid for every single expense, I bet you'd still find some excuse not to do it.
Megan Patel69 said:I guess you might be overthinking things, thinking one specific job is your only ticket to stability or wealth. If you view money as just a necessary evil for now—rather than waiting around for some grand opportunity that might never come—you can actually start living again instead of putting your life on hold. Donna White50 actually made a good point about this earlier. You aren't falling behind. You can find time for yourself and explore what you actually enjoy if you just rearrange your priorities. Life’s best parts are usually the small, free things right in front of us. There is plenty of value inside you, too; maybe you just haven't looked closely enough yet. Just keep searching.
darksurfer4 said:As per usual, an excellent post.👍
That thing you called "separation" or "life adjustment"—for me, that hit hard right after finishing my degree back in the late 90s, during the era of the hardline Republican Party leadership; finding work back then was a genuine nightmare. No offense intended, but if time travel were real and I could jump back to 1998 or maybe 2001, I bet none of us would be complaining about anything anymore after returning to 2018.🍿
I was profoundly depressed by unemployment; I mean, I literally didn't have enough cash to buy a burger as a grown man. If I had actually had $6.75 I would have been constantly stressing over how to spend it, imagine $6.75🤦. I've always struggled with low self-esteem, and in my early twenties, I truly hit rock bottom. Every single morning I'd wake up wondering what on earth I was going to do with myself—just an indescribable sense of emptiness and boredom. At least we have the internet today🙄. I was convinced I was incompetent, and since I'm also a bit clumsy, I convinced myself I was just stupid and useless too. Eventually, I pulled myself together and went back to a psychologist I'd seen when I was a kid. We found our first job, then the second, then the third, though there were times I was unemployed and relying on benefits. All in all, the longer you stay in that state, the harder it becomes to claw your way out. Nothing is easy, but you have to try. And as I said, despite the massive gloom and overwhelming pessimism, things are arguably better and easier today; it's easier to find work, and the terror used to squeeze workers has lessened because employers are terrified everyone will just move across the border. Granted, finding a *good* job still isn't easy, but damn, being broke is much harder.
As per usual, the Flying One comes up with these wild, one-of-a-kind theories.😁👍
So, let's weigh the options here: Bungee jumping versus sitting in a psychiatrist's office. On one hand, you get this incredible surge of adrenaline, see brand-new sights, and meet new people. On the other hand, you sit in a waiting room surrounded by miserable faces, only to walk in and spend maybe ten measly minutes answering questions before they hand you some pills and tell you to come back next month for a follow-up check-in?
It’s absolutely Bungee jumping for me.👍
Donna White50 said:I think you're totally missing the point here.
Basically, you're dreaming of landing this perfect, high-paying dream job right after graduation...
But that's just not how it works, especially in America where there's such a massive gap between what people study and what the job market actually needs. Everyone wants to major in business or management—just caricaturing here—and expect a cushy corporate gig or a steady government job. The reality is that most people are out there grinding, fighting tooth and nail just to find something decent. You aren't in that lucky position yet, and if you just sit around waiting for your big break, you'll be waiting forever. You'll just end up frustrated, burnt out, depressed, and honestly, you'll lose your drive and your youth while waiting for a life that looks good on paper...
But if you actually get out there and start from the bottom, you'll learn so much more. You'll see how the system really runs, meet the right people, and those connections will open doors to much better opportunities later. It's actually pretty fulfilling once you're in it, and you'll feel way more motivated to move up... plus, any employer will give you a shot once they see a resume that isn't empty. More than that, you'll realize life isn't some fairytale about getting a dream job the second you get your diploma—it's the real world, and you've gotta fight for yourself every single day.
Megan Patel69 said:What kind of worries are we talking about here? If you could be anything else, what would it be? You mentioned not having enough money for travel or hanging out, so are those your only dreams?
Maybe try being a bit more modest. You don't actually need money to spend time with friends.
If you truly can't find joy in anything, it might be worth seeing a therapist just to get some momentum and stop getting stuck in your own head focusing on the negatives. Don't give up on finding things you love or figuring yourself out. There's got to be something out there.
Donna White50 said:Look, I'm an employer, and from where I'm standing, if you don't have any work experience, you're basically starting from zero.
So, just find an opportunity anywhere. Put in three months, maybe six, then jump to a better gig and move up from there. That's how you build yourself up and figure out what you're actually capable of. Everyone starts somewhere—you just have to take the leap. I used to be mixing mortar for $1333 and I was honestly pretty happy doing that...
darksurfer4 said:Honestly, once you finally wrap up that undergraduate degree—or whatever they’re calling it these days—you might find it’s actually worth less than a high school diploma. It sounds cynical, I know, but look at the reality of the job market. On one hand, if you're looking at those high-demand sectors where most employers don't even bother asking for a college degree, you're stuck in a weird limbo; they see these three-year bachelor's holders as overqualified or just acting like "know-it-alls" who aren't willing to do the actual work required. On the other hand, if you're aiming for those prestigious careers that strictly demand higher education, that same three-year degree often leaves you woefully underqualified. Employers in those fields have the luxury of being incredibly picky because there are so few positions out there that actually require anything beyond a basic high school education.
Joseph Bailey41 said:It isn't really your circumstances holding you back; it's the fear itself. You have to face it head-on by intentionally doing the things that scare you. This doesn't just apply to job hunting—it applies to anything you can think of. For instance, maybe go out and try bungee jumping or something similar. There’s nothing quite like an adrenaline rush to help shake off that sense of hopelessness and lack of motivation.
Donna White50 said:Retail, warehouse work, stocking shelves, kitchen prep... you could find a job in any of those places if you were a stray cat, let alone a person with an education and healthy hands and feet...
Wages have to go up eventually—they have to, since nobody wants to work anymore. And honestly, don't let that college degree trap you when you're looking for work. A lot of times, people realize that what they spent years studying doesn't actually pay the bills and has zero future in it...
Tyler Cruz32 said:Wait, did you actually graduate or not? I couldn't tell from what you wrote.
Anyway, if you haven't finished your degree yet, my advice would be to just own that and focus entirely on school instead of exhausting yourself looking for jobs or worrying about whether you're a good worker. It isn't as if everyone currently employed is some top-tier employee or perfectly suited for their role. Your anxiety over that seems completely unnecessary.
Regarding what you said about not knowing what you want to be—it doesn't matter. You clearly enrolled in your current major for a reason, so just finish it. Once that's done, you'll have plenty of time to figure out if there's something else you're interested in pursuing. These days, there is an endless array of courses, certification programs, and trade schools available.
As for this idea that you are "shackled"... it might feel that way right now, but as you get older, you'll realize that nobody can force you into chains unless you personally agree to let them. That choice is entirely yours.
You can always influence your social life, and if you want to improve things there... then just go for it! I honestly don't see where the struggle lies.
In short, you are only 26 years old and you are being far too rigid about everything. Life doesn't work that way. Everything is fluid, and everything changes. There really is no need to get worked up. I suspect you are viewing the situation as much worse than it actually is.
That part about feeling trapped... maybe it feels that way right now, but as you get older, you'll realize that nobody can actually force you into chains or keep you held down UNLESS YOU LET THEM. The choice is ultimately yours to make...
You can always shake things up when it comes to your social life if that's something you want to fix... just go for it! I don't see where the struggle is there...
Basically, you're only 26 and you're being way too rigid about everything. Life doesn't work like that. Everything is fluid, things change constantly, and there's really no reason to get worked up. I think you're seeing the situation as much worse than it actually is...
Donna White50 said:You're spiraling into overthinking, which is a fast track to depression. You feel this way because you're at a major crossroads in life—it's that identity crisis you hit when you're trying to transition into adulthood and independence. People who don't finish college usually hit this in their late teens, and those who do go through it right after graduation. It's all those questions: Where am I going? What am I doing? How will I survive? Can I actually do this? Why can't I? Why does nobody get me? Does life even matter? Why am I here? It's a lot...
It'll pass once you find some kind of work and start taking care of yourself. Seriously, any job will do. If it isn't in your field, fine—just get in there. Everywhere is short-staffed right now, so you could grab a seasonal gig just to break out of this dark hole. Just something to help you fight back and prove to yourself that you *can* do it, even if it feels impossible. Once you're busy with that, you'll start dealing with actual, concrete things instead of these endless, useless thoughts and fears that lead nowhere...😉
Now, just go on Indeed or something and start applying for whatever you can handle...😉