Posts by Scott Cox56

Anthony Nguyen81 said:Man, I guess you really can be caught off guard by certain things or people sometimes, it’s just one of those things, isn't it? 👎

That is so true, honestly, it's kind of like when I get totally blindsided seeing the biggest troll on the site start a whole thread just to report everyone else for trolling! 😁

Don't worry, I'll stop now. Bye! 🙂

I'm really just a random passerby who doesn't actually know anyone mentioned here, but I just felt like saying that reading through NASA didn't make much sense to me at all because there's such an overwhelming amount of trolling from Wikipedia and Pantera users scattered across every single thread.
I really hope they don't end up ruining the vibe on the other subforums too.

(I realize this might go against the rules, so please feel free to give me a ban if you need to, but I just couldn't help myself 😁 )

Way to go! 👍 It’s one thing when you’re dealing with those little little ones, but these wild ones... they're a whole different story.

I mean, I guess everything just comes down to how you're handling things with such a tight schedule. 🤣 😁

Ashley Bailey75 said:Based on that theory, at what age does hitting a kid on the butt or flicking their fingers actually start working?

Because mine don't get anything—they’re basically just 2 and 5 pounds of pure chaos right now. I could literally smack them 300 times a day and they’d still just keep charging at the outlets, the windows, or their own noses. Honestly, they just laugh in my face while they're tossing a hair dryer into a seashell or kicking things across the floor. Judging by their reaction, they've already got enough drama going on; just moving them away from the "crime scene" is enough work. I don't think a slap on the butt would change a damn thing. Realistically, they wouldn't even feel it through a diaper unless I kicked them hard enough to send them flying a yard away—hahaha, sorry, my dark humor is showing. Just kidding, but seriously, physical punishment makes zero sense to me.

With the older one, there’s a tiny bit of progress—that constant loop of "no, no, can't do that, that's dangerous." There really comes a moment where he realizes I’m being consistent for once and that things aren't going to go his way. I can be lenient with some stuff—sometimes I'll let him scream his head off before I give in—but eventually, being persistent helps knock some sense into him, so I'm staying optimistic about the future. He also picks up on my tone when I decide I'm not going to dress him too fast or argue with him. Most days are still a tug-of-war, though—he's still little. But I guarantee you, no amount of hitting is going to teach him anything. To actually work, it would have to hurt, and if it hurts that much, it's just causing internal damage. To him, a swat on the butt means nothing; he’ll keep doing whatever he wants until I physically stop him, because his fixations are stronger than anything else. Well, except maybe my 110 lbs of pure fury, muahaha.

Yeah, I guess hitting someone through a diaper would be pretty ineffective. It makes me wonder if people actually end up hitting their own kids directly, or maybe just really hard over the diaper so it actually registers, or perhaps they just target other parts of the body instead. I don't know, it all feels a bit mysterious to me—this whole idea of striking your own children—and even the theory that it works instantly as an effective fix (haha!) compared to just talking or trying harder. But I suppose we're getting deep into parenting styles now, and I'd rather not get bogged down in those little tricks. 🙂 ajmo o batina Radja.

Maybe some of the tough guys will chime in soon.

Oh, you don't necessarily have to see it right away, genius! It’ll just happen again! I mean, that’s kind of the whole point, isn't it?

All those saints 😢
Even my keyboard seems to have figured it out by now.

Kenneth Barnes4 said:Good grief... there's nothing to this window...

Exactly. When you see him trying to climb out a window or over a balcony, you tell him it's dangerous. You say NO, and maybe give him a little smack on the butt.

The window doesn't smell like anything....

As far as I'm concerned, we can kljucati this thread. PLEASE. 😬

I guess I'm just glad you've finally stopped pretending this was some big negotiation or an attempt at explaining things. Not just jumping straight to the physical part! I suppose that's just how they raised you, right? 👍

Feel free to keep kljucati if you want. Honestly, there's been enough embarrassment regarding logic and opinions already.

Kenneth Barnes4 said:It's all about what a kid grows up around. Cleaning supplies don't smell like food. A kid isn't going to shove crap in their mouth. Why? Because it doesn't smell right.

My brother tried jumping from the garage to a tree when he was little, fell, and broke his arm. 😬

I answered questions while they actually made sense. I'm done repeating myself. Not worth the effort anymore.

Windows don't really have a scent, and I feel like I've often come across kids who probably should have been kept away from the window or at least prevented from stacking stuff up to climb on it just to get a better view. They don't quite grasp that while they're "just looking," they could accidentally fall. I can still vividly remember my own sister's little adventures near the window when we lived on the fifth floor.

Not that it matters much. I'm just saying.
It was one of those things we couldn't quite wrap our heads around regarding why it was so dangerous, but we eventually figured it out, despite how much people push the idea that the average kid is basically unteachable unless you use physical discipline.

@Kenneth Barnes4 - It’s honestly pretty strange how you were always so eager to lecture us regardless of whether we agreed with you, yet somehow you just decided to walk away right when things started getting a little uncomfortable and the tough questions popped up. Hmm.

Life really is just full of these bizarre little coincidences, isn't it? 🕺

Scott Cox56 said:@Kenneth Barnes4 - Are you seriously suggesting we should try to explain things to a kid beforehand while adding a nice little slap to ensure they don't wander into traffic? Or maybe wait until after the police return their child? Sorry, but I’m honestly laughing while typing this because I can’t imagine you’re being serious.
If the whole idea is that 'bad actions lead to bad consequences' and the consequence is just a smack, then that child isn't going to learn anything about why the action was wrong in the first place. A kid who learns not to run toward cars just because they'll get hit doesn't actually understand anything about car safety; they just learn to be afraid of getting slapped. It feels like such a way to stunt a child's development. And honestly, I won't even get into how humiliating a physical strike can be; I'm just looking at the philosophy behind that kind of parenting.

We've only seen one specific example from a video here with certain people involved. It would be pretty ridiculous to take those conclusions and apply them to all of life as a universal rule, especially when it means ignoring actual scientific progress. I have plenty of examples from my own childhood that suggest the exact opposite. I think a capable parent—provided they aren't completely out of their mind—can explain perfectly well why something is right or wrong, and kids eventually figure out what 'harmless hitting' really means as they grow up. I know I did; I was a calm, bright kid, and I interpreted it as 'that thing you do to others when you've run out of options and can't explain yourself any other way.' So, naturally, that's what I ended up doing to other kids.
I was a good, quiet, loved kid from a great family, yet I was basically conditioned to fight only when I was forced to defend myself (never to strike first). All of that didn't matter because what my parents taught me through their actions was something entirely different; everything else was just empty words.

You haven't answered a single one of the questions posed by Carl Kelly2, so why is that?
All of these are high-stakes, dangerous situations, not trivial ones. How exactly did you learn not to sit on a windowsill?
Judging by the video, children are mostly quite stubborn little beings to whom you can barely explain anything, so I’m really curious to hear some of the questions from our colleague or even my own?

electricnomad8 said:I have a question regarding the second part of this thread's title. I’m increasingly finding myself witnessing children screaming for absolutely no reason. Is it a parenting issue? I recently read about a restaurant owner in Australia who actually boosted their revenue by banning parents with screaming kids. It sounds crazy, but it works. Kids just didn't scream like this back in the day. That used to be a core part of how we were raised—learning not to disturb others. Is this just a "trend" now? Is it the influence of movies where kids are constantly screaming too? Or are these children simply being neglected and frustrated without anyone noticing?

It seems pretty likely, honestly.
I guess it’s just way easier for parents to either 1) hand them a smartphone and just tune them out, or 2) resort to physical punishment instead of actually putting in the extra work required for real parenting.
And then we end up reading all these other threads about people who have become subtly toxic—you know, those folks who lack any self-esteem so you can basically walk all over them once their spirit is broken, or stories about actual abusers. If you go the route of being too soft, you might risk raising someone who lacks confidence, but if you go the "wild" route, you're steering them toward becoming abusers themselves. It’s basically the archetypes of the writers and main characters we see populating these forums. Personally, I wouldn't mess around with corporal punishment because of that risk.
Besides, I probably won't be around to witness the long-term consequences that kind of discipline leaves on a child; it’ll more likely be their future partner who sees the fallout.

I mean, what are we even talking about here? Scientists are discovering such fascinating things about the brain every single day, and I really think it matters—even down to the little bedtime stories you read to them, how you read them, and whether you read to them at all. Every tiny detail during those early years shapes their emotional intelligence, which eventually helps them navigate life without all that unnecessary chaos.

@Donna White50 - children don't exactly perceive being hit as something "pleasant or natural." I guess that pretty much contradicts your whole philosophy on why kids should be disciplined physically. By your own logic, they would have to accept it as something "ugly and unnatural" just to learn that's what happens when they mess up.
Don't you see that you don't even quite grasp what I'm trying to promote? So, why jump into a debate with people who have made this field their life's calling and have discovered just how harmful corporal punishment can be? That was a rhetorical question, so please, don't bother answering.

@rd - I think you might have missed a bit of what I was saying, so I’ll just quote the specific part where I mention how some people seem to think that if you aren't being physically harsh with a child, you're essentially being way too soft. That isn't the case at all, and it shouldn't be seen that way. Look here:

Scott Cox56 said:I guess this whole thread is honestly just kind of hilarious when you take into account the upbringing aspect mentioned in that very first post!
I guess I'm just wondering what the actual point is here? Is it supposed to be about letting a kid get hit just so they can learn a hard lesson about, I don't know, getting into a car with a stranger or whatever else might happen? Maybe it's meant to show how bad things turn out when you don't teach them early, but I suppose I'm just a bit confused about the whole logic behind it!
I guess if that’s really how everything ends up and that's the core parenting philosophy being used, then it seems just as misguided as trying to teach kids how to avoid doing evil based strictly on Christian doctrine, maybe?
I guess I feel like if the main lesson a kid walks away with is "don't talk to strangers just so you don't get hit," then we haven't really taught them much at all, you know? To me, the whole point is that you don't go off with a stranger because it’s fundamentally the wrong thing to do, not simply because you're afraid of getting hurt. It reminds me a bit of how people view faith sometimes; I mean, you shouldn't do something bad just because you're scared of facing eternal suffering in hell, though I suppose some might argue there's always that chance of slipping back onto the wrong path even after seeking forgiveness! 😁 I don't want to go too far down the rabbit hole of how illogical or even harmful certain religious teachings can be, because I really don't want to get carried away there, but I guess the real issue we should probably focus on is just how illogical and truly damaging it is to hit children.

I guess the absolute silliest argument that keeps popping up around here is this idea that if you aren't being physically aggressive with kids, then you're basically just being way too soft and letting them get away with everything! 😲 I honestly can't help but wonder where all this nonsense actually comes from! I mean, has anyone here ever truly witnessed an actual child existing, maybe even just watching a movie or something? It feels like we should probably just try to shake off these crazy, black-and-white delusions, you know? And I don't just mean when it comes to parenting, but more like for everything in life, really.
I honestly feel like neither being totally permissive nor resorting to physical "discipline" actually count as real parenting methods. To me, they both just seem like different ways of avoiding the actual work of raising a child! I guess it’s almost like a sign that someone doesn't truly want to engage with their kid; maybe they either let everything slide because they don't care enough to set boundaries, or perhaps they find that sitting down for a real, meaningful conversation takes way too much time and energy, so they just take the "quick fix" route by using their hands instead. It really feels like these behaviors are either just weaknesses where parenting becomes a bit of a chore, or they're just things people do when they aren't properly informed about how much we've progressed as a society and the heartbreaking statistics regarding modern discipline.

Raising kids really is probably the toughest job out there in the whole world, isn't it? I mean, let’s be honest, it can be such a constant struggle sometimes, and I guess you just find yourself running on empty without any real energy or time left for anything else. Even during those sweet moments when everything seems fine, there always seems to be some new little hurdle or issue popping up out of nowhere. It all adds up, but I truly feel like anyone who thinks they can just use physical discipline or constantly cave in to every demand to raise a child might not be quite mature enough to handle the complexities of such a massive responsibility. I honestly don't quite understand why people decide to have children if they aren't prepared to fully commit themselves to the journey, because I suppose using physical force isn't really an act of devotion—it feels more like someone is just trying to avoid actually dealing with the core of the problem.

I guess I could just pretend that I’m the only one who ever came up with this idea if I wanted to go around rambling about my own opinions, but honestly, that isn't really how things work at all! Goodness gracious, everything you could possibly need to know is already out there for everyone to see, so maybe people should just take a little more time to educate themselves and actually do some reading!

I suppose my personal take is that people who view the world through such rigid, black-and-white lenses probably aren't cut out for social life, let alone for raising a family.
For some kids, you can simply explain why they shouldn't put their fingers in an electrical outlet, and maybe you'll grab a safety cover just to be safe, but then there are those unfortunate children who, instead of getting a thoughtful explanation, just end up getting hit because a "parent" feels like they don't have the time to spend on something as vital as actual guidance. Then, of course, there are those who use physical force as a last resort and then try to convince everyone else that it's actually a fantastic teaching method, though I imagine those folks are quite rare, and even then, they're basically gambling with how that child turns out.
Personally, I wouldn't want to take that kind of risk.

Can you all see what those self-righteous advocates are getting at—imagining how much chaos would ensue if spanking were suddenly legalized again, or heaven forbid, actually recommended by some "expert" somewhere?
Do you guys really see what's being said here?
I guess there might be maybe half a percent of people on this entire planet who actually sit around agonizing over whether this should be a last resort. The rest will probably just end up like these forum users who can't even wrap their heads around protecting an influence if there's a better way to discipline a little kid besides hitting them.

@rd - I mean, I believe you’ve been through plenty of that yourself, based on what you’ve posted before, so you don't even really need to point it out. It’s honestly a bit sad.

Carl Bishop2 said:Of course. It's pretty much the same story as any other parent who just doesn't have the drive or the actual desire to put in the work when it comes to raising their kid.

I guess I'm not reading his stuff for the very first time, so it feels like a totally logical progression for a forum user like him to end up walking away from his own child. 😢

I definitely agree with what was said before—that a kid is going to act out exactly when they realize they can dodge getting grounded or hit, because you've basically just trained them to fear the punishment instead of actually caring about the behavior that started the whole mess in the first place.

@Kenneth Barnes4 - Are you seriously suggesting we should try to explain things to a kid beforehand while adding a nice little slap to ensure they don't wander into traffic? Or maybe wait until after the police return their child? Sorry, but I’m honestly laughing while typing this because I can’t imagine you’re being serious.
If the whole idea is that 'bad actions lead to bad consequences' and the consequence is just a smack, then that child isn't going to learn anything about why the action was wrong in the first place. A kid who learns not to run toward cars just because they'll get hit doesn't actually understand anything about car safety; they just learn to be afraid of getting slapped. It feels like such a way to stunt a child's development. And honestly, I won't even get into how humiliating a physical strike can be; I'm just looking at the philosophy behind that kind of parenting.

We've only seen one specific example from a video here with certain people involved. It would be pretty ridiculous to take those conclusions and apply them to all of life as a universal rule, especially when it means ignoring actual scientific progress. I have plenty of examples from my own childhood that suggest the exact opposite. I think a capable parent—provided they aren't completely out of their mind—can explain perfectly well why something is right or wrong, and kids eventually figure out what 'harmless hitting' really means as they grow up. I know I did; I was a calm, bright kid, and I interpreted it as 'that thing you do to others when you've run out of options and can't explain yourself any other way.' So, naturally, that's what I ended up doing to other kids.
I was a good, quiet, loved kid from a great family, yet I was basically conditioned to fight only when I was forced to defend myself (never to strike first). All of that didn't matter because what my parents taught me through their actions was something entirely different; everything else was just empty words.

You haven't answered a single one of the questions posed by Carl Kelly2, so why is that?
All of these are high-stakes, dangerous situations, not trivial ones. How exactly did you learn not to sit on a windowsill?
Judging by the video, children are mostly quite stubborn little beings to whom you can barely explain anything, so I’m really curious to hear some of the questions from our colleague or even my own?

I guess this whole thread is honestly just kind of hilarious when you take into account the upbringing aspect mentioned in that very first post!
I guess I'm just wondering what the actual point is here? Is it supposed to be about letting a kid get hit just so they can learn a hard lesson about, I don't know, getting into a car with a stranger or whatever else might happen? Maybe it's meant to show how bad things turn out when you don't teach them early, but I suppose I'm just a bit confused about the whole logic behind it!
I guess if that’s really how everything ends up and that's the core parenting philosophy being used, then it seems just as misguided as trying to teach kids how to avoid doing evil based strictly on Christian doctrine, maybe?
I guess I feel like if the main lesson a kid walks away with is "don't talk to strangers just so you don't get hit," then we haven't really taught them much at all, you know? To me, the whole point is that you don't go off with a stranger because it’s fundamentally the wrong thing to do, not simply because you're afraid of getting hurt. It reminds me a bit of how people view faith sometimes; I mean, you shouldn't do something bad just because you're scared of facing eternal suffering in hell, though I suppose some might argue there's always that chance of slipping back onto the wrong path even after seeking forgiveness! 😁 I don't want to go too far down the rabbit hole of how illogical or even harmful certain religious teachings can be, because I really don't want to get carried away there, but I guess the real issue we should probably focus on is just how illogical and truly damaging it is to hit children.

I guess the absolute silliest argument that keeps popping up around here is this idea that if you aren't being physically aggressive with kids, then you're basically just being way too soft and letting them get away with everything! 😲 I honestly can't help but wonder where all this nonsense actually comes from! I mean, has anyone here ever truly witnessed an actual child existing, maybe even just watching a movie or something? It feels like we should probably just try to shake off these crazy, black-and-white delusions, you know? And I don't just mean when it comes to parenting, but more like for everything in life, really.
I honestly feel like neither being totally permissive nor resorting to physical "discipline" actually count as real parenting methods. To me, they both just seem like different ways of avoiding the actual work of raising a child! I guess it’s almost like a sign that someone doesn't truly want to engage with their kid; maybe they either let everything slide because they don't care enough to set boundaries, or perhaps they find that sitting down for a real, meaningful conversation takes way too much time and energy, so they just take the "quick fix" route by using their hands instead. It really feels like these behaviors are either just weaknesses where parenting becomes a bit of a chore, or they're just things people do when they aren't properly informed about how much we've progressed as a society and the heartbreaking statistics regarding modern discipline.

Raising kids really is probably the toughest job out there in the whole world, isn't it? I mean, let’s be honest, it can be such a constant struggle sometimes, and I guess you just find yourself running on empty without any real energy or time left for anything else. Even during those sweet moments when everything seems fine, there always seems to be some new little hurdle or issue popping up out of nowhere. It all adds up, but I truly feel like anyone who thinks they can just use physical discipline or constantly cave in to every demand to raise a child might not be quite mature enough to handle the complexities of such a massive responsibility. I honestly don't quite understand why people decide to have children if they aren't prepared to fully commit themselves to the journey, because I suppose using physical force isn't really an act of devotion—it feels more like someone is just trying to avoid actually dealing with the core of the problem.

I guess I could just pretend that I’m the only one who ever came up with this idea if I wanted to go around rambling about my own opinions, but honestly, that isn't really how things work at all! Goodness gracious, everything you could possibly need to know is already out there for everyone to see, so maybe people should just take a little more time to educate themselves and actually do some reading!