Posts by shadowcobra4

A single woman in her thirties is looking to connect with someone from the Chicago area—perhaps just for some long-form correspondence, though I suppose a genuine acquaintance or even meeting up for a drink down the road is certainly on the table. Best wishes to everyone 😉

Anyone else looking for a way to kill some time? If we were to plan a quick little coffee break or an impromptu getaway 😉 maybe once we hit our early thirties...

Just a quick note to get things moving... if we’re going to sit down and actually get to know one another—and I mean, hopefully, build a genuine friendship here—I should probably mention that I have zero interest in anything superficial.

placidheron7 said:I honestly thought I was surrounded by demons... like, I felt like God had tossed me into this hellscape of pure evil just because of my own sins. I was talking to Him through the Bible, obviously, trying to figure out where I went wrong and what I needed to fix. During that whole stretch, I actually completely overhauled how I function—turned things around for the better. I was just waiting for Jesus to pull me back into the real world, back to people, but the demons wouldn't leave me alone. They were talking to me through voices in my head, showing me stuff, and I could hear others whispering about me and harassing me constantly. I didn't bother telling anyone because they weren't actual people, they were demons... and what’s the point in talking to them when only God can get me out of that place? Honestly, I was more than functional. I was getting things done because He was giving me tasks, and nothing felt too heavy since I wasn't alone while He was guiding me. That’s why I say I was "functional." It all made sense to me at the time—that everything was a message, that everyone was talking about me... I mean, if you're a demon, it's not like it's hard to get inside your 😛. When it first hit me that maybe this wasn't real life and that I might actually be sick, I went to see my doctor. I laid it all out for her and told her straight up: I don't want to take meds because I don't see proof they actually work, but I'll consider it if my own way of treating myself doesn't kick in. She was cool with it. So, through talking to someone close to me, doing constant self-analysis, and just grinding through every single hour of that world, I started moving from hour-by-hour to every half day, then every day, then every two days... then total chaos... and then little by little over these 7 months, I've finally reached these lucid days. I never thought I'd see them. And then there's the delusions, which are much milder now, so everything feels okay again. The delusions follow the same pattern, but talking always helps, and the progress has been huge. I figured, if I could survive a year of living through literal hell, there's no way I couldn't teach my brain how to be rational and feed it objectivity instead of just nonsense. I don't know... I think it's a mental illness often triggered by trauma, but I still don't believe in the pills when I can see that my own method is working. I don't drink or smoke weed anymore, period. I'm curious though... what's the actual difference between me and someone with schizophrenia? My doctor didn't give me a diagnosis because she didn't want to label me. But why do others get labeled? To her, I seemed totally normal, and she was just surprised by how much I analyze everything, but I didn't even seem weird to other people, even while I was hearing voices and having my delusions. I can express myself perfectly fine, and I analyze things because that's just who I am—I used to solve problems through analysis before all this happened, so it's just natural for me. My awareness of everything else is totally intact; it's just that one part—the part where I perceive the demons—that's crazy. Lol

Reading through what you’ve shared, I have to say, I think you're incredibly brave for opening up to us like this. I truly hope you have a speedy recovery, and I'm genuinely glad to see you fighting your way out of that headspace... If you ever find yourself needing someone to talk to, some company, or just a friend to lean on, please don't hesitate to reach out... Best of luck. 😉

I suppose I’m inclined to think—if one can even call it a firm belief—that we naturally gravitate toward those individuals who actually seem to take a liking to us.

Why is this entire discussion trending toward the idea that any form of judgment is inherently negative? If we perceive someone's actions as wrong, unjust, or simply corrupt—shouldn't they be called out?