Posts by Jason Kim6

A terrible tragedy occurred. Amon took his own life—he jumped from the sixth floor. I'm deeply saddened; he was a good friend to me.

Once, an American psychiatrist asked if I experience "strange thoughts." I assume she was referring to some specific psychiatric definition—if such a term even exists—but I wasn't quite sure what she meant by it.
I told her I don't have any strange thoughts, to which she responded with a skeptical "Are you sure?" It seems some professionals just don't know how to do their jobs properly.

I guess I might even tolerate a psychopath in a close friendship—provided they actually try to be a decent person despite their flaws—let alone someone dealing with schizophrenia. lol

Harold Anderson3 said:To be honest, I actually spotted him just the other day, and he didn't look like he was doing too well. He's always been such a kind, sharp guy, so it's a real shame to see. Anyway, how have things been with you lately?🙂

I'm doing fine, thanks. Amon is a legend—he deserves the help. I'm broke too, I guess, but he’s truly struggling. He doesn't even have a phone—so there's no way for me to call him.

Harold Anderson3 said:That’s definitely me! I actually stumbled upon that book the other day and saw your number tucked inside, but I couldn't quite bring myself to call you. 🙂
I ran into Amon a few days ago... poor guy looks completely lost wandering around town... I think he knows where he's headed, but he's just totally checked out from reality, stuck deep in his own head.
If you happen to be in Chicago, maybe we could catch up over coffee. 🙂 😉

What a coincidence that you brought up Amon! We became friends back when I lived in Brooklyn. He isn't even on Facebook anymore, and we can never seem to coordinate a time to grab coffee—we actually bumped into each other once in the city.

I know which doctor told me I’m perfectly healthy—but honestly, I think I’m just neurotic.

Nicole Barrett76 said:Is there anything more devastating than a psychiatrist delivering a crushing diagnosis through paperwork rather than looking a patient in the eye? It feels profoundly cruel when someone discovers their fate while traveling home, suddenly struck by the weight of it all—it’s enough to cause a heart attack or leave one utterly broken by grief.

I once had a doctor from Johns Hopkins write down a diagnosis of mental retardation without ever having the courage to tell me to my face. Naturally, this lack of directness did nothing to soften the blow; if anything, it made the confrontation with reality even more jarring.

I suppose I should be grateful that she finally had the decency to strike it from my record during my next appointment.

Well, look at that, my dear piskavac—who exactly are these criminals and charlatans? Honestly, maybe it isn't even worth seeing a psychiatrist. You should probably just handle everything yourself—with friends and acquaintances, I guess.

darksurfer4 said:Unknown psychosis likely means you aren't showing overt symptoms of schizophrenia, like hearing voices or having visual hallucinations. AT LEAST THAT'S MY GUESS, SINCE "MANIFEST" SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING BEING SHOWN OR DISPLAYED PUBLICLY.

Perhaps I am mistaken; history has always been a stronger suit of mine than psychology. All things considered, the Nazis truly believed various conspiracies were being plotted against Germany, even if there is zero historical evidence to support those claims—they launched attacks and committed genocide largely because they were convinced by their own delusions. So, I ask you, what kind of diagnosis would you even assign to the Nazis?🤔

I honestly cannot fathom how she could have written that; I don't know what kind of impression you give off in person, but based on your posts, it's blindingly obvious that you aren't anywhere near being intellectually disabled...

So why did she diagnose me with schizophrenia then? I mean, what gives her the right—especially since she explicitly admitted there is no manifest psychosis present. Is she just diagnosing me this way to humiliate me?

darksurfer4 said:I’ve been spending far too much time lately digging through Google, specifically looking into residual schizophrenia, and honestly, it isn't some "milder" version of the disorder—in fact, I don't think a "milder" version even exists in the way people imagine. What we’re actually looking at is a specific state characterized by profound isolation, a total withdrawal from the world, and this heavy, dragging motor retardation that just slows everything down. It’s a complete lack of willpower or any drive to engage with life, leading to things like neglecting basic hygiene and just... fading away.

Exactly. And then doctors just hand out these terrifying diagnoses based on nothing more than their own subjective impressions.—I guess.

By the way—my medical records say I don't have any Unknown psychosis. What does that even mean? Someone told me my doctor couldn't decide on a diagnosis, so she just settled on schizophrenia, I guess. Finding work is impossible regardless of whether I'm healthy or not—there are just no jobs out there. I'm angry about being diagnosed this way—but what can I really do? These psychiatrists act like they hold the power of life and death. Interestingly, a psychiatrist in New York City once wrote that I was mentally sound and didn't need treatment. But I've lost that paperwork somewhere. I tend to be withdrawn—though I'm open to communicating—but I'd prefer if people reached out to me rather than me having to approach them.

darksurfer4 said:Based on how you're describing things, it doesn't sound like you're dealing with schizo, though then again, I can't quite wrap my head around why being a bit withdrawn would land you in a New York City ward in the first place.

It might not be about the schizophrenia specifically, but rather about the potential for mistakes in the system; I’ve been following a thread about insomnia for a while, particularly regarding one user whose psychiatrist handed down a diagnosis that, in my estimation, seemed highly questionable—I really wouldn't say there's much logic to it. Then, on a discussion about bipolar disorder, several other folks mentioned they were slapped with depression diagnoses and subsequently prescribed antidepressants, which naturally ended up making their manic episodes even worse. So, you absolutely have every right to be skeptical and go looking for a second opinion.

In my view, if you are functioning as well as you claim to be and feel like you shouldn't seek professional help, then what I'm about to say isn't exactly "ideal" advice, but please, keep this in mind: once they give you a diagnosis—even an incorrect one—it goes straight onto your permanent medical record. And once that's on your file, who is going to want to hire you? Not to mention the whole inevitable issue of social stigma, which might just be the thing that finally pushes someone over the edge into a complete breakdown.👎

Look—it wasn't being withdrawn that landed me in New York City. It was because I took too many pills—meds I've been on since 2012—after I severely cut my arm due to my existential situation back then. My primary care doctor sent me to a hospital for an exam, where those pills were prescribed, and that's how I ended up in New York City; since then, I've had to take olanzapine and lorazepam. I don't think they're even that strong? As for the doctor who diagnosed me with schizophrenia—I suspect she's incompetent. Simply put—I've had struggles and issues throughout my life, but what does that have to do with schizophrenia? Lately, I've realized just how traumatic my life has been. And I can't really complain about the stigma, because most people just tell me—"you aren't crazy."

Angela Stewart6 said:Personally, I’m quite an introvert myself and I don't see any issue with that—though, of course, staying social is important since we are social creatures by nature!

I completely agree—I actually love being around people. It’s a shame I’m so withdrawn, which I guess stems from how my parents basically traumatized me when I was little. If it were up to me, I’d be meeting new people and having deep conversations every single day. I really don't see how I could have schizophrenia. A lady next door—who happens to be a friend's mom and a nurse, so she actually knows a bit about psychiatry—told me that I'm not mentally ill, but that there are other things going on with me. She wouldn't quite specify what those issues were, though.
btw—I used to have this fear of castration—which I've realized now comes from my parents being incredibly strict and neurotizing me about masturbation when I was a kid—but honestly, even that isn't a symptom of schizophrenia. hmmm

I’ve been diagnosed with residual schizophrenia at a state hospital in Chicago—though I’m convinced the diagnosis is wrong, which is honestly just frustrating. The psychologist who tested me made this whole distinction between positive and negative symptoms; she claims I have the negative ones. But so what if I’m withdrawn? I’m certainly not the only one. Does being introverted automatically make me some kind of severe psychiatric case? I mean, I have definitely dealt with my fair share of struggles in life—but I don't think they have anything to do with schizophrenia.