Posts by Richard Richardson68

Angela Newman33 said:Honestly, if you’ve actually seen how a massive family operates up close, you’d realize it’s just daily grind stuff... it’s not some romanticized dream where a huge family somehow sustains itself while a bunch of little elves handle the cooking, cleaning, and earning the paycheck while everyone else naps.

There were seven of us growing up.

Angela Newman33 said:Most guys find this whole thing totally abstract

If you actually want a big family, one parent basically has to grind all day long
while the other is stuck at home 24/7—cooking, cleaning, tidying up, just handling everything single-handedly

Kids aren't cheap, let's get that straight
I’m not saying they need to be spoiled brats with iPhones since they were in diapers
but, say, they need new shoes constantly because they grow out of them so fast
plus clothes
and everyone needs their own bed—and if you want them to have their own beds (not even kidding, they'll eventually need their own rooms or at least a desk for school), you need actual space, which means a massive house or an apartment
and if you want to fit everyone in the car for a trip, you're looking at a huge SUV or maybe a Ford Transit van😁
None of this is "bourgeoisie" nonsense; it’s just basic necessity if you're aiming for a large family

And I don't even want to get into what happens when one of those kids gets sick and you're stuck hovering over them indefinitely

Realistically, having kids takes a ton of energy, time, and love... especially when there are a lot of them. At that point, it becomes a 24/7 battle

But how would the guy know? He's at the office while the biggest "battle" is happening at home... he's the one sleeping while the baby cries through the night... he's the one watching from the sidelines while his wife pushes herself to the absolute limit through endless pregnancies

And yeah, a woman who is constantly pregnant or breastfeeding can't really hold down a job, let alone build a career... so the other partner has to earn double to feed everyone... which means working harder and longer, only to come home wired and exhausted, collapsing onto the couch

Anyway... it's the kind of life everyone claims they want

p.s. I have three brothers (officially)

Look, I'm a guy, but if I were a woman dealing with this, I wouldn't have a single kid by now😁

Is that maybe why people think this way?

Kevin Bailey2 said:Or better yet, let him have the first four and I'll take the fifth. 🤣 🤣 🤣

Look, if I could actually pull off having four kids, why would I even stop at that? Why break the streak? 😁

Kevin Bailey2 said:Quincy:

I don't know what you're getting at with "soks." If you've got something to say, just say it. Don't waste my time. kaže: It all comes down to how you raise them. People treat kids like they’re made of glass, then act shocked when they grow up and have zero drive. My brother has four kids, and back when we all got together at my mom's place, I had them working like little pros. They were scrubbing tiles at three years old, helping out in the garden, or assisting me with making treats—like having the youngest dunk Petit Beurre cookies in milk while I worked. Of course, my mom would clean up the mess afterward, but the kids still help her fold the laundry and stuff. The oldest is six now, and the other day she just decided to whip up some grapefruit lemonade for everyone. Nobody even asked; she just had the idea herself. Honestly, they're doing great.

I'm with you on that.
I'm not about to raise my kid to be helpless. Honestly, I'm doing it for his own sake. The sooner he learns how to hold his own, the easier his life will be.
And another thing... I’ve always felt that kids absolutely hate being treated like they're incompetent. Most of the time, they actually enjoy just being helped out.
Haha. Mine's only a year old, but he thinks he’s part of everything we do.
The other day I’m dragging this heavy little stool from my bedroom into the living room, and out of nowhere, he charges in. He grabs the other end and starts pushing with everything he's got. I’m just standing there pulling, yelling at him, "Look at you! Helping Mommy! You're so strong!" and he’s just screaming with pure joy. To him, it’s all just one big game. It was honestly hilarious to watch. But honestly? What I love is that he’s already showing this stubborn streak where he wants to do everything himself. Like, he actually insists on showering by himself now—I’m serious, he’ll grab the loofah and start scrubbing away. 🤣 So, the other day I’m messing around with my towel after a shower—you know how it is, just rubbing it over your head, being a total idiot—and then it happens. Right when I'm trying to grab a spoon. Honestly, it’s ridiculous. He just wants to do everything his way, even if it means everything ends up hitting the floor. 🤣 So, I gave him a pot of pasta and sauce yesterday. He started out using a wooden spoon, then moved on to a spoon, then just went straight for his hands. By the end, he basically just shoved his entire face into the pot. 🤣

True. We can't have it looking like parents are just out here coaching their kids into disability claims.
LOL. Listen to this.
I’ve got an acquaintance from my old preschool days—honestly, I can't even remember if she was a psychologist or a counselor since I wasn't actually there—who I need to reach out to with a question:
Why on earth is your three-year-old cleaning up their toys? For kids that age, it’s supposed to be about play, not chores.
Are you kidding me right now? If someone tried pulling that kind of nonsense with me, I’d personally shove that overpriced, fake degree right back up their ass.
I can't wrap my head around why anyone would bother storing toys for a kid until they're seven. It’s overkill. If you scatter them all over the floor, you'll just end up picking them up anyway—it's that simple. Honestly, I'd rather just focus on making sure they actually understand how things work.
By three years old, they’re already savvy enough to get themselves into plenty of trouble.
It's a whole different thing when people start underestimating them.

Look, I wasn't trying to put anyone down, discriminate, or be offensive. That wasn't my intention at all.
I hate seeing people leave comments like that. It’s just ugly.

But look, I’m just stating facts... like postpartum recovery... speaking purely from one woman to another... how? How can you even conceive again just two months after giving birth?
I mean, good for you if you actually have the energy... because you're starting a pregnancy on a body that's already a total wreck... plus you've got the added weight of an older kid who needs constant, non-stop attention.
I couldn't do it.
That doesn't mean I'm judging those women.
It's just that I don't think it's a smart move. I see them coming onto these forums later, complaining about how they're drowning or how they can't even find five minutes to take a shower... and seriously... why would you put yourself in a spot where you can't even grab a shower?

My take? Three kids is the sweet spot.
And at least four years between them.
A four-year-old isn't in diapers anymore... they can feed themselves and get dressed (if you actually taught them how, lol)... and you can hand them off to their dad to play without a meltdown. My little one is only a year old and it's still hard to separate us for even half an hour... he plays with his dad for a few minutes and then comes sprinting back to my room. Imagine if I had a newborn right now... I'd be trying to care for a tiny baby while this one is jumping all over my head.

Truth is... I know my kid would probably be happier if I just churned out brothers and sisters one after another so they were close in age and could play together...
But I wouldn't... not for him. I'm way too selfish for that.
So, his next sibling won't show up for maybe... ten years. 🤣
I had my first at 21, so I'm giving myself a break until I'm 33. 😛
But if it happens sooner—whatever. I'm not having an abortion.
And even if the idea of being pregnant again or having another kid right now sounds tempting... my brain says "no"—there is zero chance. Right now??? Not with this kid screaming "mommy-mommy-mommy-mommy-mommy-mommy-mommy" at me 24/7....

No!!!!!! 🙂

I know people where even one kid is way too much. They’re just totally lost in space and time. Their lives are a complete disaster zone of bad organization, zero free time, and nothing but constant complaining and misery...

A mom with five kids doesn't have time to just sit around idling on some forum.😁

I mean, sure, it’s way easier to just have one or two kids. You aren't splitting the bills four or five ways, and maybe you even have enough left over to buy yourselves something nice once in a while. 😉 Plus, you actually have some free time...
Look, I get it. It’s about choice, right? And honestly, I respect that.
But at the end of the day, this is mostly about sacrifice—whether it's emotional or financial, it doesn't matter. You do it for the kid. That goes for one child just as much as any other. Having five kids doesn't exactly mean you're sacrificing five times as much; a lot of those struggles just overlap 😁.
But this idea that having a big family is impossible, or "unnatural" like people love to claim? That’s just plain wrong.
I am constantly hearing people chime in with stuff like: "Oh, she's pregnant again" 😲, "They're going for a third kid" 😲 "How irresponsible," "What a disgrace..."
And don't even get me started on the comments people make about a fifth child...

I really have to wonder what drives someone to judge a person's fourth or fifth child like that. Are they just trying to justify why they only had one?

I honestly don't know a single family with five or more kids that actually managed to take them all to, I don't know, McDonald's or a movie theater. Or even just giving every single one of them thirty minutes of undivided attention every day? Yeah, right. It just doesn't happen.
Why? Seriously, why?
It’s all just empty buzzwords, honestly. Just made-up excuses from people who only have one or two kids—and look, I’ve "only" got two myself, so don't even get me started.
Why? Seriously, why?
I mean, let's be real—in most cases, that's just theoretically impossible. It's basically a non-starter.
Look, if you’re actually going to drag a kid to McDonald's, they should be at least two or three years old to make any sense. I mean, think about it—for most families out there with like five kids or more, that means the oldest one would have to be at least fifteen. And honestly? By then, they probably just want to go to McDonald's on their own or hang out with their friends anyway.
I don't know, maybe it’s just my second or third kid, but they just straight up refuse to eat anything from McDonald's. Like, at all. It's honestly such a hassle.
It’s the same deal when you’re trying to hit up the movie theater. Our little group of "seven" is heading out to see... what, exactly?
I mean... all five of the kids are doing English classes now. Honestly, that two-year-old is probably picking it up faster than anyone else, I guess. 🙄.

I just can't stand kids standing there in line, waiting for you to give them half an hour of undivided attention while they spend the rest of the time just staring blankly out the window. It’s exhausting, I guess.

You can harp on about it all you want, but honestly? It always comes back down to work, money, and career moves...🙄.
If my husband pulls in enough at his job, if I don't have to sacrifice my career just because of the kids, and if we actually have family nearby to help out—then, maybe, I'll even consider having another baby...
Unfortunately, that’s just how the world works.

It feels like more and more parents these days were basically only children themselves, or maybe they just had one sibling, whatever. And honestly? It’s made them way more selfish than previous generations. Like, they never actually learned how to share. Not even with their own kids.
I mean, obviously, this is all happening on a subconscious level.
Now, they go out and have one kid, maybe two if they're feeling generous. Just enough to satisfy some social requirement. Or, you know, just so they can complain at work or when they're out with friends about how "exhausting" parenthood is.
I'm talking about the average here, not saying it's a rule for everyone.

And don't even get me started on those tunnels 😁. I bet Kalmeta would be over the moon about that.

Half of that money should, obviously, go straight toward shipyard workers' wages—you know, so they can actually afford to live for at least another decade. 🤣
Instead, we're talking about some random city that hasn't even been built yet. And get this: you'd have to manufacture all the building materials, then, God forbid, actually make the furniture too. What a massive, insane waste of cash.😢