Sophia Lopez2 said:....I’m dealing with much of the same here, so if anyone has any advice, please, by all means, share it. ...For months on end, my life felt like nothing short of a waking nightmare. My closest family members were hit hard by cancer, and they passed away... and when my father left this world for good, it felt like my entire social existence vanished right along with him. During those darkest hours, I desperately needed the people I used to grab coffee with—the ones I actually trusted—but they just evaporated. On the day he died, there wasn't a single phone call. Not one person reached out to ask how I was doing. It was just a string of "I'm so sorry" texts. And at the funeral? Of course, nobody showed up. It happened right around the holidays, too, which was just perfect, because that’s when classes at the university started ramping up again. I had to force myself to bury my head in my textbooks and focus on my lectures instead of sitting around having coffee... and eventually, I became someone people just didn't find interesting anymore. They’d call me to hang out once they were done with their own coursework, but I’d stay behind, stuck in my books. They drifted away from me, and now, I’m just alone. Since I ended up having to retake a couple of classes, those were the only people I really knew, and we used to stick together, but now? Now I have nobody. I sit there by myself, just counting down the minutes until I can get back to my apartment and finally have someone to talk to... Please, tell me how to move forward... I need people I can actually trust. I feel like I've reached a point where I absolutely cannot afford to be alone and just let the grief swallow me whole. Believe me, sitting through six hours of college lectures without saying a single word to anyone... it is absolutely soul-crushing.
The best thing you can do is use this space to say whatever you need to say. Whatever is weighing on your heart... the people here will either understand what you're going through or they will genuinely want to try to. We are standing by you.
Yes, I suppose you’re right—I say these things to her, and I truly believe them in the moment, yet the sensation remains unchanged. I am still left feeling utterly solitary and isolated, as if I’ve been cast aside and abandoned by everyone.
goldeneagle8, I hold a firm belief in some supreme being who brought us all into existence, yet I find the various organized religions to be utterly nonsensical. In my view, we are all fundamentally the same. And consider this—there is that old saying derived from the Bible that physical discipline is a part of the natural order. However, I would argue that most people struggle today precisely because they were raised witnessing violence within their own homes, or perhaps they were the direct victims of it themselves.
Hehe... Look, if you start from the premise that there exists a God—specifically the Christian version, blah blah blah—and claim He’s the one who designed me, then by extension, He’s the one who engineered all my problems. If that’s the case, why on earth would anyone seek solace in faith?
goldeneagle8 said:Honestly, it looks like you’ve completely lost your way spiritually. You seriously need to start praying to God, and hey, there are plenty of those spiritual revival sessions by Zlatko Sudac on YouTube if you need some guidance... maybe one of those will actually bring you back to life, and then once you're feeling human again, you can slowly get back to doing whatever it is that actually makes you happy. Once you finally realize just how beautiful this life can be—even after all the crappy moments—then you'll actually feel satisfied. But seriously, you just have to get back on the tracks because right now, your train has completely derailed from them.
I have no intention of being provocative; I am merely interested in hearing your perspective. Why should someone who finds no meaning in existence, someone for whom nothing seems to go right despite not being the cause of their own misfortune, be expected to turn to God? Is it purely because that was God's design?
I find myself in much the same predicament; I don't really have any close friends, and in truth, I spend most of my time in solitude. Even here, within this community, I feel as though people don't truly see me or engage with me in the way I would hope to be perceived.