Posts by dustybear77

Sam Peterson7 said:Based on my own journey and the experiences of people I know, this is how I’ve come to understand the process.
Medication should merely serve as a foundation—a tool to help you do the actual work of self-improvement, identifying the root causes, and finding healing. For instance, I used medication simply so I could find the strength to get out of bed, to function at all, to stay tethered to life, and to remain calm enough to prevent panic attacks or self-harm. Throughout that entire time, I was in psychotherapy. I was given numerous assignments that were incredibly difficult to complete due to a total lack of willpower, yet I somehow forced myself to follow through. It was an exhausting, uphill battle; I had to fight every single day just to make progress, but eventually, I succeeded. Since then, there have been setbacks, but I have changed fundamentally, and I now tackle problems differently than I did during those previous ten years. I still have to put in the effort, but I have managed to shed those devastating emotions that consumed me for an entire decade. It is truly remarkable how different life can become. During that recovery phase, I attended therapy once or twice a week, and during that window, I didn't focus on anything else besides my treatment, all while having the full support of my parents. That support is vital.
Now, there is a very different scenario where someone starts medication but avoids psychotherapy entirely, seeing a psychiatrist perhaps once every two months just to get new prescriptions or minor dosage adjustments. I have friends who have lived this way for years, and when I ask them where they see this going, they just respond with a hollow, "for the rest of my life." One friend has already resigned herself to it. When I asked her why she wouldn't try psychotherapy to actually uproot the depression and its accompanying disorders, she paused and admitted she wasn't ready for that level of work. Of course, it is much easier to simply rely on pills indefinitely.
In closing... No, I don't know anyone who relied solely on medication without the depression returning once they stopped taking it.

Oh, wonderful. So what you're actually saying is that if someone didn't JUST pop pills—meaning they actually did the work, went to therapy regularly, and tackled the root cause—then the depression is bound to come crawling back the second they quit the antidepressants. Brilliant.🙂

Has anyone here been on antidepressants for the long haul—I mean, actually following the doctor's timeline—only to have the depression come crashing back once you finally stop?

Actually, let me rephrase that. Is there anyone out there who finished their course of antidepressants and... nothing? Like, the depression just stayed away for good? Anyone?

My doctor just put me on Haley (which is basically the same thing as Prozac, right?) and says I should probably be on it for about three years. Of course, he won't give me a straight answer on the exact timing because apparently, everyone’s recovery timeline is different.

What really gets under my skin is the idea of taking something like this long-term. Sure, maybe my head will finally stop spinning, but what does it do to the rest of me? What am I doing to my liver or my blood counts?

And honestly, how likely is it that the depression and anxiety just come crashing back once I finally stop the meds after all those years? What happens then? Do I just end up right back where I started, popping pills again?

So you've been on Prozac for two years now? How much longer are you stuck taking this stuff?

William Nelson7 said:I I’ve dealt with something similar myself... For me, it happens when I suddenly stop and wonder who I actually am and why the world is being viewed through my eyes. In that exact moment, everything around me just freezes. It feels like a sudden bout of amnesia, though it usually clears up within
a few minutes...

Story of my Life.

Is there anything else eating at you lately, besides that constant fear? Try to actually break it down logically for once. What’s the absolute worst-case scenario if you end up on your own? What are you actually terrified of? Have you even bothered to talk to anyone about it?

When I was a kid, whenever I ran a fever, my brain would just turn into a screensaver... this blindingly white background, soft like a cloud, with these massive rubber shapes—like giant truck tires, for instance—drifting across it. You could actually feel the weight of them pressing down on you. It was a weird sensation, honestly pretty terrifying at first, but eventually, I just got used to it. That whole dream/feeling thing stopped ages ago, though now I’ve got much heavier mental stuff to deal with. 🙂

Lately, I have these moments where I lose my bearings for a second or two. I literally have to stop dead in my tracks and talk myself through it—reminding myself who I am, where I am, where I’m headed, what year it is, all that. It doesn't happen constantly and it doesn't last long, but man, it isn't pleasant. I try to chalk it up to being exhausted and the constant stress I'm living under.

But wait, there's more. 😁 Sometimes, when I finally let go and just relax—say, lying in bed with zero thoughts in my head—these random snapshots from my early childhood start flashing before my eyes. Stuff that shouldn't even be in my memory, like dressing up a Barbie doll, walking into a corner store clutching some crumpled dollar bills, or strolling through the woods near my house with my mom. None of it is "important" or traumatic, but it still leaves me feeling this weird sense of anxiety.

Doctor, help me out here.

Joshua Carter97 said:I get that competition plays a role in how things work, but honestly, it’s just exhausting. 😢

I really wish we could all just find a way to get along. 🙂

Why? Where does that drive even come from? Being nice to everyone isn't "natural"—honestly, it’s usually pretty unhealthy. I actually tend to steer clear of those people who try to be everyone's best friend, because 99% of the time, they aren't actually real with anyone (and they probably end up with an ulcer from trying too hard to be liked by every single person in the room).

It's way better to have two solid people you can actually connect with than to waste your life's energy on some massive crowd where you can't even have one decent, real conversation.

Alexander Lopez11, I know it feels impossible right now, but trust me, this is just a temporary funk. You’ve got to put in the work on yourself, and bit by bit, things will start falling into place. Lean on your people, go see a therapist, vent here on the forum—do whatever you need to do to make life feel manageable again. But don't even let those dark thoughts about giving up cross your mind. Life is way too good to just throw it all away. 🙂

Are you actually sure they don't like you? Where on earth are you even getting that idea from? Maybe it’s just all in your head and you feel unappreciated. But look, if you really are certain that people don't care for you, then you need to ask yourself why. It's impossible to be everyone's favorite person, obviously, but if the vast majority of people would rather walk in the opposite direction than work with you, there’s probably a reason for that. Maybe you just haven't found your niche in this career or with this specific crew—which isn't exactly a disaster—or maybe there are some personal habits you ought to address.

Whatever the case may be, keep your chin up. Don't go killing yourself trying to prove something; just focus on self-improvement and how you interact with others. 🙂

ironwolf82 said:My mom actually understands what I’m going through and she’s fully behind me, but at the end of the day, the decision has to be mine. Selling the land isn't the issue itself. It's more about how people would see me if I did. In my community, if you sell your family property, people look at you like you've completely failed. They see selling land as a sign of weakness, like you're someone who just can't make it on their own. Finding steady work is already such an uphill battle in my field, so it feels risky. I’d really love to pivot toward something in tech, maybe something involving computers...
To be totally honest, I’m terrified of making a move. I'm scared of being judged by everyone and losing the little stability I actually have. Ideally, I’d love to start my own small business, but I just haven't hit on a solid idea yet.

First off, figure out what actually matters—what *you* think you should do versus what your neighbors think you should do—and then just go with that. 😉

If you’re already this miserable with how things are, how much worse can it actually get by trying to change something?

It’s better to take a shot and fail than to spend your whole life wondering "what if" because you were too afraid to try.

brightridge59 said:I honestly don't see the joke here. 😕
It seems pretty straightforward to me: the man simply isn't finding any joy in his daily grind. He could have pursued just about any other career path out there, but for some reason, he decided to settle down as a farmer.

Look, I’m not trying to rub anyone's nose in their problems, and this isn't even about farming, but the way this post was phrased actually made me chuckle. 🙂Thank god someone's out there enjoying my posts. No hard feelings.

Honestly, it sounds a bit ridiculous to me, but hey, who am I to judge? I bet my own mess would look even more hilarious to you.

First off, there’s zero reason to be ashamed. I don't know where you get that mindset from. You’re working a demanding job, and you should be proud of that. Now, hating what you do? That’s a whole different story. I can't stand my job either, and trust me, it has nothing to do with farming.

Besides, just because you work out in a field doesn't mean you have to look like some stereotypical hillbilly. I do gardening as a hobby—moving plants around, wearing rubber boots, getting dirt under my fingernails—but I don't go strutting around town looking like that in the evening. 🙂

If you want a change, then step up and make it happen. I'm pretty sure nothing is going to be harder than manual labor in the dirt.