Posts by James Smith66

Joshua Rodriguez3 said:Look, I know nobody on this forum can give me an official diagnosis, but I’m pretty sure I had a psychotic break about 8 years ago.
Reading up on it, I see there are different types of psychosis. If anyone here actually knows their stuff, can you tell me what kind this might be based on these symptoms?

This is just a c/p from another thread.

Saturday night: Popped 5 ecstasy pills and crashed for a bit. When I woke up, I felt completely wrecked—total anxiety and depression. I knew right then something was seriously wrong.

Sunday night: Smoked two joints and it absolutely leveled me. I left after 15 minutes. Once I got back to my room, I saw my neighbor driving down the street and I became convinced he was targeting me, intentionally driving by multiple times just to mess with me. Fell asleep maybe 30 minutes later.

Monday morning: Showed up to high school like everything was normal. When the bell rang, the teacher was joking around and everyone was laughing. It wasn't directed at me, but I felt incredibly awkward. I turned to look at some guy and felt weirdly paranoid that he was staring me down. After that, I went home and nothing like that happened again.

The only thing since then is that whenever I talk to people, I start blushing and sweating. I've always been shy, but after that, I became way more withdrawn. Walking down the street felt uncomfortable and I just felt insecure and stuff.

After all that, it turned into depression, anxiety, and just being super antisocial. I started skipping school more and more until I eventually dropped out, then ended up enrolling in a different school later. I didn't want to go because I was hanging out with the same crowd—the guys who were constantly partying and slamming ecstasy, doing LSD maybe 15 times, hitting heroin, and smoking weed almost daily. In that group, the "cool" kids were the ones getting suspended for a year or getting kicked out of several schools.

Afterward, it was like my tolerance for weed shot through the roof; I had to smoke a ton just to feel anything. Then, about 20 days later, I probably had another psychotic episode. Masturbation had always been a taboo thing for me, and I’d deal with a lot of guilt over it. One time when I wanted to, I got terrified that a relative might see me through the window, so I moved to a smaller room and started thinking someone was filming me. Even though I knew deep down it wasn't true, I still panicked and started looking around, wondering if there was a camera hidden behind a box. Once I was done, the fear vanished. This happened twice more after that. Something similar happened years later too, but only while I was masturbating during a trip to the beach.

Later on, I went on another bender—popped 5 ecstasy pills, then 2, then 3—but nothing happened after that.

About 5 months after that first episode, I was on a packed bus full of kids my age and felt this massive wave of unrest and fear. The ride took about an hour. Two girls were sitting behind me chatting the whole time, and toward the end, I became convinced they were talking about me. Once I got off the bus and the tension died down, I knew they weren't saying anything and I had just worked myself up for no reason, but for a moment, I was genuinely suspicious.

For years afterward, I stayed withdrawn, blushing when I spoke, and finding it hard to initiate conversation, especially with girls and stuff.

What if you just stopped using drugs? Maybe your condition would improve... instead of staying on this path and continuing to ruin your life.

In my experience, they’re usually right—most of the time, she really does deserve better.

That's an interesting way to look at it. You made a great point there.

Did it ever cross your mind that he might just be using that as another excuse to walk away, much like he has a thousand times before?

Richard Davis91 said:Just out of pure curiosity—how does someone living with schizophrenia actually navigate their professional life and social circles? I mean, what does their capacity for work look like in practice? I really don't want to sound insensitive by asking this, but I have a friend with that diagnosis who struggles quite a bit; they’re frequently out on medical leave, spending time in the hospital, and sometimes they stop taking their medication, which leads to some pretty rough patches. Is that a common experience for everyone dealing with this, or is it more about how the condition progresses over time?🤷

My boyfriend works at a sawmill, and he deals with schizophrenia and depression.
He tells me work can feel pretty isolating... he constantly struggles with hallucinations that people are avoiding him or rejecting him. Sometimes, after being out on sick leave, he’s actually terrified to go back because he feels like he’ll be humiliated or something. He gets social anxiety, too. He said it feels like walking into a firing squad, feeling like he's just annoying everyone. Honestly, I deal with similar "brain fog" moments myself sometimes.
Even though he knows some of these things are hallucinations, he can't always help it, despite being on heavy-duty medications. It's one of the reasons I stay away from psychologists and meds myself—it just isn't for me.

Jacob Ross21 said:I was wondering if anyone knows how I can make my own patches... or if someone has a link showing how they're made. Thanks!

You can actually just order them through Vistaprintwww.vistaprint.com. It's much easier than doing it from scratch.

Has anyone here living with schizophrenia ever experimented with psychedelics? I've heard rumors that it almost always spirals into a bad trip for people with that diagnosis—is there any truth to that?

Sarah Wilson95 said:Well, have you ever heard of an even "lesser" form of humiliation? I’m talking about being stripped down by a whole group in the dining room, followed by a little "queueing up" in the bathroom, where they just give you a collective shower 🤔 and soap you all up
too.

Oh, come on... you've got to be kidding me. 😲😕

hollowtinker18 said:Easy for you to talk about those black bugs... everything's fine. Until those green fossilized mammoths show up.☕
We haven't had any real shockers around here for ages... no electric shocks, and hell, not even a screening of "Flight Over the Coward's Nest"... that legend played out a long time ago.😉
They aren't running around like Inquisition lunatics anymore... trying to "cure" you with a guillotine and chains.🙂

That's fair, but I actually just read on this thread about someone losing their cool and being sent straight for electroshock therapy. Her father even signed off on her renouncing certain rights or something similar... I can't quite recall the details. It makes me wonder if it's really okay if something more serious happens to her.😕

Lately, I’ve been seeing these bugs... little black things crawling around... then I realize I just imagined them, because they were way too big and then they just vanished. Honestly, I feel like I'm losing my mind, but I'm terrified to admit it because I don't trust their entire medical system or their treatments. I'm afraid they'll just toss me into a psych ward and start using electroshock therapy, and then I'll be completely gone. No way.
Glass... like a sardine... what can you do?🤷

Ashley Morgan said:So, I’ve been sitting with this diagnosis of unspecified psychosis and schizotypal personality disorder—basically a "borderline case" on my EEG. Honestly, I have this nagging feeling my doctors are sugarcoating things to avoid labeling me with a full-blown schizophrenia diagnosis. If they went that route, my life would basically be over. It would be a total disaster for my career prospects; right now, I’m working as a forklift operator, and if word ever got out that my head isn't quite right, I wouldn't be able to hold down a job anywhere. I struggle a lot with mood swings, and I suspect the docs are just trying to protect me from the stigma, but deep down, I can't help but feel like it's actually schizophrenia. Currently, I'm on 10mg of Zyprexa and Depakote Chrono.
I tend to keep to myself, and yeah, I get pretty lonely. Socializing isn't really my strong suit, so I probably come off as a bit of a weirdo or just some guy who doesn't fit in. More than anything, I just want to find a sweet girl who actually gets me, but I honestly have no clue how to find a soulmate when I'm living like this. Any advice out there from my fellow schizophrenia warriors? 😢

Try making an effort so you aren't so withdrawn. You don't have any reason to stay in; just get out there, and you might meet someone. That's the solution. If she's a good person, like me for instance, 😁...she won't care about a useless label like having schizophrenia. So, go get 'em! 👍

Brian Mitchell44 said:To wrap things up, I’ve already touched upon my friend here who was dealing with all sorts of hallucinations. I kept pushing him to see a doctor, but he refused—and now, after everything, he just got released from the psychiatric ward a few days ago (he actually checked himself in voluntarily for nearly three weeks). He’s been prescribed a specific regimen, and his psychiatrist mentioned it’s a "mild psychological disorder"—whatever that’s supposed to mean, since she didn't get into any specifics. So, there's one thing weighing on me: now that he's on this medication, is it common for him to be perfectly fine one day, only to have it hit him like a ton of bricks the next? Does he just spiral back into those fixed ideas out of nowhere? 😕

I honestly don't know what to do with him. Look, I'm not saying I want to work with him or anything, but we've been friends for years. I feel for him because he's sick, but am I even sure he realizes how much he's struggling? He sent me this message explaining why he thinks we shouldn't talk or see each other anymore—which is really just his latest fixation: he actually wanted me to delete his number so he wouldn't "burden" me or my personal life, plus a few other lines.

Does this ever actually end? Can these medications truly provide long-term help and bring back the person he used to be? Or do I just have to accept this is his new reality and maybe, for my own sake, it would be better to just walk away from all of this? 😢

I honestly don't buy it... my grandmother has been on them for depression and suicidal thoughts for ten years now after her son passed away, and she still cries every single day and talks about ending it all.
A guy I know with schizophrenia takes them too... heavy doses of Prozac along with about eight other different pills... and sometimes it's like they aren't even working at all.
Personally, I look at it as something that might be poisoning people more than healing them... though I suppose it helps some... I don't know... maybe it just depends on the individual.

brightsurfer said:HELP!!!!!
I'm feeling a little lost and could really use some input from anyone else dealing with unknown.
So, basically, I had this episode where I was hallucinating—hearing voices and just thinking some total nonsense—and it lasted about three days. I ended up at the psych ward for a day, got diagnosed with unknown, was prescribed meds, and then went home. That was three years ago. Since then, I've been totally fine; nothing like that has ever happened again. I'm currently on 5mg of Zyprexa. Life is good—I work, go to school, and honestly, I'm pretty happy. About six months ago, I went for a check-up, and I decided I didn't want to stop the meds. To be honest, I'm not even sure why, but they don't really mess with my life or cause any issues. Anyway, she gave me an unknown diagnosis.
I honestly have no clue why she gave me that. I only had that one single episode and literally nothing since. Zilch. My psychiatrist was talking such nonsense I actually felt sick. I think I seriously need to find a new doctor, but I have no idea who to see. Does anyone here know a decent psychiatrist?
Also, I wanted to ask someone who actually deals with unknown... PLEASE... when is the right time to tell a guy about your condition? Has anyone gone through this or anything?
I feel like if I told him right away, most guys would honestly just freak out and run for the hills. I don't really know anyone who would actually accept it and stick around.
Most people just don't get what this is like....

If he truly cares about you... and isn't a jerk... or... I don't know... if you aren't having active episodes... then there is really nothing to worry about.
I've been with someone diagnosed with schizophrenia for two years, and it never once crossed my mind to view him as "lesser" or anything like that because of his illness.
Even when he experiences hallucinations or believes things that aren't real, I just talk him through it and remind him of reality.
It hasn't been difficult for me at all.

Michelle Smith8 said:Figured I’d jump in here too. A few months back, I went through a full-blown psychotic episode. Honestly, I genuinely believed I had been chosen for some grand, cosmic purpose. I was walking around convinced my friends and I were basically gods, and I started categorizing everyone I met into color-coded groups—yellows, blues, reds, you name it. Even the radio felt personal; I was certain every broadcast was actually a coded message meant just for me. While I was glued to the TV one night, I even managed to land myself a "code name": Milo. It all came to a head when I ended up in a physical altercation with the police and EMTs, so now I’m just sitting around waiting for my court date. At my girlfriend's insistence, I finally saw a psychiatrist, and thanks to some Ziprasidone, I’m slowly starting to find my footing again. My doctor says he isn't quite sure what's going on with me yet, so he wants to wait at least six or seven months before pinning down a formal diagnosis.

I've had those same wild thoughts—hearing voices from above or feeling like I have some divine purpose. Honestly, you really should go by "Milo," haha! 🙂It sounds to me like what you described might be schizophrenia, especially since you mentioned they haven't finalized a diagnosis yet... if I'm following you correctly. Are you feeling any "better" lately?

When I was younger, I wasn't really using anything, even though I was dealing with schizophrenia back then. Now, things are different, though there was one period where seeing those kids instead of pillars led me to take some nerve medication mixed with alcohol... aside from that, marijuana was the only thing I ever tried, and it never caused me any hallucinations.

briskgull27 said:This condition is honestly so overwhelming that even doctors hesitate to officially write down an F20 diagnosis on your medical records.
I personally can't wrap my head around what exactly makes my experience so "abnormal," and truthfully, I don't even want to find out since it's a lifelong journey.
I've been dealing with this for ten years now.
People often compare managing it to living with diabetes.
It’s such a heavy burden that you'll occasionally run into someone offering "alternative" cures just to get their foot in the door.
A doctor friend of mine once explained that it's sometimes referred to as "cancer of the soul."
As for me, I don't really have any desire to fully embrace that "reality."
That's all for now! 👏
Would you actually want to have a close friend or a family member living with schizophrenia?

Hey, a long time ago I had a boyfriend who struggled with severe schizophrenia. He was treated at a state facility in a place like Topeka, where they focused heavily on medication. He ended up feeling pretty let down because he thought talking things through would fix him, but the staff just wanted to stick to the prescriptions, and he wasn't really interested in taking them...

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

So, I just finished this assessment, and it suggests I have a moderate level of schizophrenia🙂 I already knew that, honestly, but it doesn't bother me much. When I was younger, I used to see things that weren't there, hear terrifying voices, and had this phobia of mirrors because I was afraid of seeing monsters in the reflection—stuff like that. But that was back then, and I didn't dwell on it or tell anyone because I was just a kid. I remember having my first vision around four years old, then another one when I was three, and then hearing a voice when I was seven or eight while looking in the mirror. That was pretty much it. I never let it get to me or made a big deal out of it, mostly because I was young and just moved past it. I think if you obsess over it too much, you just spiral. Maybe I'm rambling, but anyway, I remember being at a concert recently—not sure if it was the mix of alcohol, meds, or just the condition—but I was walking with a friend and a guy, and suddenly I saw three little girls holding hands. Then I looked closer and realized they were actually three pillars, and I just burst out laughing. I don't know if someone else would have been worried, but for me, it was actually a funny moment.🙂...though I did go through depression later, and I can say that my experience with schizophrenia is nothing compared to how brutal depression can be. Still, I think the best way to handle it, if you can't manage on your own, is through treatment... whether that's medication or therapy... basically, getting help.