Posts by feralheron84

lonegardener said:I was simply sharing my perspective. If you drop fourteen posts in a row, essentially replying to yourself or your own clones who are also replying to themselves... people are going to assume you've lost your mind.

Fair enough, what you said about me holds water, too. 🤷 But what exactly is driving you to be so combative?

Feels like this thread is more of a vent session than an actual cry for help.

Chris Cooper5 said:I have this issue where whenever I try to join a group of people who have known each other forever and they're already deep in some conversation I know nothing about, I just... I don't know how to jump in. It feels like I'm forcing myself on them, you know? I always end up feeling awkward or just plain stupid, and then they just keep talking amongst themselves like I wasn't even there. Also, I can't stand those people who just talk and talk without ever letting anyone else get a word in because they aren't actually interested in listening. But then again, it feels like nobody ever wants to listen to me either. I guess I don't really get why that is. Can anyone help? I usually just stay quiet, but when I finally do say something, I immediately regret it. 😢

Oh, and I should probably mention that I don't really have any friends. My doctor actually referred me to psychotherapy because my social life is basically non-existent, but I don't have the money to pay for it. 😢

It’s like... I feel like a ghost walking among people, like nobody actually sees me. Even if I do manage to hang out with someone, it never even gets to the point where we swap numbers. On top of that, I struggle because most people just aren't really my type of person to be friends with. It's not that I'm being picky or anything, I just... I can't find common ground. Maybe it's because I deal with depression and I expect too much from people, I guess. Once, back in summer school, I met my absolute best friend. We were together constantly for fifteen days, and I've never felt that kind of connection before or since. But then we went our separate ways, and since she lives in another state now, we've only seen each other once more. 😢

Look, most people spend about 95% of their time talking nonsense or just rambling about themselves. Unless you're at some high-level medical symposium, there's an endless supply of things to jump into or chat about. Your issue is really this part right here—it sounds like a lack of confidence is tricking you into thinking a group is somehow "greater" than you. Like they're more valuable, so your take doesn't matter, which then makes you feel like you're being pushy when you actually speak up. Honestly, most people don't even notice if someone is "intruding" unless you're being genuinely annoying, like constantly interrupting or acting like an egomaniac. Just try easing into the conversation slowly without overthinking it. No one’s going to judge you for having an opinion. Once you get comfortable, you'll find it's much easier to bring up topics you actually care about and get others talking about them.

Chris Cooper5 said:I have this issue where whenever I try to join a group of people who have known each other forever and they're already deep in some conversation I know nothing about, I just... I don't know how to jump in. It feels like I'm forcing myself on them, you know? I always end up feeling awkward or just plain stupid, and then they just keep talking amongst themselves like I wasn't even there. Also, I can't stand those people who just talk and talk without ever letting anyone else get a word in because they aren't actually interested in listening. But then again, it feels like nobody ever wants to listen to me either. I guess I don't really get why that is. Can anyone help? I usually just stay quiet, but when I finally do say something, I immediately regret it. 😢

Oh, and I should probably mention that I don't really have any friends. My doctor actually referred me to psychotherapy because my social life is basically non-existent, but I don't have the money to pay for it. 😢

It’s like... I feel like a ghost walking among people, like nobody actually sees me. Even if I do manage to hang out with someone, it never even gets to the point where we swap numbers. On top of that, I struggle because most people just aren't really my type of person to be friends with. It's not that I'm being picky or anything, I just... I can't find common ground. Maybe it's because I deal with depression and I expect too much from people, I guess. Once, back in summer school, I met my absolute best friend. We were together constantly for fifteen days, and I've never felt that kind of connection before or since. But then we went our separate ways, and since she lives in another state now, we've only seen each other once more. 😢

Low self-esteem and skewed perception. Look, unless you're out there dressed like a clown or rolling around on the floor, nobody thinks you’re being ridiculous or stupid. Just realize that people aren't really watching you, nor do they care about your little slip-ups. Even if someone laughs, they're laughing at the situation, not at you, Chris Cooper5. You can see it yourself—they just keep talking amongst themselves... PEOPLE ARE BUSY WITH THEIR OWN LIVES. You're stressing over what others think instead of just focusing on your own head.

Chris Cooper5 said:I have this issue where whenever I try to join a group of people who have known each other forever and they're already deep in some conversation I know nothing about, I just... I don't know how to jump in. It feels like I'm forcing myself on them, you know? I always end up feeling awkward or just plain stupid, and then they just keep talking amongst themselves like I wasn't even there. Also, I can't stand those people who just talk and talk without ever letting anyone else get a word in because they aren't actually interested in listening. But then again, it feels like nobody ever wants to listen to me either. I guess I don't really get why that is. Can anyone help? I usually just stay quiet, but when I finally do say something, I immediately regret it. 😢

Oh, and I should probably mention that I don't really have any friends. My doctor actually referred me to psychotherapy because my social life is basically non-existent, but I don't have the money to pay for it. 😢

It’s like... I feel like a ghost walking among people, like nobody actually sees me. Even if I do manage to hang out with someone, it never even gets to the point where we swap numbers. On top of that, I struggle because most people just aren't really my type of person to be friends with. It's not that I'm being picky or anything, I just... I can't find common ground. Maybe it's because I deal with depression and I expect too much from people, I guess. Once, back in summer school, I met my absolute best friend. We were together constantly for fifteen days, and I've never felt that kind of connection before or since. But then we went our separate ways, and since she lives in another state now, we've only seen each other once more. 😢

It’s not that people talk too much. It’s more that you aren't saying enough. Most folks won't just wait their turn; they’ll stay quiet for a few minutes while you struggle to find your footing. A conversation isn't like a Congressional hearing, you know? There aren't any formal rules. Usually, once you actually start talking, the other person shuts up to listen. If they don't, you can try asking, "May I say something?"—give them a little stern look for emphasis. If they still ignore you, honestly, they aren't worth the effort, though those types are pretty rare. You just have to realize it's usually not that they don't want to hear you, it's just that you *think* they don't. Makes sense? It's kind of like trying to walk around wearing foggy glasses.

REALITY (people who actually want to hang out with you) + DIRTY LENSES (your warped view of the world caused by low self-esteem) = DISTORTED REALITY (thinking nobody wants to be around you and everyone finds you awkward)

The thing is, you’ve got to ditch those glasses. Just start believing that people actually find you interesting and that you have something to offer when you talk.

Chris Cooper5 said:I have this issue where whenever I try to join a group of people who have known each other forever and they're already deep in some conversation I know nothing about, I just... I don't know how to jump in. It feels like I'm forcing myself on them, you know? I always end up feeling awkward or just plain stupid, and then they just keep talking amongst themselves like I wasn't even there. Also, I can't stand those people who just talk and talk without ever letting anyone else get a word in because they aren't actually interested in listening. But then again, it feels like nobody ever wants to listen to me either. I guess I don't really get why that is. Can anyone help? I usually just stay quiet, but when I finally do say something, I immediately regret it. 😢

Oh, and I should probably mention that I don't really have any friends. My doctor actually referred me to psychotherapy because my social life is basically non-existent, but I don't have the money to pay for it. 😢

It’s like... I feel like a ghost walking among people, like nobody actually sees me. Even if I do manage to hang out with someone, it never even gets to the point where we swap numbers. On top of that, I struggle because most people just aren't really my type of person to be friends with. It's not that I'm being picky or anything, I just... I can't find common ground. Maybe it's because I deal with depression and I expect too much from people, I guess. Once, back in summer school, I met my absolute best friend. We were together constantly for fifteen days, and I've never felt that kind of connection before or since. But then we went our separate ways, and since she lives in another state now, we've only seen each other once more. 😢

You do have friends. Maybe not "call them for coffee right this second" friends, but there are people out there willing to connect with you. They're everywhere. You've been on this forum long enough that if you looked closer, a few people would likely step up to hang out.

My advice? Just talk. Talk to anyone—the barista, the cashier, the bus driver. Practice that small talk. Don't just rely on doctors and prescriptions. Take it in tiny steps. And hey, next time, tell us how old you are.