Hey everyone,
I’m really hoping I can find someone here who might be able to offer some perspective or advice.
So, my partner and I have been together for five years now, and we've been living together for about a year.
We are truly in love and get along so well; he is such an incredible partner who helps me out with everything around the house, whether it's going for long walks or planning weekend trips, and I make sure to return the favor by handling the cooking and keeping our place tidy.
We both have steady careers and aren't worried about money at all.
The real issue is that I am genuinely terrified of motherhood, while he—though he hasn't said it directly yet—has been dropping hints that he wants kids someday, and since he's 38 and I'm 34, that "someday" feels like it needs to be right now or never.
I worry that I just won't have the patience or the stamina required to raise a child, and honestly, the thought of a child potentially having developmental issues scares me deeply; plus, looking at the state of the world today, I wouldn't even want to be born in this era, let alone bring a new life into it.
I know deep down he is the person I want to spend my life with because we are so happy together, but I think what we’re actually missing is honest, open communication, especially since in five years, we haven't even had a single real argument...
I also catch myself wondering if he truly wants to be a father or if he just feels pressured to do so because of what his friends and neighbors are doing...
He is also incredibly particular about how clean and organized our apartment stays, and I know that kind of lifestyle goes out the window once you have a kid, so I just don't want to go through with this unless I am absolutely certain I'm ready to be a mom.
I’m really hoping I can find someone here who might be able to offer some perspective or advice.
So, my partner and I have been together for five years now, and we've been living together for about a year.
We are truly in love and get along so well; he is such an incredible partner who helps me out with everything around the house, whether it's going for long walks or planning weekend trips, and I make sure to return the favor by handling the cooking and keeping our place tidy.
We both have steady careers and aren't worried about money at all.
The real issue is that I am genuinely terrified of motherhood, while he—though he hasn't said it directly yet—has been dropping hints that he wants kids someday, and since he's 38 and I'm 34, that "someday" feels like it needs to be right now or never.
I worry that I just won't have the patience or the stamina required to raise a child, and honestly, the thought of a child potentially having developmental issues scares me deeply; plus, looking at the state of the world today, I wouldn't even want to be born in this era, let alone bring a new life into it.
I know deep down he is the person I want to spend my life with because we are so happy together, but I think what we’re actually missing is honest, open communication, especially since in five years, we haven't even had a single real argument...
I also catch myself wondering if he truly wants to be a father or if he just feels pressured to do so because of what his friends and neighbors are doing...
He is also incredibly particular about how clean and organized our apartment stays, and I know that kind of lifestyle goes out the window once you have a kid, so I just don't want to go through with this unless I am absolutely certain I'm ready to be a mom.