6 posts shown.
I’m feeling pretty low right now. Honestly, just missing her. I told her straight up: if we’re only seeing each other twice a month, she needs to put that time and energy into someone she actually cares about. But every single time I ask, she’s already got plans with somebody else.
She calls me possessive and jealous. Look, I get it—that's part of my baggage, one of those flaws I carry around. But I refuse to sit here begging for attention or scavenging for the little crumbs she tosses my way every once in a while. I’ve got too much self-respect for that, even if I end up moping around the house alone because of it.
Maybe it’s me, or maybe I’m just cursed. Every time I get deeply attached to someone I love, it blows up in my face. And I’m definitely not old enough to just start playing it safe and holding back.
I’m exhausted. Just drained, sad, and lonely. It feels like every couple of years I’m right back at square one, losing a little more faith in people.
It’s always the ones you care about most who let you down the hardest.
That’s why I think using those "soft" phrases at the beginning doesn't actually help protect anyone's feelings. If anything, it does the exact opposite...
Lisa Smith7 said:It feels like we’re circling back to that whole debate about whether it's worth trying to save someone who is emotionally wrecked or not.🤣
I’ve already made my position clear: I fall into that category myself.
As someone mentioned earlier, both scenarios—A and B—are entirely on the table.
I honestly don't get it. When I tell someone that I am this way, and I suggest it might be smarter for them to move on—which is quite literally the most sincere advice I can give—they almost always take it the wrong way. They decide I’m just some arrogant jerk who thinks I'm too good for them. It's exhausting.
The "normal" crowd makes up maybe 20 percent of the population at most. There are actual statistics to back that up.
According to the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary: "normal" refers to what aligns with the standard, the regular, the customary, or the typical. 😁
Yeah, something like that. 😁
Merriam-Webster 1962: normal means anything that aligns with the standard, the regular, the customary, the typical. 😁
There's a massive hole in that logic, but whatever. 😬
hiddenhawk3 said:Yeah, but how many totally healthy people do you think actually exist? 🤷
If everyone was perfectly sane and functional, gambling dens and crime reports wouldn't be so full of 😛
And you, being this "healthy" person, would probably just ditch the person you like just because they're hitting a rough patch right now. 🤣
I mean, what if you're married and something happens—like an illness or an accident? Would you just kick your husband and kids to the curb too? 🙂??
edit: say someone gets laid off after ten years at a big firm, loses their savings, and falls into a depression. Is that even a valid reason to be depressed? Does that person suddenly lose their right to be with someone "normal"?
Life happens. Sometimes you just have to double down and deal with the mess. 🙂
I was just reading about why women in the States ghost guys. Some of the reasons are seriously brainless... 🤦 🤦 🤣
Ronald Garcia5 said:You're picking disasters on purpose because you're a mess yourself. You lack the maturity and the guts to handle a healthy, strong relationship—the kind that actually requires blood, sweat, and tears. So, you use that as an excuse. Been there, seen it all. :-)))
It’s the same pattern with my friend; she only goes for married men, while another friend picks "needy" guys just so she can play mommy instead of being a partner. It all starts within us—it's our own internal universe—and that's where you have to begin.
Stop asking why these women are broken. Instead, ask yourself which part of you is broken and what you need to fix to stop choosing chaos over stability.
Sorry, I'm just giving it to you straight, but that's the bottom line. :-)
That would (partially) hold water if I'd ever actually had a chance at a normal relationship. Hard to say I don't have the guts for something I actually want.
But yeah, I could agree that I subconsciously pick messes for whatever reason. 🤷
And regarding your last point? I'm wondering about that more and more lately.
Alex Patel96 said:I’m also out here waiting for the right one.😍 But they aren't showing up.😁
Honestly, I don't think it has anything to do with you. People like that are just chasing something that doesn't exist. I've been there myself—I thought I finally found the one, only to realize there was always some catch. Some people are just wired to be never satisfied, constantly hunting for something... but there is no such thing as "the perfect person"!
There's a ton of truth in this. ☕
restlessharbor5 said:Theory A: they're just broken, immature, or they straight up don't want a relationship because... well, whatever 🤷
Theory B: they think you're the problem, but they lack the guts to say it, so they act like they're the ones who are messed up instead 🙄
If it's A, then they’re clearly incapable of committing.
If it's B, then they're definitely lacking any shred of honesty.
Bottom line: you're better off being subtly brushed off by either type.😍
This post honestly made my day. 🙂 😍
Alex Patel96 said:Some people probably just say that stuff without thinking, but for others, it’s actually their reality. Personally, I can't even wrap my head around being in a relationship. It's just not happening for me. It’s hard to explain that to someone who doesn't get it. And yeah, I've told plenty of people that's just how it is with me. Maybe, just like you, they didn't really grasp what I meant.🤷
I have no clue what kind of people you've been running into.
I get it. But there's this weird little paradox here. Not only did they all say the exact same thing, but they also kept insisting they were just waiting for "the one"—but that person never shows up. A pattern started forming, and it's starting to get under my skin.
If you ignore the one decent relationship I had back in my teens, everything else has just been a series of pathetic attempts at something with people who—either bluntly or through some subtle hints—made it clear they were totally messed up and a relationship wouldn't work. In the last eight years, there haven't been many; maybe two, three cases tops, and they always end the exact same way.
Why do people even use lines like that? Is there an actual psychological basis for saying stuff like "It's not you, it's me," "I'm just broken," or any of those other low-key insults?
Aside from being a total slap in the face to your intelligence, it basically implies: you're so incredibly repulsive that I can't even bring myself to tell you directly.
I don't know how much weight to give to standard Psychology textbooks, but what are the odds that this supposed "brokenness" is actually true? Or is it all just a cover-up, like I suggested above?