Posts by coastalnomad62

I’m not really sure where this belongs, so mods, feel free to move this wherever... sorry in advance.

So, I need some help, advice, support... something...
My boss at work is basically making it impossible for me to even breathe. There are four of us on staff. All the other women have known her forever, so they know they have to kiss her ass constantly—basically sucking up to her, bringing her little treats or snacks to the office, which just isn't my style.
I mostly just keep to myself, stay out of the drama, and do exactly what I’m paid to do.
When I first started, they barely showed me the ropes. They kept telling me I didn't need to know certain things yet, as if I wouldn't figure it out once things actually got difficult, so I've had to teach myself most of the job through trial and error...
The vibe toward me is pretty much nonexistent. When we’re all in, the veteran employees and the boss huddle up and chat, while I’m just stuck over on the other side of the room.
Whatever, I’m used to being ignored by now; you just learn to tune it out.
I don't care about the local office gossip, I just want to do my job well and get through the day.
But man, she just won't let it go.
A few months ago, the nonsense really ramped up.
I’ll be working in the morning, she walks in, and starts screaming at me, claiming I said something that I never even uttered. When the big boss stepped in, she tried to claim I just "misunderstood" her.
I've dealt with that before.
She’s never actually criticized my work—never told me I missed a spot or did something wrong, everything is technically fine—but according to her, everyone is complaining about me.
I should mention she’s the same age as me, talks to customers like they're children, and doesn't hesitate to be rude to anyone regardless of age, or even hang up on someone mid-sentence... and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
When I was hired, I was told that when she speaks to me, I should just shut up, because if I try to talk back, things will only get worse.
But I'm reaching my breaking point and I honestly don't know how to handle this anymore.
She treats me like a doormat.
We crossed paths one morning, me on one end and her on the other. When I tried to say hello, she just looked right past me.
The next day, she met me at work with this massive attitude, demanding to know if I knew who she was and why I didn't greet her, saying my "silent behavior" was unacceptable and that people were complaining about me—though she wouldn't name names.
Total nonsense.
Her ego and the way she acts have probably driven away half our clientele.
There isn't a single person here who hasn't had something negative to say about her.
But whatever, it gets to me too.
I know I do good work and I know how I treat people, so these petty power trips and idiocy really get under my skin.
Not a single day goes by without some version of this happening.
Whenever I try to start a conversation, she snaps at me to "only speak if it's something smart."
But when she's talking to me, it's always "you listen to me," and having to hear "do you hear me?" two or three times every single time...

And I just stay quiet because I'm afraid to push back, and I'm slowly losing my mind.
I think the stress is so bad it actually messed up my cycle; my period came two weeks early.
I walk into work with a knot in my stomach... it's a nightmare.
If you haven't lived through something like this, you have no idea what a living hell it is.
Just waiting every day for her next outburst, her little games, or the threat of being fired—which she could pull at any second. And I don't even need to tell you that the paycheck isn't exactly huge, so I need this job, and given how bad the economy is right now, I'm just grateful to have something.
The upper management doesn't care about this "problem"; they don't want to get involved in what they call "office politics."

Help...

Jacob Foster11 said:Actually, there’s an even easier way to handle this. Just head over here:

Under "Netflix Subscription mode," just select "No email notification" and hit "Save changes" at the bottom.
From now on, any thread you reply to will show up right here:

I tried doing that, but it keeps giving me some error about a subscription and saying I don't have any threads in that folder...😕

jadetrucker43 said:Click on the profile -> Check out more posts from coastalnomad62 🙄

That little smiley 🙄 is honestly adorable, but kind of pointless here... I mean, if I actually knew what I was doing, I wouldn't be asking questions since I'm still pretty new to this whole forum thing.
Anyway, thanks though.

I was wondering if there's some kind of way to pull up a list of my own posts?😕
Since I follow so many different threads and jump into conversations here and there, I constantly lose track of which ones I've actually replied to... it makes keeping up pretty difficult.

Most forums usually have a built-in feature—like "New Posts" or "My Posts"—that just lists everything you've written in one spot, which makes life a whole lot easier.

I haven't been able to find anything like that on this site yet... am I just missing it, or does this place not have that option?

David Jackson4 said:My dad and I pretty much don't talk, unless it’s some extreme emergency, and even then, half the time I just end up hanging up on him before we can even get going.
I honestly just can't deal with the constant lecturing about how he’s my father and how I should be the one reaching out first, or why I haven't called him lately.
The guy hasn't done a single thing for me in my life, so I don't owe him anything, and just because he's "family" doesn't give him any right to look down on me or act all patronizing.
If anything, all I learned from him was how to actually treat women with respect and value them. I also learned to be honest, which, I guess, has cost me some close friends here and there, but I just can't bring myself to be anyone else.

Honestly, I don't see what your issue is here...
What do you mean you "can't go against yourself"????
Look, if he's your father, he didn't create you to be his property, and you aren't doing anything wrong by setting boundaries.
Sure, you're supposed to respect your parents throughout your entire life, but that applies to parents who actually act like parents in the first place.

Take my mom, for example. She’s mostly fine, but the second money gets mentioned, she turns into a completely different person. I was basically on my own from age 14, working weekend shifts at a local diner just to pay for school, clothes, and food.
It’s pointless to list everything I resent about her, but it always felt like my brother had everything handed to him on a silver platter while I had to fight tooth and nail for every little thing I owned.
And whenever we fought, she always expected me to be the one to apologize, regardless of whether I was actually in the wrong. We could go a whole month without speaking, and during those times, she wouldn't even bother to make sure I had a hot meal waiting for me...

I've said it so many times: if I ever end up acting like her toward my own kids, may Bog spare me from ever having them. My heart would just break knowing they were going through what I went through, even if I was doing it unintentionally.

But hey, I have a kid now, and I try my best to provide everything they need—and maybe a few things they don't—and yeah, I definitely overdo it sometimes. But I will never, ever let my child be forced to work just to afford basic clothes and food at 14, all because one kid gets nothing while the other gets served on a tray.

I don't think I'll ever become like her, because I know exactly how much it hurt, and my kid isn't going to deal with that.
Obviously, stuff like this leaves a mark on you, but if you ever find yourself facing a situation similar to what you have with your dad, I bet a little lightbulb will go off in your head. It'll stop you from repeating the same mistakes that caused you so much pain in the first place...