Posts by redtiger35

urbanpilot said:I finally got taken off diazepam and I'm just staying on Sonalia 50 mg now.

Instead of the diazepam, my doctor prescribed Valium, which isn't even stocked at our local pharmacies and costs a fortune out of pocket. Apparently, they switched me because Valium is supposedly herbal-based and won't cause dependency—that was the whole reason for cutting the diazepam. In the end, I just ordered some herbal nerve and calming tincture from a woman who makes her own botanical supplements, and honestly, it actually works.

I take it before bed and during the day whenever things get heavy.
The real issue is how the antidepressant is nuking my libido. Since I started this (about 4 months ago), my sex drive has been sitting at absolute zero.🙂
We try. We really do. We make an effort and it’s fine, I guess, but I can't reach orgasm. It’s incredibly frustrating, and obviously, it’s frustrating for my husband too. We’re both just irritable. There’s no more tenderness left. We climb into bed like two eighty-year-olds, exchange a quick kiss, and turn our backs to each other. It’s killing my mental state even more.
I’ve only just hit my thirties, yet I feel exhausted, pathetic, undesirable, and totally listless...
How do I fix this? I don't want to wreck my marriage. Things were genuinely great before this. Sure, we have ups and downs, little issues, and stress like any couple, but there was always compromise and respect. Now, I feel like the ground is slipping out from under us. Take today: we haven't exchanged more than two sentences all day. I made lunch, he and the kids ate, then I just sat in the living room staring into space. Later I napped while he sat at his computer and the kids played. When I woke up, I did the dishes, fed the kids, and went back to sit in front of the TV while he kept gaming. Once I got the kids to bed, he fell asleep in the living room and here I am, posting this. Now I’m going to shower, wake him up so he can head to bed, and that's it. A kiss, then turning our backs.🙂

I haven't seen your older posts, so I'm not sure: how long have you been in treatment overall? Did the loss of libido start right when you began this specific medication four months ago? And how massive is the shift in your sex life? You've basically got two major things clashing here: 1) depression is life-threatening and sticking to your therapy is absolutely fundamental, but 2) sex is huge in a marriage, and you guys are young; I don't want to scare you, but I've seen scenarios like this go south (talking three sentences a day, him gaming, the quick kiss and turned backs...). He knows you're struggling and he supports your treatment (I assume?), but he probably feels the lack of intimacy more than he actually says. In my opinion, while the depression is technically "more important," you can manage that more effectively through mechanics (adjusting your meds), whereas the relationship side is harder to control and can blow up in your face before you even realize it. Talk to your psychiatrist about how this AD is hitting your libido and ask for a change; focus on treating the depression while specifically addressing that side effect. Whatever you do, don't just let things stay like this!

Honestly, I just steer clear of that whole scene because it’s really not my thing. We all know Prozac had plenty of its fair share of "work in progress" issues back in the day. I actually heard about that book *Coincidence: Death*, and thank God it’s selling just as well as those meds are. 😁

Brandon Lopez6 said:I had the absolute worst experiences with public mental health services. Out of five scheduled sessions, the provider didn't even show up for three of them. And get this—I was traveling from another city, spending about $30 on gas and round-trip costs, plus wasting 4 or 5 hours on the road. So I drive all that way from out of town, drop the cash for gas, maybe grab a cheap snack because I’m running low on funds, and she just doesn't show. It honestly sent my blood pressure through the roof every single time. I’d end up having a panic attack and getting home totally wiped out from the travel, the stress, and the sheer frustration. After that, you really have to wonder if it's even worth calling back and booking again, just wondering if they'll actually show up this 🙄

My private psychiatrist used some pretty questionable methods. For example, a session would start with him asking what happened last week, I’d say, "Well, I got into a fight with my best friend," and he’d just pivot to, "So, how were classes at college?" Like, seriously? He just jumped from topic to topic without ever actually digging deeper into anything.
After he wrote in my chart that I was "tearful"—which happened because I finally opened up and cried during the session, telling him things I've never told anyone else—I was done. Then he noted that I seemed "neglected." Look, I showed up in decent clothes; sure, they might have been older, but they weren't torn, dirty, or smelling bad. My hair was just a bit oily and I wasn't wearing makeup. I came to the conclusion that if you're seeing Dr. G at a clinic like Sun, you basically have to be dressed head-to-toe in high fashion just to be taken seriously. Man, we were paying top dollar for those sessions, and it left me with barely anything left for clothes or other stuff.

What if you tried cutting the pills in half? That's how I moved to taking four half-milligram doses a day... since I'm used to taking them four times daily, it's easier for me that way. 🙂

Look, if the old stuff wasn't doing the job, then the switch was a win. If it had been working perfectly, you wouldn't even be dealing with a change right now. You basically have to cycle through different options until you hit the one that actually clicks for you. Honestly, if you can't tell whether it's helping or not, then it probably isn't. You'll know deep down if you're feeling better or not.

I doubt it's some corporate conspiracy, because from what I gathered in your post, you said the med wasn't working for you—and your doctor didn't just swap it on a whim. Most doctors don't even do that. Once you find a therapy that actually works, they usually just tweak it—you know, adjusting the dosage up or down—but they won't ditch the actual medication if it’s already doing its job.

Every drug comes with baggage, but the one that's right for you will definitely have fewer side effects than the ones that aren't. Usually, when starting something new, they start you on a tiny dose just to keep those side effects from hitting you like a truck.
An AD usually doesn't even start kicking in properly until about three months in, so I highly doubt you'd totally beat the depression in just another three. From what you've written, it sounds like it hasn't worked. And you said yourself you aren't feeling good, so why would you quit the therapy now?
Nobody here *wants* to be sick or popping pills, but we have to. Some of us take more, some take less. For some, it's a bullseye on the first try; for others, it takes ten attempts (just kidding, but you get it). Regardless, we're all putting in the work to get better.

It feels to me like you're looking at yourself as "weak for not beating depression," rather than seeing yourself as someone who is sick. Depression is a medical condition just like any other, and that's why it gets treated with meds. If you have strep throat and get a prescription for antibiotics, you don't just stop after the third pill; you finish the whole course. It's the same with depression. You don't just stop the second you feel a bit better; you wait a while and, most importantly, you do it in consultation with your doctor.

Man, hearing stories like that really bummed me out, though I've definitely dealt with some bad ones myself; for instance, there was this social worker I saw to try and bridge the gap to getting a psychiatrist, and she was so terrible—just strict, totally disinterested, wouldn't even look at me—that she actually blocked me from seeing any psychiatrists for another six months, which just dragged out my misery... so when it came time to pick a private doctor, I just went with my gut, which turned out to be the right call: I had two doctors in mind and set up appointments with both, but one could see me sooner while the other was later. My intuition was screaming at me to go with the second doctor, and it pulled so hard that I ended up canceling the first one! That's just how it works, you gotta listen to your lizard brain.😁
I honestly think it's a great sign when you walk out of a session feeling somewhat uplifted, or at least looking at things through a more positive lens. You shouldn't feel hurt, insulted, or dissatisfied...

I ended up crying too, just sobbed through the entire appointment, but instead of labeling me as "prone to crying," my doctor actually showed some genuine empathy! She didn't give me some formal written diagnosis either—I don't even know how private practitioners handle that stuff. Maybe she keeps a file on me somewhere, but I haven't received anything in writing osim recept.

Thanks for the advice, yeah, I felt the exact same way: if I'm not sure whether it's working, then it probably isn't. And I really shouldn't be on Helex for this long (it was only supposed to help ease the transition during the first few weeks of the AD, but now it's become part of my daily routine). Plus, my psychiatrist told me not to worry, that I'll eventually feel the effects of the AD... then again, I have absolutely no clue what those effects are actually supposed to feel like...

Has anyone here actually felt a massive difference once the AD kicked in?

Thanks, that’s a solid way to look at it, and honestly, that’s exactly how my psychiatrist puts it too. 🙂 I tend to get really caught up in these extreme beliefs of mine, so I don't always see how I'm actually hurting myself; I used to be incredibly self-destructive, and even with other people—not physically, obviously, just through my attitude and how I interacted with everyone, I couldn't even hold a normal conversation.

Maybe that’s why I end up causing more harm without the meds than with them, but truthfully, I don't even dwell on whether the pills are damaging me anymore because I crossed that line a long time ago; I remember when my doctor wrote my first prescription and tried to gently explain why staying on them was so vital, I just sat there sobbing—that was basically how my first few sessions went—and told her, "Yeah, whatever, I'll take whatever you give me, just please make this feeling stop."

And then, the second I started feeling better, I started coming up with all these ridiculous excuses for why I was just "feeling a little down back then." 😢

I don't know, maybe I don't take my depression seriously enough because I just haven't had any real support from anyone around me, especially the tiny handful of people I actually opened up to. On one side, you have people who just assume "she probably needs those pills since she can't handle things" and they just look at me with pity, and on the other side, you have people who think I should have just toughed it out. I'm not quite sure which camp my parents fall into, but the reality is that I’m paying for my own psychiatrist with my own paycheck now; back in high school and college, they didn't even want to hear about it because they just didn't get it—and hey, I don't blame them, it's fine.

Look, Helex has kept me steady and still does, but as for Elice... well, I honestly can't tell if it's even helping me or not!
That's why I wanted to switch things up, and my doctor agrees that we should try something else if this isn't working for me.

Because I was also expecting the treatment to kind of "give me that extra push," as you put it, James Foster4. But it pushed me so hard that instead of being hysterically miserable, I've just become quietly miserable. 😕

And I'm pretty terrified of starting a new medication because I have no idea how I'll handle the potential side effects, plus during my "good moments," I just want to kick the habit after six months, stop taking the AD, and finally stand on my own two feet; I just don't want to be some permanent patient living under medical supervision, that's all. :P

Hey everyone, I'm new here, though I've been lurking on the forum for a while now.
I’ve been dealing with mixed anxiety and depression, taking 15 mg of Elice and about 0.5 mg of Xanax daily "as needed" for maybe 3 or 4 months. I've already talked things through with my psychiatrist—we check in pretty often since I go to a private practice, which is tough on my budget, but honestly, she's a lifesaver so I just cut back on other stuff to make it work... anyway, she thinks the anxiety has cleared up significantly (!), but the depression hasn't budged. My appetite and sex drive have vanished too (which, honestly, works for me), and I can't even cry anymore. That's also super typical; I noticed it just a week after starting the AD—I feel like I need to cry, but nothing comes out, which was a huge shift from my old life where I'd be sobbing 3 or 4 times a week. BUT, that deep sadness, dissatisfaction, and total lack of interest in life are still right there. So, when we last spoke, my doctor suggested switching up my meds... and yeah, now I'm stressing.

Just to be clear, I'm not planning on following any advice from this forum; I have my own doctor and I trust her... but I've always appreciated hearing about people's experiences, and especially being able to vent like this since I don't really have anyone around me who gets it, let alone someone going through the exact same thing. 👋

How did you guys handle switching medications? How often do you actually end up changing things? And is it possible that Big Pharma is just playing us? Look, I know how wrong and ignorant it is to take depression lightly, but I definitely take my depression lightly. 😢 As soon as I feel even slightly better, I start blaming myself, or if I feel terrible, I blame myself then too... Like, I must be doing something wrong. I can't stop thinking that maybe depression is just made up and I'm just wrecking my body with all these pills for nothing. The truth is, Xanax is what pulled me out of that dark hole. For the Elice, I haven't noticed anything major over these three months, though I can't say it hasn't helped a bit with managing the anxiety. But the anxiety was never nearly as heavy as the depression was.

I'm terrified of new side effects from a different med, and everything else that comes with it... I originally wanted to stop the AD after six months, but now if we introduce something new, I'll probably be stuck on this stuff for a year or even longer... 😢 What has your experience been like, guys?