Posts by hollowbear9

I’ve definitely been there before; I used to do the exact same thing and honestly thought I was losing my mind, but I wasn't 😁
It actually has a technical term—if I recall correctly, it's called animism, which is typically just a developmental stage you go through when you're a little kid... the idea that inanimate objects possess a life of their own. Eventually, you’re supposed to outgrow it, but looking at people around here, it seems like that phase just never ends for some folks 😁

Look, I’m fully aware that nobody is perfect. When it comes to the emotional side of things, my old man probably just didn't have the tools to handle it better, but I can't help blaming him for constantly lecturing me like I was some kind of child and pushing his obsession with perfectionism way too far... which honestly took a massive toll on my self-esteem. I spent my whole life feeling like I wasn't pretty enough, or smart enough, or anything close to the version of me he demanded I become. He never once told me he loved me. So, yeah, I still think he could have handled certain things a hell of a lot better. But whatever, it is what it is.
And none of that gives me any guarantee that I’ll be a good parent, even though I truly want to be—and hope to be—a great mother.

The truth is, there are so many women out there dealing with this exact same thing, struggling with issues that clearly stem from their relationship with their fathers...
Patrick Brown45, thanks for the advice 🙂

It’s true, I’ve never been much for following that old cliché about wise people learning from others' mistakes while fools learn from their own. Personally, I’ve always been the type to take the hard way, stumbling through my own messes over and over again... 😁
What actually helped was finally facing the music and realizing there was a pattern, even if I haven't quite figured out how to fix my own behavior yet. I’m 28 now, and I recently had this crushing realization that my father didn't show me the affection I needed, which basically left me emotionally wrecked from puberty onwards. And the absolute worst part is knowing exactly how this plays out—that after I lose my boyfriend, I’ll find myself stuck in some pathetic situationship with some jerk who doesn't give a damn about me, and I won't have any clue how to break out of that cycle. It’s exactly where I ended up before I finally got serious with my current partner. I am fully aware of every single consequence, but honestly... it doesn't make it any easier.

Listen, honey, I know this feeling all too well because I’ve lived through it myself—and honestly, I’m still working my way out of it. I’ll just echo what someone else already said more bluntly: you need to look at your relationship with your father to find the root of this. My own dad is one of those incredibly rigid, old-school types who either doesn't know how to show affection or simply refuses to, so my entire life has been defined by this heavy emotional distance... I eventually realized I was stuck in this repetitive, exhausting cycle where I spent my whole life chasing after total jerks who treated me exactly the way my father did. I recently sat down with a therapist who finally pulled back the curtain and opened my eyes to the truth.
I know exactly what you're going through; I've been right there in that dark place, feeling nothing but self-loathing. I have an absolutely wonderful, amazing boyfriend right by my side, yet I find myself staring at some complete idiot who will never treat me with respect, someone who makes me feel completely unloved... I don't have a magic solution for this, unfortunately, and it probably boils down to a massive hit to one's self-esteem, but realizing that the core issue lies with my father has been a game-changer. It helped me see why I constantly fall for emotionally unavailable people—even when it goes against everything I know to be true, even against my own common sense and sanity—knowing that these relationships will never actually make me happy. It might sound a bit silly to some, but I am seriously considering booking more sessions with my psychologist to figure out how to break free from this loop... maybe you should consider doing the same?

Honestly, I’m right there with you on this one. I’ve dealt with leg and foot cramps my entire life, and it’s just such a constant, nagging nuisance. I take magnesium supplements regularly, which offers some minor relief, but nothing groundbreaking... It used to be that I’d wake up in the middle of the night gripped by intense spasms, though lately, it mostly hits me during workouts. If anyone has any other suggestions or effective remedies, I’m all ears... 🙂

Dear fellow forum members, I have a question for you all...🙂

Here is the situation—my boyfriend suffered a broken leg last September, specifically a crushed heel bone. After undergoing major surgery, followed by several weeks at a rehabilitation center, intensive physical therapy, and learning to walk on crutches... it has already been six months, yet he is still in constant pain. He’s honestly terrified that he might be stuck on crutches forever; he is still attending therapy sessions and dealing with persistent discomfort...
If anyone here has dealt with something similar, please, let me know... or if you have any advice regarding treatment or next steps... we are both incredibly worried, and as time slips away, his recovery just doesn't seem to be progressing toward a full return to normal...😢

thanks🙂