Posts by Raymond Fisher2

ex anais;29992897 said:

Not sure if you’re working or still in school, but if you’re hitting the books, you can get help through the campus counseling center. Also, maybe check if there’s another psych or therapist on staff at the hospital.

I was working until a few months ago, but obviously I was redundant so now I'm just out of a job.

Hitting the gym isn't how you fix this kind of rage. Honestly, it might even make things worse because being in peak physical shape won't magically blow off trauma. "A healthy body leads to a healthy mind" is a fine slogan, but in this case, it's totally overrated.
Meds aren't a magic bullet, but sometimes they're necessary so people don't hurt themselves or anyone else—especially when we're talking about uncontrolled outbursts. That's high-risk territory. The OP seems pretty self-aware about their emotions, which is huge. Getting into therapy ASAP will probably speed up progress since they actually recognize what's happening.

Smashing plates, screaming, and acting aggressive isn't a valid response to someone else's abuse. It's abnormal behavior that needs psychiatric attention. Look, a victim of verbal or physical abuse isn't responsible for their own reactions, but learning how to manage those reactions takes a ton of therapy sessions. You don't just wake up one day "cool" unless you're just suppressing everything—which is clearly what happened here, causing these explosions. And smashing dishes won't fix suppression, and smashing a person definitely won't help... where does it stop?

Some of what you wrote is spot on—reactions have to go somewhere—but they shouldn't be this wild and out of control. That’s what therapy is for. Otherwise, you just end up more frustrated and powerless. Screaming doesn't even always help; it's more about your internal mindset. Sometimes screaming is just a sign of pure helplessness.

As for that other part, I'm no expert, so I can't say for sure if it's right or wrong.

You just need someone upbeat to talk to 😁
Like anyone, maybe some movie buff or something. Someone you actually vibe with.

Not everyone is a total loser. Look how many people responded to you. At least take that win, if nothing else.😁

If you don't want to live, just end it. We're all dying anyway, so why bother putting in the effort?

Try doing origami or something relaxing... knitting, or go hang out in a field and watch sheep. That works. 🙂

Morgan Bishop4 said:hmm... yeah, I totally get where you're coming from with the whole brother situation. I've been like that with my sister my entire life. There was even one moment where I seriously considered pushing her off the balcony, but thankfully I didn't... :/
but hey, who knows, maybe it actually shaped me for the better, since it taught me how to stand my ground🤷
and I think you just need to find a way to channel all that energy somewhere where nobody gets hurt, and then everything might turn out fine. You into sports or anything like that?
I know someone else who loses their cool super easily and has all this pent-up energy, and they tend to snap and do things they don't even mean, but they stay busy with different sports to blow off steam. :/ I think the absolute worst thing you can do is just sit there letting the rage build up inside you. For me, drawing, writing, or just messing around with art or music helps clear my head...

Morgan Bishop4 said:

Kate Peterson2 said:Man, this is absolutely wild. I seriously can't believe it—I finally found someone who’s basically my twin. So, you just want to watch the whole world go up in flames, huh? Hahahhahaha (total Joker vibes here). Honestly, I was exactly where you are about seven years ago. Just thinking back to all that rage simmering inside me... ugh, gives me the chills. Back in high school, I felt like I wanted to crawl out of my own skin every single day, just tear it off alive. And yeah, the urge to hit things was there, but I wasn't punching concrete walls; I was smashing lamps and furniture, which pretty much trashed my room. Eventually, I pivoted to stuff that didn't break things—push-ups, sit-ups, and every year I'd spend splitting massive loads of firewood, running, and going on miles and miles of walks. I don't know what specifically set you off, but for me, it was all the stuff I kept bottled up. I just stayed quiet and took everything, until this one thing happened back in '98, but I'm not gonna go there. Then in '03, I almost died in a logging accident along with some other guys. I was the only one who walked away with nothing more than a few scratches—not even worth a Band-Aid. When I went back to school, nobody gave a damn, even though they'd heard about the accident. That daily feeling of being ignored, people laughing, acting like you're just some ant that doesn't matter... ugh, just remembering that fury makes me feel like I'm burning up. And the dreams? Man, I swear they were intense enough to shame Quentin Tarantino. I even got into a scrap with this one guy once; I saw stars right then and there. He was one of those "cool" funny types, hahahha, but I actually terrified him. It wasn't a big deal after, though; I calmed down eventually. As the years passed, I started finding my peace through meditation, working out, and just getting used to life. Now, I can honestly say I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I've never had a girlfriend and probably never will, because I just don't have the right hardware. Everyone else seems to be running on an AMD Athlon or a Pentium 4, while I'm still stuck on a 486. As for being ugly? Man, I got over that. It actually works in my favor sometimes; guys hesitate twice before trying to pick a fight with me, and girls just cross the street, hahahahha, that always cracks me up. I've also made peace with the fact that people who aren't even half as smart as me, yet managed to graduate from college, are making way more money than I am. But hey, I'm a college dropout, and that's fine. Nothing lasts forever, right?

boldwalker12 said:Side effects from antidepressants are usually short-lived, though they can change depending on which one you're on. For instance, someone might absolutely hate Prozac but find that Zoloft works wonders, or vice versa. Anxiolytics help manage the symptoms, but antidepressants are better at tackling the root issue.

Since I don't know your specific diagnosis or why you were prescribed Lithium—which, from what I've heard, can pretty much numb you out—my best advice is to probably find a different doctor. Honestly, you'd be better off seeing a psychotherapist who can set up weekly sessions. That’s really the gold standard for actually facing whatever is eating at you while working on tapering off the meds. Real medication combined with solid therapy is incredibly effective, and I truly think it would make a massive difference for you. Getting ten minutes of attention once a week isn't nearly enough; you need 45-minute sessions where the doc isn't doing all the talking, but instead guiding you to open up about your problems or whatever situation is stressing you out.

Whatever you do, don't just stop taking your pills on your own whim. The withdrawal side effects are nasty, and the rebound effect on your mental state can be even worse. Just go get a second opinion from another doctor.

boldwalker12 said:Do you have any actual clue what happens when someone just stops taking their medication? Do you realize that one of the potential consequences could literally be suicide? Seriously, go watch a documentary on the subject. ☕
Medication alone isn't going to magically fix the author, but telling someone facing these issues to just toss their meds is straight-up idiotic. Just because you think your buddies on meds are basically zombies doesn't give you the right to drop pearls of wisdom like this. Have you even stopped to consider what life might look like for them *without* that support? Or does that not cross your mind? Also, I’m assuming terms like social phobia or depression are completely foreign to you, otherwise you wouldn't have blurted out that nonsensical idea that meds shouldn't be taken because they "mess with socialization." Oh yeah, sure—because before the meds kicked in, everything was just sunshine and rainbows and everyone was throwing huge parties. ☕

Amy Grant45 said:How old are you, and what's your current situation regarding work? Do you honestly feel like things might be a bit easier for you if I decided to move out and get my own place away from my family?

Morgan Bishop4;29917979 said:

Ružni;29910926 said:

1. How do you make peace with stuff? It's simple. You just look in the mirror and decide—am I a loser? Fine. Or maybe I'm not that bad. Or maybe I'm actually decent. Whatever. 🤷
There’s nothing to change unless you're heading to a surgeon in Beverly Hills. But honestly, your mental state shows on your face. If you're happy and actually smiling, people are gonna think you look better than if you're scowling and acting like life is trash.
Who else can you be with? You looking for a girl? Or what? You can hang with whoever you want, you're just the one building these unnecessary walls. Any person in this life can get pretty much whatever they want if they stop tripping over themselves.
2. You don't need to throw a tantrum, but if you actually know someone, tell them straight up: "Hey, you're being a jerk because of X or Y." You can say it to anyone. People act differently when you call them out on things that bother you or feel insulting. Some people will stay trash, sure, but most folks have some level of empathy. You can't expect people to read your mind and know exactly what you need or if you're offended in the moment. Sometimes you won't even catch a joke if it isn't meant to be serious. 🤷
3. For the second part, quit overthinking and just get to work, man! Your problems aren't gonna fix themselves while you sit there whining, feeling sorry for yourself and blaming the world for being cruel or saying you were born this way. Everyone has to learn how to fight their own battles. If you have goals (and you do), start moving toward them instead of moping in a corner.

4. Hmm... if you had an older brother, you probably should've learned how to stand up for yourself back then. I mean, were you guys really that close that you never once stood your ground?
And as for what other people think—how many people are we talking about here who called you an idiot?
I bet they aren't saying it to your face every five minutes. And you're only an idiot if YOU believe them. Don't be an idiot, man. People said all kinds of crap to me too, and half of it wasn't even true.

🤷

We never got along, period. Mostly because he was older and always used to beat me up and keep me away from my friends. I won't go into detail about how I fought back, but let's just say I once pulled a knife on him because I was sick of getting hit for no reason...
It's not happening constantly, but if the people who are supposed to love you—family, parents, brothers...—think that way, then it's a real problem. And it's happened enough times that it's definitely a thing...

ambermason16;29910603 said:

What's with the translation? 😁

The translation is there because I know plenty of people in the US don't actually speak good English or can't read it at all.

To me, this feels a bit like Old Yeller... just pure trolling.

btw. how do you cut around the veins?

You cut around the veins by squeezing your fist maybe 20 times until all the main ones pop out, then you slice lengthwise between them (if you want, I can send pics of my hands so you can see).

Morgan Bishop4;29910576 said:

I know people who are straight-up gross, like genuinely repulsive, but they’re totally fine with it. They couldn't care less that they aren't easy on the eyes or whatever. Honestly, you have to decide for yourself how attractive or approachable you want to be before anyone else is going to see you that way. It's like those girls with anorexia who think they're massive when they're actually skin and bones. Or you've got these gorgeous people walking around thinking they look like trash. I'm not saying you can't be ugly as hell—look, if you're a disaster, you're a disaster—but just own it and move on. Whatever. Just deal with it.

How do you even wrap your head around that? Like, how do you just deal with it? And honestly, is it even possible to actually find someone at this point? I don't know, man. I’m really not so sure myself.

Look, stop being so quiet all the time. Seriously. That’s probably exactly why you’re such a ticking time bomb of repressed rage. You can't just sit there and bottle everything up inside. I'm not saying you need to go out and commit a felony or anything... but man, you've gotta let it out when someone screws you over. Fight back. Shout. Have a meltdown. Cry. Throw a punch if that's what it takes. Anything is better than letting all that anger just rot inside you until you snap. 🤷 Look, sometimes you just gotta bite your tongue. I get it. But if someone actually crosses the line and hurts you? Don't just sit there taking it. Don't let them walk all over you. Stand up for yourself.

I don't know, man. I just can't be bothered with all the fighting and making a scene. It’s embarrassing. Honestly, I hate it.

Look, you can find friends and a girlfriend. It’s not impossible. But you actually have to start working on yourself, because with that "everything sucks" attitude you're carrying around, you’re never going to get anything you want out of life. I’d suggest watching *The Secret*. Yeah, okay, there's a lot of crap in that movie, but there’s a kernel of truth there. Positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes. Period. Man, you are just completely broken inside and you need to start making small changes. Start by actually liking yourself. Seriously. Grab a piece of paper and write down some things you're good at—find something decent or even just okay about yourself. Don't give me that "I have nothing" garbage. If you really think you're that worthless, go ask your mom or your grandma or whatever; they'll tell you otherwise. Look, man, you aren't Hitler. Get it together.

Never heard of that flick, but I'll probably track it down and give it a watch. As for the sequel, though? Man, I'm gonna need some serious time to think about that one...

Yeah, well, people laughed at me when I was heading to school too. I’d end up crying, then they’d just laugh even harder because I was crying... total cycle. But whatever. Eventually, you pick stuff up. You learn how the world works. It is what it is.
You guys got siblings or what? I don't know, man, I've been at war with my sister my entire life, so I guess that’s why I had to learn how to scrap a little harder. Used to be one of those people where everything was just fine—whatever you wanted, you got, I’d just play nice and let people walk all over me. But honestly, I finally grew a pair. It just kind of happens to you, I guess. Life hits you and you wake up.
Anyway, hope that actually helps. Look, don't go expecting miracles from yourself or anyone else, let's be real. But man, if you just put in some actual work on loving yourself, everything changes. You'll feel better, and honestly? People will start treating you differently almost immediately. It’s that simple. 😁
Sometimes you just gotta do exactly what you want, period. No apologies, no second-guessing, just straight up doing your thing regardless of who's watching or what people think. Obviously, don't go out and murder someone or anything—that's a bad look—but other than that? Just live. Enjoy yourself. It's not that deep.
I don't know, man. Does what everyone else thinks actually matter that much to you?

I've got an older brother. Honestly, I care way more about what everyone else thinks than what I think. If a hundred people tell me I’m a complete idiot, then yeah, I probably am. Or something like that.

Morgan Bishop4 said:Look, we all know the world we’re living in is pretty much a dumpster fire, and let's be real, America can feel like a total disaster sometimes...
but even so, we’re all still stuck in this mess together, trying to find those little moments that don't suck. It's not like everything surrounding you is garbage and every single person you run into is a piece of work.
sure, you've got maniacs, corruption, wars, assaults, and all that dark stuff out there...
but at the exact same time, there are massive groups of people out there helping strangers for absolutely nothing in return, and then there are just regular folks who are actually friends and hang out just because, or families and couples who actually give a damn about each other...
so, why don't you love yourself? what's the deal? are you actually a bad person or something?
and honestly, why do you hate everyone else so much? what did they ever do to you?
do you even like nature? go outside for a bit, watch a sunrise, stare at the clouds, look at the animals and the trees, and just listen to the wind in the leaves. if you can't see the beauty in the world after doing that, then I guess you're just beyond help...

cloud333;29899794 said:

1. Toss those pills in the trash, they’ll probably just mess with your head even more.

Not sure if that's actually smart...

2. Stop hating on yourself and everyone else.

That part is impossible. Not because I won't, but because every single person I've run into in my life has been total garbage to me, even when there was zero reason for them to be. So, yeah, I don't believe that's happening. Maybe I can manage to not hate myself, but hating others? Hard pass.

3. Watch the movie Donnie Darko—based on your description, you remind me of a much worse version of him.

Why would you think I haven't seen it already? No offense, but I'm a massive cinephile and I've definitely watched way more movies than you have.

4. Go do something productive and be useful to yourself and others instead of obsessing over the meaning of your existence.

Like what, exactly? What even counts as "productive" these days... grinding for 10-12 hours a day just so some shitty CEO can buy a yacht and a BMW Series 7 while he talks down to you about how he can't afford to pay your salary... or were you thinking of something else?

I bet most of these points (besides the third one) are either super hard or basically impossible for you to pull off, but whatever.

Instead of punching concrete, sign up for some martial arts or buy a heavy bag so you can vent all that rage and stress. Swap the self-harm for some intense physical labor (like chopping wood) until you're dead tired—that'll make you feel alive, however contradictory that sounds right now.

Yeah, I signed up, but hitting a bag isn't the same as hitting concrete.
(I much prefer the concrete because it's harder and the hits hurt way more. Plus, people at the gym called me a psycho a couple times because of how I was "getting into it" with the bag... anyway, enough about that.)

Look in the mirror and draw a smile on yourself like the Joker. And then smile. 🙂 Just don't forget to wipe off the drawn-on grin before you head out.

Actually laughed reading that part, though I don't really get why I'd need to wipe it off before going outside?

Quote:
Find something you actually give a damn about—anything. Just stick to it.

Maybe you’ll eventually learn to like yourself. And for God's sake, quit obsessing over your "purpose." That is hands down the most moronic thing a person can waste time on. There isn't some profound answer waiting for you.

Maybe it is moronic, but look—when you hate your own skin, everyone around you notices. They'll tear you apart constantly, whether they know you or not. It doesn't matter if you work twice as hard as anyone else at your job; people will still trash you. But the second you mess up one single thing? Everyone talks about it for years. Meanwhile, those other "coworkers" screw up every single day and nobody gives them a second thought. It's ridiculous.

You're here. In this beautiful world. Try to enjoy it, even when it feels like total garbage.

Yeah, I'm here, fine. But that doesn't mean I wanted to be, or that I asked to be born in the first place (not like I had a choice, right?). And calling this a "beautiful world"? Honestly, that's kind of a joke. How is it beautiful when it's just people grinding each other down so billionaires can get even richer? Or all the abuse, assault, and violence that happens every single day? To me, that doesn't look like a pretty picture. (No offense intended, just my take.)

Everyone feels it... we all have those moments where we wonder why we're even here or what our role is. And when we can't find the answer, we just want to vanish.

Can't speak to that. I don't know anyone and I don't like anyone, so I wouldn't know.

I think everyone has a part to play in this life, whether it's huge or totally insignificant. All you can do is try to push your potential to the limit.

Sure, maybe. But maybe someone's "role" is just to suffer endlessly until they finally hit the breaking point. As for "potential"—that sounds like something that actually works for people. For me? Nothing works. And if anything does, I don't even know what it is, and I seriously doubt I'll ever figure it out.

boldwalker12 said:Seriously, what makes you think a fistful of meds is enough? Like, why do you act like pills are the only actual solution out there? 😕

Edward Murphy4 said:Is this person just popping a handful of pills every day on their own whim?🤷
Because I have no clue who exactly they're blaming for this whole "handful of pills" thing...😲

Edward Murphy4 said:So, you think you're talking about yourself?🤷

Honestly, I don't think this message board is the right place for this—you should probably be looking for a therapist's office instead.😛