23 posts shown.
Lawrence Allen49 said:Pretty interesting, lol. 😁
I don't know. There could be a lot of things at play here. Maybe you have this specific image of yourself that just ends up sabotaging everything during the process? Or maybe it’s aggression, insecurity, fear, or being way too cocky? Could be overreaching, too... or maybe just running away from commitment. Something like that. 🙂
We're all just figuring it out as we move along. Constant learners, I guess. 😉
So, I’m wondering what exactly you mean by "your patterns." Here's the thing: we just manifest whatever we've been programmed to believe. If you want to be different, you actually have to learn something new. Period. If you're serious about changing who you are, the most effective move is usually forcing a change in your environment. Shake things up. You can also try some light meditation or basic autosuggestion, but honestly? Changing your surroundings usually does the heavy lifting.
You can pretty much spot your own communication flaws just by talking to people. It’s obvious once you start paying attention. You just need a bit of practice, then it becomes second nature. No big deal. 🙂
I don't even know which exact behavioral patterns I'm repeating, but I have issues with relationships in general... and I don't know how to change them. It's really hard for me to be "honest" when talking to people; I feel like I've built up a million walls and defense mechanisms... for example: the last guy I met surprised me by asking me out for coffee, and I went full paranoid and terrified, putting on a whole circus at that coffee date—making jokes, being goofy, cracking one-liners... I made him uncomfortable, couldn't focus on what he was saying, so I just ended up dominating the conversation ☕
...I don't know how to change my environment. I know I need to work on myself a lot, but I have no clue how or where to start... I feel like I'm carrying a million pounds of emotional baggage on my back... 🤷
Amy Castillo8 said:I honestly burst out laughing when I read this...
Honey, that isn't an issue. It is simply the reality of living in a world full of foolish men.😁
No, jokes aside. Perhaps the issue is that you attempt to secure a commitment too quickly. You give everything away too soon. Once they feel they have fully conquered you, they flee.
Your comment about waiting until you see that a man "likes" you suggests something else. Are you perhaps projecting an air of desperation? Do they run because they feel trapped?
And then there is the matter of being intoxicated. What kind of sane man would look for a serious partner after meeting someone while drunk? You are looking for romance in all the wrong places.
The thing is, I don't go out specifically to find a boyfriend. I go out to have fun and unwind after a long work week. But you hit the nail on the head when you said I attach myself to people way too fast... it keeps happening. I realized I don't even stop to think if I actually like them or not. It's not always like this—sometimes I stay in for ages—but lately, I've been out so much I haven't slept properly in months. Why am I doing this? I don't know. And is it possible that being this hungry for romance actually smothers the relationship before it can even start?🤷
Hey everyone. Sorry in advance if I just end up rambling endlessly here.
I’m starting this thread because I want to figure out my own patterns. I know I have them, but I don't quite get them yet. Basically, I keep getting into relationships with guys that end in total disaster. It hit me the other day that my last three romantic flings were practically carbon copies of each other: we meet up (usually out at a bar when everyone's had a few drinks), he’s totally into me, calls me constantly, asks me out for coffee, pulls all these sweet surprises and buys gifts. But once I actually get attached? He just vanishes. No calls, no texts, zero interest. Now I'm stuck wondering what I'm doing wrong. Am I taking things too seriously, or am I just incapable of keeping someone interested? What does psychology say about this? What are your experiences? Sometimes I feel like I "cling" to a guy, even though I'm never the one chasing or being annoying—it's just that once I realize he likes me, I'm hooked. Is the issue that I'm meeting these guys while we're all tipsy at a club, or is it just me? My personality? That desperate need to be liked that makes me lose my footing? The last guy was so obvious about wanting me—coffee dates, texting, the whole bit... and then nothing. Just ghosted.😕
So, anyone else dealt with this? Any advice on how to break these cycles we've basically programmed ourselves into?🤷