quietgull75 said:Yeah, tell me about it. I try to joke around, but it’s tough—people always tell me I’m way too serious (even when I'm not actually in a bad mood, just... intense). I try to play along, but I just can't find the rhythm, so I mostly just stay quiet. And if there are a bunch of strangers around? Forget it—I get even more on edge.
I wouldn't call myself depressed, because honestly, it feels wrong to use that word when there are people out there dealing with actual clinical depression. But reading your post, I totally get it—not every social scene or environment is going to click with you every single time. Leaving an event early without making a big deal out of it doesn't mean anything is "wrong" with you; it just means you're honest. You're basically just signaling that you aren't feeling the vibe. I bet at least 40% of the people in those rooms feel the same way, they just force themselves to stay and pretend they're having fun...
Maybe you just haven't found your "thing" yet. Just a theory, but maybe you're more of a nature person—like, heading out to a trail or just chilling in a field somewhere. Why should grabbing coffee, hitting a concert, or some other typical social outing be the benchmark for whether you're having a good time or not?
Society pushes these specific ways of "having fun" on us so hard that we don't even realize what actually makes us happy until we take the time to look. You know? There are so many different settings and experiences that we can't even imagine because of all the social rules and conventions we're expected to follow, even though the simple stuff is right there...
I don't know if you have a formal diagnosis or anything, but I think a lot of us just fall into that low-energy, "depressive" state sometimes, and it's really not a big deal. We aren't broken or different from anyone else; it's just harder to find our place when we don't fit into those standard social boxes...