casualpilot13 said:It’s not that I feel undeserving, but sometimes it’s just heavy—seeing how much my anxiety impacts him and his life. His world has changed because of me. And honestly? That weighs on me.
I also feel for my parents and my sister. They want to step in and help so badly, but they don't know how—they can't. It hurts to see them saddened by seeing me this way, knowing there's nothing they can do to fix it.
I think part of their pain comes from the fact that they don't truly grasp what this is like. They say they understand, but they don't—not really. They try, they talk to me about it, but they still can't wrap their heads around the reality of being unable to function simply because I'm spinning out—feeling physically sick to my stomach, or feeling like my heart is going to burst out of my chest. There's no physical cause for it, which makes it harder to explain. I don't blame them, though; I doubt I could ever fully grasp it if the roles were reversed.
Anyway, I've gone on a bit of a rant here 😁. It isn't about not deserving love—it's just hard to watch the ripple effect my condition has on the people I care about.
Hey everyone, I'm new here! Honestly, I am just so fed up with this entire situation, and I sign everything you just said! I can't even tell anymore if I'm having a bad day because of my own internal struggles, or if it's because the guilt is eating me alive—knowing all the people around me are suffering because of my condition and there's absolutely nothing I can do to change it! Most days, I just want to run away from myself, but there's nowhere to go.