Posts by Dennis Wilson9

Amy Castillo8 said:Well, you strike me as an intelligent individual,

Is the issue perhaps a struggle to accept that total control is an illusion? Could you try to relax just a little? Life shouldn't be taken quite so solemnly.

One more thing: life is fleeting. Your youth will slip away before you know it. If you spend your days retreating into a corner and blaming yourself for everything, you won't truly live. It is a simple truth.

Therefore, keep your chin up and move forward with optimism. 🙂))

I know exactly what the problem is! I honestly can't seem to relax or accept that certain things are just out of my hands. But, I guess, I am working on myself, so maybe it'll click eventually.. 🙂
What actually worries me more is that I wasn't even like this before—I've changed so much, though I suppose it's probably normal... Just one of those phases you go through in life..

I have friends—some of them are really close—and of course, I’ve talked to them about all of this, and they’ve been a huge help. I’m genuinely grateful for them because, honestly, I don't know where I'd be without them. When I'm hanging out with them or just talking, I feel alright; they encourage me and help pull me back when my thoughts start drifting off in the wrong direction🙂 Quincy I'm not in constant contact with them, though... And when I'm not... everything just reverts to how it was before. My thoughts, all of it...

Maybe enough time hasn't actually passed yet for me to fully recover🤷

But I'm posting here and looking for advice because I'm terrified that I might never actually get better😢

Anyway, my ex—who I happen to work with now🙂—we were together for about two years, and the whole relationship was just... a mess. He has his "issues" and a pretty chaotic life, and I was right there by his side, trying to help him, pushing him to fix things, trying to make everything okay so we could move forward... But we didn't. In the end, he just stopped reaching out. So I'm left feeling disappointed. It's not even that I'm angry because I lost the love of my life or whatever cliché stuff people say, it's just pure disappointment... I put in all that effort for nothing; it feels like such a waste of time...

And now, I'm fine, I guess. I'm not crying, I'm not whining, I'm not depressed, but nothing just seems to have any point anymore... Don't get me wrong, it's not that life lacks meaning without him😂, it's more that I can't find the motivation to try at anything, like it's as if nothing I do will ever actually matter properly...

Actually, no—nothing truly terrible or ugly ever happened to me in the past. My life was actually pretty great, everything was just fine... and things always seemed to go smoothly, too. It was almost like this pattern where I’d try hard, stay a good person, act with integrity, and eventually get what I deserved. Everything was fine until that relationship and that one specific thing that just... completely broke me.

I honestly feel like a horrible person because I can't stop thinking that I'm the center of the universe and that I'm responsible for everything. For all the bad stuff, basically 🙂. I just find myself spiraling into these thoughts—that I should have done this, or that if I had been more of this or that... I should emphasize that lately, this has been happening more often than not...

So, I went looking for some professional help, and they actually had the nerve to tell me I'm just spoiled 🙂🙂

I am absolutely refusing any kind of "help" like that ☕

Anyway, does anyone actually have a recommendation for a different kind of support?

Hey everyone.

I’m not entirely sure if this is the right place for this kind of thing, so please feel free to point me toward a better sub or just offer some guidance if you can.

After wasting a lot of energy on a past relationship and dealing with a pretty brutal breakup, I’ve undergone this massive shift—and honestly, I thought it was an upward trajectory. I won't bore you guys with the details of my ex or the relationship itself, but let's just say I've basically been tearing myself apart here in the States. 😉

Basically, I’ve moved on. I cried all I needed to cry, processed the loss, and eventually got over him... or so I thought. But as a person, I've changed in ways that feel unsettling. I've become incredibly self-critical and hyper-sensitive; I carry this crushing weight of guilt regardless of what I actually do. I'm constantly picking myself apart, and I just can't seem to relax. Not to mention, my sense of ego and self-esteem—which I used to have—seems to have vanished into thin air. 🤷 Who knows where they went?

On paper, life is fine. I work, I hang out with friends, I have good people in my corner, I exercise, I travel... things are okay. But the second anything goes wrong—even if it’s something minor—I immediately turn the blame inward. It triggers this flood of dark thoughts that spin into these elaborate, terrible narratives in my head. It spirals until I've convinced myself that everyone hates me, that everyone is gossiping about me, and that everything is my fault because I'm just a horrible person. Isn't that just wonderful?

Has anyone else dealt with something similar? How does one even start to help themselves through this?

Thanks...