Posts by William Evans10

driftinggull21 said:

So... do you know anything about that diagnosis? Or does anyone else here? It’s RESIDUAL SCHIZOPHRENIA. I don't believe anyone on this forum has it (though I could be wrong, I haven't noticed anyone specifically), but if anyone knows something about it or knows someone living with this diagnosis?

Residual schizophrenia is characterized primarily by "negative symptoms": apathy, sparse communication, social withdrawal, emotional blunting, a lack of interest in one's surroundings, an inability to express emotions, loss of pleasure, and an inability to work.
Would those symptoms apply to her?

It’s exactly everything you just listed... it's happening to her right now. And on top of all that... she doesn't care about herself or basic hygiene at all. It's just cigarettes, cigarettes, cigarettes.

And to top it all off, the medical report states: "Given her age and the nature of these disturbances, the prognosis is poor."

Is there ever any hope for improvement? Because the doctor's words aren't exactly encouraging, and they leave me feeling pretty hopeless. Based on what he said, I feel like I can only wait for the day she becomes completely bedridden and loses all touch with reality.

Because nothing interests her anymore. She doesn't even want to talk. She just wants to lie there.
She lives with us, but her condition hasn't changed one bit. If I ask her to do something simple, like take a shower, she won't do it... I literally have to command her to do it.

The doctor mentioned that while her current medication should keep the illness under control, hallucinations could still emerge... and honestly, he admitted he doesn't even know for sure.

Is there really no cure? No hope?

fadedlynx96 said:It is true that there is an overwhelming amount of research and academic papers regarding mental illness, yet the conclusions are constantly at odds. Determining what applies to your specific situation is incredibly difficult. I spent an entire month reading everything I could find just to try and weigh the options. Calculating the probabilities isn't a simple matter of basic math; you have to sift through endless conflicting studies and somehow attempt to synthesize it all into something coherent.

Even today, American psychiatry relies heavily on a trial-and-error approach with various medications, hoping something finally sticks. Just because a treatment works for one person doesn't mean it will work for you.

I think I got lucky in my case. They were actually planning to discharge me as an incurable case before they gave me that last medication that finally worked. Whether the medicine was the savior or the illness simply receded is a question that will never be answered. If I had suffered another episode within the next six months, I have no idea what they would have done. They didn't have any other options left to give.

I cannot recall if I wrote this here or somewhere else, but later this year will mark exactly twenty years since my first hospitalization. I am not sure why I chose twenty years as my benchmark, but if I go two decades without a relapse, I consider myself cured. Any subsequent episode would be entirely unrelated to the first. Then again, I am prepared to cheat if anything happens in the coming months. I might just wait until I see the doctor or miscalculate the dates so I can claim twenty years passed yesterday or today. Whatever, everyone needs their little delusions.

I am so glad things turned out well in your case... and that you are doing okay 🙂. Especially considering how much time has passed while you've remained stable... whether it's 18, 19, or 20 years doesn't matter... what matters is that you are functioning...🙂 Plus, you have such great motivation in your life... your kids...

I agree with everything you wrote above... I don't really have much to add... I feel like I've already said plenty... maybe I'm being a bit much already... hehe 🙂

Anyway, I just wanted to ask (if it's not a secret, of course) what kind of therapy you are prescribed?

My mother-in-law takes John Doe (Zyprexa) and Faverin.

And one more thing.... on the most recent report, the doctor wrote: "In my opinion, it is necessary to revise the diagnosis to F 20.05"

So... do you know anything about that diagnosis? Or maybe someone else does? That is RESIDUAL SCHIZOPHRENIA.... I don't believe anyone here has it (maybe I'm wrong, but I haven't noticed anyone with it), but if anyone knows anything about it, or knows someone who has this diagnosis?

There isn't much about it online...

Thank you.....

fadedlynx96 said:Look, the advantage of the internet is that you can find any article you need quickly and easily.

I spent about a month visiting libraries in Chicago searching for the specific articles I needed, most of which are probably the exact same ones available online now.

And not all research covers the same topic or yields the same results; findings are often contradictory, making it difficult to determine which ones hold weight and which do not. I spent another month reading through everything I gathered just to arrive at something actionable, and within a day or two, I calculated the probability that my brother and sister would face issues. Not a single psychiatrist agreed with my calculations, simply because I am not a doctor, even though it was pure mathematics—a discipline I thought I was failing at until I became the top student in my class year after year at university. Regardless, nobody took it seriously; I couldn't calculate that my sister would attempt suicide (perhaps I could have if I had spent more time on it), but what I did calculate certainly wasn't positive.

I looked into schizophrenia a little today, remembering that twenty years ago, the causes were largely unknown.

Nowadays, it is perhaps thought to be a hereditary condition influenced by the environment, though I am not certain. Again, this 5% or 10% increased probability of transmission mentioned in studies from Sweden is negligible; even measuring a 5% or 10% shift is difficult. To me, that sounds more like confirmation that the disease isn't hereditary. I am not a doctor, of course, and they will dismiss my conclusions, and if I'm unlucky, they'll just think I'm ill myself.

I remember that until quite recently—perhaps even now—there were ideas that schizophrenia should be abandoned as a diagnosis because too many different illnesses fall under its umbrella, suggesting they could all be categorized under different names. Yet, the term is still used, encompassing five or more subtypes plus simple, undefined cases.

I am going to take my Daughter to another doctor to see what they say, but I know the problem exists; the only question is the diagnosis.

She attempted suicide when she was only seven years old, which certainly doesn't support the idea that everything is fine with her. I simply thought I had a few more years before the first diagnosis would be made.

I don't know, it all feels somewhat pointless to me. There is so little known. So little research is actually done. It's tragic... Doctors hand out a diagnosis, prescribe a regimen, and that's it. And since all these diagnoses are so similar, they often end up changing the diagnosis several times. No matter what you tell them, they don't know how to truly help, how to assist the patient. From their perspective, that's just the way it is, and nothing can be changed. There is no counseling, no support, no guidance on how to help the family manage someone with this condition. So what am I left with? Just trying to figure it out as best I can.

So much money is poured into weapons, while actual research and experiments that might actually save us are neglected... meanwhile, pharmaceutical companies rake in the profits from medications. People aren't getting the help they need. What happens to the people for whom none of the therapies work? Thank God there are people for whom these pills do help. But what about people like my mother-in-law, for whom they don't work? She suffers, and we all suffer right along with her.

These are heavy illnesses, and we know almost nothing about them. We don't even know for sure if they are hereditary.
I feel so sad and bitter about it all.

David Vaughn75 said:I've been struggling with it for 6 years.
Right now I'm between jobs, but I did manage to finish up some IT school in the meantime.

Look, if a person dealing with psychosis actually puts in the work on themselves, they can live a totally awesome life and do everything anyone else can do. 😉 I have a buddy with schizophrenia who’s got a solid full-time gig.

But what’s driving you? What was the spark? Where do you find that inner strength and willpower? Honestly, hats off to you—keep pushing forward just like that.🙂

fadedlynx96 said:I used to research schizophrenia twenty years ago using the old-fashioned method of scouring library stacks. I assume all that data is available on the internet now, though I haven't bothered to check.

The only thing I recall clearly is that schizophrenia isn't an inherited disease; perhaps a predisposition is passed down, but not the condition itself—though again, that was two decades ago.

I remember hearing something on the radio here in the US recently about researchers finding either genetic markers or brain similarities shared among five major psychiatric disorders—schizophrenia, bipolar, ADHD, and two others I can't quite name. That was the last I heard; it won't be in a textbook, but likely exists somewhere online.

Similarly, I heard today, probably here in America as well, that a young girl was cured of HIV. By definition, HIV is incurable, and that is a proven fact, yet they are claiming she is cured. In medicine, something is considered an absolute truth until someone proves otherwise.

My sister was the most well-adjusted person in our entire family. Everyone else is a difficult case, myself included, but she was perfectly fine. Even after she left a note, we can't reach a consensus on what drove her to suicide, and neither can the doctors.

My Daughter is nine, and my son is five. I had posted on the bipolar thread earlier because my checkup today went smoothly and everything seemed fine.

That sense of relief was ruined by the doctor telling me today that my Daughter is depressed. Now I am faced with a choice: I can find a hundred papers arguing that depression shouldn't be diagnosed in a nine-year-old, I can seek a second opinion from a doctor who insists everything is fine, or I can hunt for the best pediatric antidepressant.

She has had issues before. I knew a diagnosis was coming eventually, but I assumed I had another three or four years, maybe more. I don't; I need to act right now.

While other parents might worry about how to discuss sex with their children, for us, that is just a light introduction to much heavier topics like depression and suicide.

Finally, my diagnosis today was 296.7 (Bipolar I), which I compared to my discharge papers from Rib, where it was listed as 295.1 (Schizophrenia, hebephrenic type). The man at Rib insisted it was psychosis rather than schizophrenia, but the code says otherwise. Personally, I couldn't care less whether it's 295 or 296; my focus is on my children and what to expect from them. I know now that I should prepare for severe struggles, and anything less than that will be a profound relief.

I’ve been doing quite a bit of reading online lately. Honestly, though? It all feels a bit scattered to me. Just a whole lot of guesswork. One study says this, another study claims that—the truth is, nobody seems to have a definitive answer on any of it. But, from what I can gather... it appears a person is born with certain genetic markers in the brain that might be activated, or they might stay dormant. There are so many variables involved: lifestyle choices, alcohol consumption, drug use, and even psychological trauma. It can be passed down from grandparents to grandchildren, though that isn't a guarantee. Sometimes, you won't see the illness manifest in the first generation, yet it suddenly surfaces in the second. It’s unpredictable. A brother might develop it while his sister remains perfectly healthy, or vice versa. Even with identical twins, one could be affected while the other isn't. There is also the matter of adoption. Children adopted and raised away from biological parents who suffered from schizophrenia or bipolar disorder can still potentially develop these conditions within their foster environments. These two specific illnesses are very closely linked.

I recently stumbled upon a fascinating article regarding a massive longitudinal study conducted by a group of researchers over in Sweden. They tracked every single individual diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder across the country from 1973 all the way through 2003, cross-referencing that data with familial relationships among those affected. The findings are quite striking: children who have a parent living with schizophrenia face a 9.9% higher probability of developing the condition themselves. Furthermore, they carry a 5.2% increased risk of bipolar disorder compared to children whose parents were unaffected. Because of this deep connection, the researchers are arguing that we really ought to be studying both disorders in parallel rather than treating them as separate silos, as they seem to be fundamentally intertwined.

A person whose sibling has one of those two psychiatric conditions also faces an increased risk of developing both disorders themselves.

My son is still far too young for me to know anything for certain. All I can do is wait. But, of course, I worry, because the possibility is there.

So, I’ve come to the conclusion that in my mother-in-law's case—meaning her specific illness—multiple factors are at play. For starters, she had difficulties growing up and attended special education schools. She also survived meningitis as a child and dealt with epilepsy, which might have caused some minor brain damage. On top of that, she suffered a massive psychological trauma at age eight when her sister passed away. So, all of that combined likely played a huge role in triggering the gene she carried, which she inherited from her own mother.
It is possible that my husband (her son) also carries the gene, but perhaps it didn't manifest, or maybe his generation simply skipped over it. I don't know; I can only speculate and assume... the brain is such a complicated organ.

What truly keeps me up at night is my child. As for him, right now, I can't say anything about him other than that he is a happy, lively little boy. What worries me is an incident that happened last year in July. One morning, out of nowhere, he just collapsed, and we couldn't get him to wake up. He was only 10 months old then. Naturally, we rushed him to the hospital in a total panic. That same state recurred the second day while we were in the hospital. The doctors suspected a cerebral seizure (there wasn't any muscle twitching or oxygen loss, he was just unconscious). They also considered narcolepsy, but they ruled that out since his sleep patterns were perfectly normal and regular. They even looked into meningitis. We went through every test imaginable: brain CT scans, EEGs (four or five times), a lumbar puncture, and an echocardiogram. However, not a single result pointed toward any diagnosis. It has been eight months since then, and it hasn't happened again. But given the family medical history—specifically the fact that his grandmother survived epilepsy and meningitis and suffers from schizophrenia—it has sparked doubt and anxiety in me, my husband, and the doctors. In nine months, we are headed for an MRI, so we should finally know more. We are just praying for a clean scan.

Both you and I can only hope that our children stay healthy. There isn't much we can do to influence it. Regarding your daughter, my humble opinion is that you should seek a second opinion and take her to another doctor just to see what they think. You should consult with several specialists and perhaps even build connections if necessary. I sincerely hope and believe that a girl her age isn't suffering from depression. I am so incredibly sorry about your sister. I honestly don't know what to say to all of this; I'm at a loss for words...😢 What you need to do now is watch your children as closely as you possibly can and monitor everything they do; if something does happen, you have to react immediately.

Let's just hope they discover something new and that we end up knowing much more than we do now. If nothing else, at least for now, we can remain vigilant and stay informed about it all.

It doesn't really matter if it's F20, F23, F25... and so on. It's all closely linked and similar. Every one of these illnesses is difficult, both for the patient and for the family. That's why it's vital that if it is present, it's caught early so you can respond. That way, one can lead as normal a
life as possible. Also, something that really needs work is the education and support provided to families of those affected, because not everyone has access to the internet and not everyone knows how to handle this kind of "pressure." My husband and I will likely have to visit a psychiatrist or psychologist ourselves eventually, because unfortunately, there isn't anyone else to turn to for help and support. We live in a country where people with mental illnesses are exposed to stigma and prejudice from others, and that is precisely why I fear most for my son; no two people are the same, and none of us handle obstacles and judgments in the same way.

fadedlynx96 said:Here is my perspective, though I haven't studied schizophrenia extensively and things may have evolved. It used to be that the triggers were poorly understood beyond physical trauma or substance abuse, and while you can calculate hereditary risks through various studies found online, that risk generally stays well below fifty percent. Furthermore, even if the condition is inherited, it won't manifest as an exact replica of the parents' experience; schizophrenia presents in many forms, and it is highly unlikely for a son to inherit the exact same presentation as a parent.

Thirdly, if a diagnosis does occur, there isn't much recourse other than initiating treatment immediately, and ensuring the child avoids marijuana, which is one of the few proven triggers that can set the condition in motion.

I have two children and a heavy family history, though my primary focus has always been managing the risk of suicide, as my sister took her own life.

What kind of papers are available online? Generally speaking, is it possible that my husband carries the gene... but it just hasn't been activated? He didn't inherit it from her, even though his mother has it.

It is well known to me that marijuana, and drugs in general, can trigger mental illnesses regardless of whether someone has the genes or not.

I am so sorry about your sister. 😢

Was she ill as well? How old are your kids?

Sorry if those questions feel too personal; you don't have to answer them.

David Vaughn75 said:Look, if your son does get sick—which, most likely, won't happen until puberty or adolescence hits—the absolute most important thing is catching it early. If you jump on treatment immediately, there's a massive chance of recovery. But if someone stays untreated for years without help, their personality can fracture so deeply that medication might only be able to stabilize them, rather than bringing them back to a total "normal." In cases like mine, 😁, it becomes incredibly difficult to fully bounce back.

The real nightmare, honestly, is our society. People will just label anyone with psychosis as "crazy" and try to push them away like they're something to be avoided.

But at the end of the day, psychosis is just a disease like any other. Some people deal with diabetes, others with epilepsy, and some just have messed up neurotransmitters. Anyone living with psychosis can live a totally full, awesome life. The key is staying busy and engaged, because our brains aren't biologically designed to just sit idle.

Society poses a massive hurdle here. Mental health issues carry such heavy stigma, especially schizophrenia; people view those individuals as savages or dangerous threats to the community. In reality, they aren't any more violent than "normal" people. And besides, what even defines "normal" these days? Honestly... I am afraid for him. I fear that if he does fall ill, it will be difficult because he will always be under the microscope of public scrutiny. He will always be seen as "different," which is quite ugly, and no one will want to hire him. Even in America, just the act of visiting a psychiatrist or psychologist feels daunting because people still hold onto that outdated notion that only "lunatics" seek professional help. But... that is just how it is. I cannot change the world. Right now, he is just a little boy of eighteen months old... and... I will have to see if the illness manifests, and then decide on the next steps. Perhaps certain things might change over time.

Where are you employed? How long have you been dealing with this?

David Vaughn75 said:Any predisposition to psychosis is hereditary—it’s just that sometimes those genes don't actually trigger in certain generations.

And out of those 28 years, how much of that time has she actually been on medication?

Oh goodness... I am not entirely certain. It has been an inconsistent struggle with this illness for a lifetime... She would take them for a month, then stop for three months. That was the general pattern. She never truly viewed herself as ill, merely "different"... Her mother even struggled with her until the poor woman passed away. That was roughly 10 years ago. Since then, her father didn't worry much about the pills. Now, both he and I are gone—well, he is deceased. Ever since I joined the family, I have taken on most of the responsibility for her care. She has been on continuous therapy for about two years now. Sadly, the illness has mostly been neglected.

As for the genetics, my mother-in-law's grandmother—who was also ill—was apparently suffering from a type of psychosis as well, based on everything I’ve gathered. Her condition was even more severe because she struggled with alcoholism on top of everything else. So, yes, it is definitely hereditary...

My husband does not have psychosis, though his nerves are certainly frayed, given everything he and his mother endured. He is 28 years old. Is there a specific age threshold for onset? I read somewhere that it usually happens in one's early twenties.

Now, I find myself quite fearful... I have a son who is only a year and a half old. Is there anything I can do to prevent him from getting sick, considering the high probability? Or does it not necessarily mean he will suffer, given that it was the women who carried that gene? I don't know about the generations before, but regarding those two women, I know for sure. If I were to have a daughter one day, is it possible she could fall ill too?

David Vaughn75 said:Regarding that disability claim, her doctor needs to lay everything out clearly in the discharge papers from the hospital. She can't just show up before the board and say, "I feel bad, give me a check." I don't know the ins and outs of the legal stuff, so you should probably check with a lawyer or a social worker.

Besides, I'm only 28, so I'm not exactly in the same boat. A young brain runs at a hundred miles an hour—that's why it breaks easier, but it also bounces back faster than an older person's would.

I know... actually, both her doctor and her boss have already recommended she go on disability, so the approval shouldn't be the issue. We just need to gather all her medical records and get them over to him. I'm just not sure how long the backlog is for processing... but honestly, it doesn't matter much, I was just asking in case you knew something about it.🙂

You're 28... but she's been dealing with this for roughly 28 years...🙂

Is this something that runs in the family, like a genetic thing?

My husband (her son) didn't inherit it from her... yet he fell ill himself...

Larry Lewis said:William Evans10, you’ve got to push her—really push her—to actually *do* things. Start small, maybe just get her through a shower, and then follow that up with a direct command to wash the dishes. You have to chip away at this, bit by bit, to drag her out of that bed and away from this aimless existence she’s leading. It might sound harsh—and believe me, I know how heavy that feels—but sometimes you have to raise your voice or even threaten to cut off her cigarettes if she doesn't show even a glimmer of willpower or, heaven forbid, a basic desire to participate in life. Look, I live with schizophrenia myself, so I understand the fog better than most; both you and she are going to find this incredibly difficult at first, but you can't let her slide. She is spiraling, and that behavior you described? It’s a downward slide you have to interrupt.
Wishing the best for both of you🙂

That is exactly how we are operating now. Truly, I have tried every possible avenue. Pleas, long talks, crying, praying... everything under the sun. Nothing worked. Now, our dynamic has shifted to a point where I have to issue ultimatums, where she simply has to do what I say. She doesn't argue too much, though I can tell how much she's struggling. When she actually has a "good" moment, I try to reward her... It’s heartbreaking to witness and to participate in, because I should be able to just be her daughter. But instead, I find myself treating her like a small child...

It is all so heavy... No matter how one looks at it... it is incredibly difficult for us, the ones watching this unfold... those of us struggling and exhausting ourselves trying to do something for her. Especially for me. Since she is a woman and I am a woman... it hits me on such a deep level. I feel so much for her... and I am fighting to bring some semblance of normalcy back to her life. Yet, on the other hand, it feels as though help is beyond her reach. I'll snap at her, and she'll just look at me and say, "Okay, Lucy, I'll change... everything you're saying is true"... and then everything just slips right back to the way it was.

Thank you... We will find a way to endure this... I hope she does too. I just hope I can pull her out of this hell... Let her be ill, let her be clumsy, as long as she can just be present...

I hope you aren't upset that I've unloaded all of this on you...

How do you manage to cope with all of this?

David Vaughn75 said:Look, I’ve been a veteran of psychosis for a long time, so I’ll try to give you some perspective.

People going through psychotic episodes usually don't trust science, and they tend to view psychiatrists as total idiots who don't understand a damn thing. That’s where the real trouble starts. They don't see their doctor as someone trying to help; they see them as some malicious person out to get them. They think the meds are poison or that they're rotting their brains, which is obviously a complete misconception.

The question is, how do you explain logic to someone who isn't operating on logic right now? Honestly, I don't think talking sense into her is going to do much at this stage. In many cases, people dealing with psychosis lean heavily into religion (whether they're devout Christians, Muslims, or just big into alternative spirituality) because it provides a sense of purpose or meaning. You might want to try adjusting your approach to fit that vibe. Maybe have her talk to a priest or a spiritual leader—someone she feels a connection to. They often speak a language she can actually process better than the clinical jargon of science. The bottom line is that she needs to believe in *something*. Every brain, whether it's functioning normally or not, is searching for meaning—some kind of belief that makes life worth sticking around for.

Look, you really gotta wrap your head around the fact that getting better isn't some overnight miracle—it’s a long, grueling grind. It took me a solid six months just to stop feeling like a total wreck and actually start functioning like a normal human being again. And for the love of God, do NOT—I mean, seriously, do NOT—just stop taking your meds out of nowhere. In like 90% of cases, trying to go cold turkey ends with a one-way ticket back to the hospital.

She’s terrified of her doctor... and she dreads going to see him. Her husband or I have to practically drag her there; it’s an absolute struggle just to get her out of bed. She used to go to church every Sunday, visiting places like Vatican City or making a trip to Lourdes at least once a year... now she won't even do that. I have to force her to get up and get dressed, and she just resists everything. Your idea is actually quite good—I’ll try talking to the priest to see if he can sit down and chat with her. Though, truth be told, she barely listens to anyone anyway, and then everything goes right back to how it was. We’ll try... I just hope it helps lift her spirits a little. For me, the timeline doesn't matter as much as the outcome. I just want all this effort to finally pay off. So far, it feels like we've just been tilting at windmills. Unfortunately, I've tried talking to her calmly and gently, but it doesn't work. She doesn't take me seriously at all. I've cried, I've pleaded, nothing works. I end up having to threaten her or constantly nag her, staying on top of her every second, because otherwise... she slips right back into old habits. She takes an antipsychotic and an antidepressant every single day; I have to hand them to her and stay right there until she swallows them. She used to hide them or lie and say she took them when she hadn't. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart...

One more thing... do you happen to know what her legal rights and options are? Since she's employed, her job is being incredibly supportive and giving her as much leeway as possible... but she just can't do any more work. She spends more time on medical leave than she does actually working. We are currently gathering paperwork to apply for Social Security disability benefits... do you know anything about that process? How long does the wait usually last?

How are you holding up through all of this? How are you doing?
Sorry for being so informal... I hope you don't mind me using your first name... 🙂

PS. She isn't my daughter, she's my mother-in-law. 🙂

Hi everyone....I wanted to check in to hear from you all and perhaps vent a little about my own struggles...how are you doing? Blured, I hope you're holding up okay? These seasonal viruses are absolutely killing me; my son and I have been stuck with nothing but tissues and congestion for two weeks straight...but honestly, that’s the least of my worries. Some of you might know, and some might not, but my mother-in-law suffers from schizoaffective disorder...

The issue is that she has been bedridden for months now, just staring at the wall; she has lost at least 20 pounds, I'm sure, and spends her time just smoking and drinking coffee...she doesn't even shower, and there is absolutely no drive left in her life... It isn't that she is sad, per se, it's just that she has no emotions left; total apathy has taken over. We take her to her psychiatrist regularly, and she stays on her medication consistently. My husband and I set up a room for her, so she is living with us now. Her concentration is incredibly poor; she often can't even hear what I'm saying to her because her mind is wandering somewhere else entirely—I have to repeat myself several times before she finally registers. I can't even leave cigarettes on the table, because she will just stare at them, completely uninterested in anything else. I have to supervise her constantly because she simply isn't capable of being independent. Her motor skills are also declining. She is tidy and clean, and she eats only because I am constantly hovering over her; when she sits at the table, she just sits in silence and wants to go back to bed after two minutes. Unfortunately, none of the therapies seem to be working; they only keep things under control for a tiny window of time, and lately, I'm not even sure if they are doing that anymore. Her condition isn't plateauing, unfortunately, it is progressing. She is losing her grip on reality. She has no interest in people or anything else... she doesn't want to socialize, she doesn't want to go out... she just wants to lie in bed. This state took a sudden, sharp turn for the worse about two years ago...it was such a massive shock to our family. She hasn't experienced hallucinations yet, but I am terrified that...that they will come if this continues. The doctor says that with this specific medication...well, he says you can never truly know with these kinds of illnesses. I feel so angry and so sad, because I don't know how to help her, especially since there is so little information actually available to research regarding this specific illness...And I won't even begin to mention how much this is impacting my own mental state....it's a coma. 😢 People, how can I encourage her to start living even just a little bit? I'm not asking her to chat with neighbors or acquaintances...I just want her to talk to me. Is it that she doesn't want my help, or is she simply unable to? 😢 Anyway, she's had schizoaffective disorder since she was 25, but it has deteriorated so significantly over the last two years that they will likely change her diagnosis to schizophrenia...Forgive me for such a long post...I just really needed to vent...and I wanted to ask if anyone has any advice on how to make things even a little easier for her, or how we can all cope with this together? Is there any way to spark some movement in her before she drifts away completely?😢

Thank you....Warm wishes to everyone 👋

Noah Garcia4 said:Oh, I think not—I'm keeping my secrets. 🙂

Well, he showed up, and he isn't backing down. 🙄 He claims he’s a changed man, 😲 leaning heavily into all those clichés about how much he loves me, acting like he's suddenly become this tiny, insignificant speck of a person trying to make amends. 🤣 🙄

Honey, run the other way. A leopard never changes its spots... 😉

Noah Garcia4 said:I officially filed my divorce papers today at the Los Angeles County Superior Court 🙂 ☕

Good for you! You're being so incredibly brave, lady. 👍 Hang in there...

So, what’s the deal with him? Has he even shown his face yet?

Hang in there, honey...😢 I’m reading this and I honestly cannot believe it.😲 What a complete jerk... what a piece of work. Just take a deep breath and try to stay calm. Please don't let him ruin your peace of mind. I know you've been doing so well staying in remission lately, and it would be such a tragedy to let him trigger a setback. I get it, though—it is incredibly hard to keep your cool when someone treats you like this—but honestly? If he ever tries to crawl back, let him go find someone else to bother. He doesn't deserve you, period. Men like that don't deserve forgiveness. I am just so incredibly sorry...😢

My sister was in a relationship with an absolute monster. At the very beginning, everything felt perfect; he was so gentle, attentive, and just a genuinely good guy. But after some time passed—once she had already fallen deeply in love with him—the violence started. It began with a single slap out of nowhere, usually over something trivial, more like a heated argument than a fight, until suddenly, he’d just hit her for no reason at all. There would be periods of nothing, and then it would happen again, becoming more frequent every single time. Within a year, it escalated to him punching her in the head, hurling insults, belittling her, and even kicking her while she was on the floor. She didn't dare say a word, especially in front of friends, because she was absolutely terrified of what would happen once they were alone at home. He would beat her and degrade her, and she would just cry, while he seemed to actually enjoy feeling like the "stronger" one. It reached a point where he was hitting her on a daily basis, or every other day, over nothing—just because she didn't bring him a plate fast enough or because he was frustrated about some random thing. After every single one of those horrible episodes, he would beg her for forgiveness, crying and telling her it wasn't her fault, that he was mentally unstable, that he loved her, and that he would change. None of that ever happened. On the contrary, he only got worse. During the last two months, he beat her so severely that she lost consciousness several times; his fists would literally knock the wind right out of her lungs. He raped her twice, and she ended up pregnant, only to suffer a miscarriage due to the sheer amount of physical abuse she endured. And to top it all off, he beat her one last time because he blamed *her* for the miscarriage. If someone hits you that hard just once, I seriously doubt they won't do it again. These people are sick; they need professional help. Please, do not stay in a marriage and endure daily torment just because you love him or because he claims to love you. Love is proven through actions, not empty words. Don't go through what my poor sister went through; the psychological trauma is devastating. I don't know... try one more time if you must, but if it happens again, the best and smartest thing you can do is walk away. Because if he repeats this behavior despite all those promises of love, he will keep hitting you and he will never change. I know it must be incredibly difficult for you, but sometimes it is better to end a marriage, no matter how painful it is, rather than living through those traumas forever. I'm sure there are beautiful moments mixed in, but when you sit down and do the math, the bad moments far outweigh the good ones.

STAY STRONG AND GOOD LUCK...🙂

driftingcanyon17 said:Honestly, it’s been pretty awful. My husband has already ended up in the ER twice because he wasn't staying on top of his medication. Now he’s still stuck in the hospital, and I'm just hoping he can make it home before Christmas. I’m honestly terrified he’ll start messing around with his meds again, and I just don't have the energy left to keep nagging him about it. I'm feeling pretty burnt out by all of this...

I am so sorry, 😢 I truly believe what you're going through is incredibly difficult. I'm not sure if you have children, but managing all of this at once is such a heavy burden. It is so hard for a sick person to admit they'll always need medication; it's hard for them to grasp that our intentions come from a place of love and a genuine desire to help, not to control them. Unfortunately, some people eventually realize it, some never will, and some simply refuse to understand—even when they know they have no other choice but to take their pills. They aren't even aware of how ill they truly are, thinking that just because they feel better thanks to the meds, they can just stop, not realizing everything will just slide right back to where it started. How old is your husband? When was he first diagnosed? What kind of medications is he on, or should be taking? Are you located in Washington, D.C.? How on earth are you coping with all of this...? My husband and I both feel like our nerves are completely frayed from everything we've dealt with, but thank God we have each other to lean on, and somehow we just manage to get through it. If it feels too personal or uncomfortable to discuss here, please feel free to send me a private message.

driftingcanyon17 said:Man... I'm curious, how do you all handle this kind of thing within your own families?

Right now things are alright—I think they are okay... though it’s never truly "okay," if you know what I mean. We are just pushing through, and she listens to us to a certain extent. She’s staying consistent with her medication, mostly because I make sure she takes it every single day. Back when she was managing it herself, she’d skip doses or just stop altogether. How should I put this... let's just say she’s being "compliant" and stays "under control" mainly out of fear of the hospital. She knows that my husband and I are at our absolute breaking point; she understands that if she starts acting out—throwing tantrums, running wild, talking loudly to herself, or getting aggressive—she'll end up back in a facility. Honestly, after the last year or two, we just don't have any nerves left to spare. To be perfectly candid, we are terrified of what tomorrow might bring, but we're just taking it one day at a time...
How about you guys? How are things going on your end?

driftingcanyon17 said:🙂I’m not entirely sure if this is the right spot for this, but I figured I’d give it a shot. I’m married to a man who has been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. It’s been a rough road—he’s actually ended up in a psychiatric ward twice now because he hasn't been staying on top of his medication. I’m wondering if anyone else here is navigating life with a spouse or family member dealing with this or something similar? If you are, I’d love to hear from you. Thanks.

We certainly do. My husband's mother suffers from schizoaffective disorder.

Noah Garcia4 said:Well, thanks. First things first, though: you need to determine if she’s experiencing hallucinations—maybe she is and is just keeping quiet about it—or if you've already learned how to tell the difference by now. Beyond that, I can't offer much besides suggesting antidepressants. But you have to understand the generational gap here; I'm young, I've got my whole life ahead of me, and I'm actually relieved that these newer medications are so much more effective. Your mother-in-law belongs to an older generation. That’s exactly why I wrote that specific part regarding those who are bedridden. You see, the meds leave you with a dry mouth, and the low blood pressure they cause can make you feel lightheaded, but unfortunately, that's just the price of admission. However, since you mentioned she’s still working, it sounds like she hasn't completely lost her footing yet. Look, if the antidepressants don't knock you out, then when you have a moment of free time and aren't feeling totally sedated, you should try to get moving. Why is SHE the one stuck in bed? Maybe she wants to do something, but truly can't 🤷 there are simply too many antidepressant options available 🧐

Sorry if I haven't been posting much lately; my own mental health is a bit better, but it's easy to get sucked into these forums. I need to focus more on real life rather than living on the internet. I hope I was able to help you out. 😉 🎉

edit: given the F25 diagnosis, consider yourself lucky if there aren't hallucinations involved; mood swings are significantly easier to manage, but let's be real—this isn't some common cold you can just shake off... 👋

My heart breaks for how she's living. I really want to help her, but she has almost nothing to look forward to in life. The only person who is even remotely interesting to her is her grandson, my son... but even that is just a brief few minutes before she wanders off again. I try everything—I get her out of bed, I clean her room and the bathroom for her just to get her moving, I invite her for coffee, I try to cheer her up or make her laugh, but it's like she's just smiling to be polite. Most of the time, she just doesn't feel like doing anything. Even when she does participate, like having coffee with us, it feels like she's just checking a box so she can head back down to the ground floor. We even thought about having her move in with us since we have the space, but she made such a scene about it. She has no friends, and she doesn't socialize much with us either. She used to go to church and would travel to visit Lourdes, but not anymore. Just work, home, and bed. She lies there, but she isn't sleeping. That's the main issue; she isn't lying down because she's tired. There are no hallucinations, but she talks to herself—not as much as before, but still. She tells me she isn't talking to someone she hears, she's just thinking out loud and commenting to herself. She isn't "that old" and wouldn't want to unconsciously destroy herself and her life like this. It's as if she doesn't want help, or maybe she doesn't realize how big the problem is. Oh boy... I don't know, I feel so bad for her, but I truly don't know how to motivate her or pull her out of this state anymore. Because she's so isolated and doesn't socialize, I'm terrified that hallucinations will start setting in. Honestly, I truly admire all of you who are fighting through all of this, who refuse to give up and manage to keep everything under control while still living your lives. Your loved ones should be proud of you. Let that be your motivation to keep going. It means you are fighting, and that you will grow even stronger; let that drive you. Unfortunately, she has given up and stopped fighting, and it makes me so incredibly sad. 😢That is precisely why we’re all going to pull together and fight for her; we’ll do everything in our power to ensure she gets the support she needs to feel better. Thank you so much for the advice. We are planning to sit down with her psychiatrist to discuss adjusting her antidepressant dosage. I won't bother you with this anymore. Please, just enjoy life—I truly wish you nothing but the absolute best. And, my apologies for such a long-winded post. I hope I haven't overwhelmed you too much.🙂 Best regards...🙂