Posts by Ethan Sullivan2

Question!
I don’t know a whole lot about this specific disorder, but...
Back when I was riding the subway about five or six years ago, I constantly felt like someone was staring at me, which was incredibly distracting. I knew deep down I was just imagining it, so I tried to avoid looking up, but the more I refused to look, the more anxious I became. Eventually, it got to the point where my head would start jerking around like I had some kind of nervous tic. The reason behind it was that I felt like the entire train car was watching my every move... I didn't know where to direct my eyes, so I just ended up twitching (which, let's be honest, makes me sound like a total lunatic, haha)
On top of that, I often felt this overwhelming urge to look at something specific, almost like I was being commanded to do so, and I frequently found myself compulsively counting things...
I never actually sought out professional help because I've always believed that people are their own best doctors. Besides, I'm skeptical about therapy—why go just to have someone tell me how to live my life? Or worse, make things more complicated? I've actually said before that young guys shouldn't rush to see a psychiatrist right away (honestly, maybe they shouldn't go at all)....
I eventually managed to work through this mostly by building up my self-confidence. I started holding my head high and actually making eye contact with people instead of shrinking away. I basically told myself, "Chin up, buddy," hehe.
Also, if you have a good sense of humor, you'll find it much easier to deal with this stuff.

So, now I'm wondering: were those actual symptoms of the disorder, or was I just overthinking everything?
Maybe it was just a massive lack of self-esteem... Even today, I still get a bit uneasy on the subway, but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be...
Hopefully, sharing this helps someone out along the way.

But what about the things that don't impact our personal growth? I’m genuinely curious about who I actually am, which means... hmm...
If you really wanted to see your true self, you’d probably have to develop in total isolation—like being stranded on a desert island, living solo with nothing but food for sustenance. That’s when you’d find out who you really are and what you’re capable of inventing.
Of course, that’s impossible.
In this day and age, knowledge is cumulative. You have to spend years studying intensely just to eventually reach a point where you can draw a conclusion that nobody else has reached before you. And even then, you have to specialize in specific fields because life is far too short to try and grasp the entire picture at once.
I haven't read Freud, but he used the concept of the parent and child through these "sexual" models (gross), implying that your first understanding of what is masculine or feminine comes directly from your parents.
The best approach is to not push children too hard... but you can only really do that if you lead a calm life yourself. If you're financially stable and aren't constantly stressed about basic survival, you can manage, because emotions are fleeting, yet you can't hide them from a child. Kids are much more emotional creatures than their parents. That’s why kids identify so strongly with music; they play in that emotional realm of expression, whereas parents have already transitioned into calculated emotions and logic.
So, basically, you grow most effectively by acting naturally—by learning from your own mistakes rather than having your parents hand everything to you on a silver platter or overprotecting you (and I don't mean being overly strict).
Nowadays, parents are so weighed down by their financial situation that they barely have time for their kids. Instead, TV acts as the medium that teaches them how to live; we're basically raising a new generation of Cabelguy's followers, haha.
"I learned the facts of life by watching a show called Life Facts," lol.
Social communities and traditions are dying out, but what even is a tradition?
It's the guardians of culture, the passing down of something learned. Where are those moments now when your grandma would knit you a sweater? What good does it do you when you just have The Chinese man living on your street? Damn.
The bottom line is that your community shapes your character. As The Chinese man says, "Thanks God we live in such an interesting time," because when and where you are born matters immensely!
Alright, enough philosophizing!
You’ll become the best version of yourself—a humble, kind, empathetic being—if you're raised by someone who is truly good at heart... or, in my opinion, someone who is emotionally fulfilled, stable, cheerful, and lacks malice.

Envy is basically just that feeling you get when someone else has something you want, and you're sitting there feeling bitter because you're craving it too. Hehe.
It’s not like envy is this ultimate cardinal sin, where just thinking about it makes you a villain or anything.
brightnomad0 put it better than anyone else could (though, let's be real, there's no such thing as "the best" description, hehe)
In small doses, envy can actually be a positive thing—just like any other emotion.
Nature wouldn't have designed us this way if it wasn't useful...
Someone once said that envy can act as a compliment to an achievement; if we didn't feel that spark of envy, we'd never have the drive to go after what we want.
I'll admit, I envy anyone who possesses something I personally admire... and honestly, there's nothing wrong with that.😉
Of course, you have to keep these feelings in check. It's all about that balance between good and evil.😉
To me, jealousy is more of an emotional thing compared to envy.
Envy feels more material-based; I mean, you can't really be jealous of a friend's new car... or can you? (I'd say no).
Jealousy is what happens in relationships...
For instance, I feel a bit of envy toward brightnomad0 because she’s so much better at expressing herself😉,and if I weren't envious, I’d probably never push myself to reach that level.
brightnomad0, I envy you!