Posts by wiredpilot8

I just finished watching it 🙏
Honestly, it totally made my millennium 😁 😁 😁
It’s wonderful 🙂
I'm going back in for a second viewing right now.

Anyone got a few quotes? 😁

Tommy: Do you accept Jesus Christ as Your personal lord and Saviour?
Hedwig: No, but I love his work.

Hedwig: Ladies and gentlemen, do you like the pelt? Be honest, because some *bitch* stopped me on the way in. "What poor and unfortunate creature had to die for you to wear that?"
[pause]
Hedwig: My Aunt Trudy, I replied. Walked away Ladies and gentlemen, walked away!

Hedwig: How did some slip of a girly boy from communist East Berlin become the internationally ignored song stylist barely standing before you?

Hedwig: I got kicked out of university after delivering a brilliant lecture on the aggressive influence of German philosophy on rock and roll entitled "You, Kant, Always get What you Want".

Hansel's moj : Absolute Power corrupts
Hansel (6 Years Old): Absolutely.
Hansel's moj : Absolute Power corrupts

Hedwig: One day in the late mid 80's I was in my early late 20's.

Hansel: Jesus says the darndest things.
Hedwig: [slaps Hansel] Don't you ever mention that name to me again.
Hansel: But he died for our sins.
Hedwig: So did Hitler!
Hansel: Eh?

Hedwig: Don't you know me Kansas City? I'm the new Berlin Wall. Try and tear me down!

Hedwig: When it comes to huge openings, a lot of people think of me.

Hedwig: The road is my home. In reflecting upon the people whom I have come upon in my travels, I cannot help but think of the people who have come upon me. Tommy, can you hear me? From this milkless tit you have sucked the very business we call show!

lyrics:

Tear me down
http://www.hedwiginabox.com/movie/ly...ar_me_down.htm

The origin of love
http://www.hedwiginabox.com/movie/ly...in_of_love.htm

Freaks
http://www.hedwiginabox.com/movie/lyrics/freaks.htm

Nailed
http://www.hedwiginabox.com/movie/lyrics/nailed.htm

Everything’s fine. Casey Palmer5, you hit the nail on the head and I completely agree with you... I guess I just needed to vent a little bit. 😁Honestly, these kinds of conversations just frustrate me—that feeling when I can't say what I actually think because I'm too busy saying what she wants to hear. Usually, what a friend wants to hear in that moment is pretty destructive, mostly because they're stuck in the same negative headspace as me when they call.

Of course, I play along. I listen, I give advice, and more often than not, they actually take it... just like you said. 🙂

Anyway, why am I even complaining? I’ve definitely been that person before, venting to my friends after a blowout with my partner, only to get even more annoyed when they start playing devil's advocate for him. It's not that I don't understand how that works 🙂 it's just that some people have these crises once a year, whereas others seem to have a new drama every single week. If you're the one on the other end of the phone, you need serious patience for that.

And honestly, those moments where someone I’m leaning on starts defending my partner—which just leaves me feeling totally defeated—do eventually change how I see things. It's a harder way to learn, sure, but that's usually how it happens... wow, we're getting all tangled up in this, aren't we? And it's all so cliché. 🙂

Ahem. 😁
My partner just walked in with the Verizon bill. 😁 😁
I think I might be in trouble. 😁
Send help and empathy. 😁

Oh, absolutely. That’s usually how it plays out.

But here’s what really gets me about these situations: it’s when a friend calls me up, basically in a state of total existential crisis because some guy gave her a weird look—or whatever—and now she’s spiraling. Was he being creepy? Did he just have a bad day? Does he hate her now? Oh god, I live for these calls... She starts firing off a thousand questions, but let’s be real, she isn't actually looking for answers. She wants me to validate that he’s a complete jerk... that she’s 100% right... that he owes her a massive apology... that he's clearly not good enough for her. And honestly? I can only react that way. If I don't, suddenly I'm the villain too.

That’s why I think empathy is so subjective. It’s hard to tap into when you're feeling insecure yourself, or when you're so desperate to feel a specific emotion through that empathy that you end up worrying it might not even be genuine.

Whatever, it doesn't matter... the main thing is just being there and showing some sympathy for a friend who's having a complete meltdown... 🙂 🙂

magic_tree said:🙂

Yeah, but if someone's primary outlet is just nitpicking everyone else's "weaknesses" or screw-ups, I don't really see any empathy there.

True. And honestly, it’s not just about venting about others. It gets exhausting when, say, a friend keeps me on the phone for an hour straight venting about some guy because they can't wrap their head around him—or maybe they're just afraid to actually understand him. Usually, I try to play devil's advocate as much as I can to give them the sense that they're actually having a real debate, but I've noticed that just drives them crazy. They get annoyed at me for not being "empathetic" enough or "getting it," and then they take it out on the guy, too. I mean, come on, if all they want is for me to nod along and act like a sounding board... sometimes I just lean into that. I'll just nod and go, "Yeah, yeah, I totally get how hard this is for you." It feels a bit weird, but strangely, it works better. 😁 My friends end up hanging up feeling pretty satisfied since they got everything off their chest. 😁

Personally, though, I don't feel the need to ramble about this stuff constantly. Every once in a long while, I might need to vent and unload on two or three friends about whatever is eating at me. It rarely hits me too hard, and when it does, I move past it quickly. 😁

Actually, I'm starting to think it's a bad idea to ask too many people for advice when you're dealing with a problem. Too many cooks in the kitchen, right? When you go around asking everyone, you just get flooded with different opinions and ideas from people who aren't even alike, which just leaves you spinning in circles. At the end of the day, you're going to do what you were going to do anyway. Even if you follow someone's advice just because it sounds smart, it might not be what you actually *need* to do to satisfy your own conscience or work through your own patterns.

because empathy implies understanding both those who are suffering and those who are shallow or stunted enough to see that suffering in the first place.

Fair point. But why focus only on suffering? Personally, I try to avoid feeling empathy for pain unless I absolutely have to. I've got enough of my own baggage to deal with 😁. On the flip side, there are plenty of other emotions where I'm perfectly fine being empathetic.

nothing is good in excess, not even empathy. This whole material universe seems to run on a balance of opposites; a cruel person is no good, but neither is someone who's "too good," because they just get walked all over, and their loved ones end up paying the price.

The middle ground is usually best—not too much, not too little. 😉
Too little empathy leads to cruelty, but too much leads to completely losing yourself in order to please others, which isn't healthy either. [/B]

I see what you mean, but... well, look. I've seen situations where incredibly empathetic people were actually quite cruel. And conversely, people who were totally oblivious to empathy could be absolute saints. Kindness and cruelty aren't strictly tied to empathy. Am I being cruel if I'm afraid to empathize with someone in pain, simply because I'm scared it'll break me, causing me to shut down and distance myself from them?

Alex Thompson5 said:Exactly.
If we don't set boundaries, everything just falls apart.
Though, I guess that’s just part of life—the flip side of the coin.
There’s always a deeper layer beneath what we think we know,
beneath our experience
and our actual knowledge
of the things we take for granted.

If we don't truly understand something,😢 where do we get the right to pass judgment on it?

👍

(I'm not sure what else I could add to that 🙂 )

But I find it fascinating how empathy itself is completely subjective. You can have two people with highly developed empathy who perceive a third person in entirely different ways. That difference usually shows up most clearly in that impulse to judge someone—or to "analyze" them, 😁, which is really just what people say when they're gossiping 😁.

Having high empathy doesn't mean you share the same values as another empathetic person. Because of that, these debates and judgments end up being pretty exhausting and pointless; it turns into a power struggle between two empathetic individuals both trying to prove their version of reality is the correct one.

So, all that judging, analyzing, gossiping, and trying to convince others... it’s mostly meaningless. But then again, what else would people talk about?

Anyway, whatever. 🙂

ravana said:Empathy is the direct opposite of selfishness.

I’m not so sure about that. Personally, I find myself being incredibly careful when I try to empathize with someone. If they're in a truly devastating situation, it can absolutely wreck me—especially if it's someone close to me. Honestly, the idea of trying to empathize with parents who have lost a child to a terminal illness? That scares me; I feel like I’d just start shaking.

I also tend to think that our capacity for empathy grows alongside our life experiences, so it naturally deepens over time. To me, what looks like "selfishness" in empathy is actually just a defense mechanism. 🙂In fact, there are plenty of times when I have to force myself to switch off my empathy just so I can actually find the strength to laugh again.

they were incredible 🙂
I picked up two CDs, Dead Man Rising and The Scavenger... had such a great chat with the guy working the counter, too. He spoke English and we just had a blast joking around... 🙂 absolute genius 👍

So I walk up and ask if he has that CD featuring Finley's Motel and Jack Candy—I couldn't for the life of me remember the title—and he tells me, "New West Motel? That’s gonna be tough, I've only got one left" 😁 but since you almost crashed my table (I'd leaned on his desk a bit earlier, which was sitting on some beer crates 😁) "I'll give it to you." I just burst out laughing... 😁 😁 😁

Later on, he tried to talk me into buying this other CD he swore was his best, something newer, but I told him I wanted stuff with a lot of energy. We joked about how, "Since you've bought New West Motel, it should satisfy your need for... you know..." but I kept insisting on something fast, so he handed me The Scavenger instead... seriously, what a great guy.

I love Walkabouts most when they're playing fast; those slow, moody, introspective tracks get a little boring for me, but they absolutely rock when they pick up the tempo. And man, I was so stoked when the Bambi Molesters came on for the encore 😁