Alex Cooper8 said:you know, people tend to jump to conclusions way too easily when they try to assess something like this. especially when we're talking about teenagers who are just starting to navigate their own identities for the first time. honestly, one of the worst things you can do to someone at that stage is start slapping all these clinical diagnoses on them, basically shoving it in their face that they're "crazy." you mentioned she’s sharp... and that clarity can actually be a bit of a curse, particularly during those years when you're old enough to see that the world around you is completely broken, yet you aren't quite "somebody" by official societal standards yet, so you don't have any real agency to change anything.
it would be incredibly wise to channel all that energy into something creative, maybe art or something similar—though, naturally, it’ll probably be something typical for her age group. based on what you've described, she strikes me more as an eccentric than someone with BPD, which isn't even a bad thing once a person finds their balance later in life. eccentrics usually solve problems better than "normal" people do (Jung used to say: show me a normal person and I'll cure them 🙂), they just tend to do it in ways that are non-conventional from a social standpoint. i'm convinced we're dealing with someone who has massive potential for growth, but if there's too much pressure to conform to society, they might just drown, and if there's zero pressure to integrate at all, they drift into alienation... and after that, it's a downward spiral.
in my view, the most important thing is to look at these types of people as individuals rather than treating them as outliers who don't fit the social mold. one thing is certain—you can accept that she's different and guide her toward doing something constructive with that uniqueness. though, granted, what counts as "constructive" might not look conventional at first. and when you think she's acting crazy because you simply don't get what's happening, don't just reject it, whine, or judge. there's still the matter of her immediate environment, specifically the family. the question is, are you prepared to see yourselves reflected in her and question the reality surrounding you? don't approach conversations and relationships as a simple "us vs. her" dynamic, because through actual dialogue, reality isn't just reinterpreted—it's created.
You put that so beautifully.--
Such solid, thoughtful advice, too.
Gregory Wells6, I really hope your daughter finds her footing and reaches her full potential—and that you guys work through everything together.