Posts by Gregory Reyes

Heh. I'm actually a little too scared to even try that one.

Paul Perez said:It’s actually pretty gutsy of you to admit that you’re feeling envious. Honestly, maybe that’s too harsh a word, because I don't think you actually feel that way toward everyone else.

The reason you see your former friend as physically "perfect" is just because modern American society hammers that specific image down our throats every single day. If we were living a few centuries ago, you’d be considered a total knockout, while those skinny types would have just been seen as looking sickly.

I honestly think you’re still just pissed off that she didn't make more room for you in her new life. The intensity of these negative feelings you're dealing with probably stems from the fact that back when you guys were close, you were essentially living out your own dreams through her—so her success felt like yours. Now that you aren't part of her world anymore, seeing her succeed hits differently because you're suddenly on the outside looking in.

It is high time you started actually living your own life instead of living this "life without your perfect friend."

Any physical flaws you think you have can be tackled if you’ve got the willpower—think gym sessions or diet—or you can just play it up with better clothes and makeup.

A ton of iconic people have actually turned their perceived flaws into a signature "personal style" that millions of people ended up copying later.

But hey, you already knew all that, didn't you?

When a relationship falls apart, you really need to sit down and figure out why it tanked and how much of that was on you. Relationships rarely fail just because of "looks"; it’s almost always about someone's temperament, their actual character, or just having totally wrong expectations.

If I were you, I'd just break your whole problem down into smaller pieces and tackle each one individually. That's usually the easiest way to find a way out.

Yeah, I am. I used to be furious. Now? I'm just bitter.

Thanks for all the advice, everyone.😘 Seriously.

Yeah, I’m still struggling, even if things are way better than they were a few years ago. Back then, I absolutely hated myself. I couldn't look in a mirror without wishing I could just swap places with her—my body image was totally warped. Things are better now; I actually like myself more, and while that jealousy toward her has faded, it hasn't completely vanished...
But honestly, I feel pathetic. How is it that I, someone who has conquered so much through sheer willpower, can't get past this? Every time I notice something new about her, I just stare at the ceiling and hum some random song in my head... because if I don't, I feel like I'm going to lose it and want to strangle her. I try so hard not to look at her. It just eats me alive.
But you're right, Gregory Reyes, slow and steady. You can't fix everything overnight. This has been going on too long for it to just disappear in a heartbeat.

I’m putting in even more effort.
I’m also banking on time here, since I know things were way worse before.
So, my theory is that the longer we wait, the better it gets...
Or I’ll just quit so I don't have to deal with her anymore.😁

I know.
I try my best to just not think about it.
Everything feels fine until I actually see her.
Then I turn into someone else entirely. I try to poke at her with some comments and then suddenly... I'm a total bitch.

I know I can't live off other people's misery. But somehow, I do. I feed on her struggles, and honestly? Every time I see her failing at something, my day gets a little brighter.
I'm terrible, goddammit. Now that I've actually typed it out, I'm starting to realize it...

redotter1, I’m actually jealous. 🙂
I bet that feels incredible.

As for my own issues....
Everything is fine, except for the envy, the possessiveness, and the total lack of a love life.
Honestly, I think I’d be the happiest person on the planet if she just moved away and I never heard a single word about her again.

My problems?
You mean people who don't even have anything to do with her?
Or no...
😕

I’m trying, believe me. It’s just that my toolkit is running pretty empty,
Most days I just tell myself, "Stop obsessing over her, you idiot, get a life!"
Then I try to go do something else. But honestly? It doesn't always work...
Things are better now, I guess. Mostly because I’m killing it at work compared to her. One of the best on the team. But just the thought that she might actually start catching up to me is driving me insane. So, I’m working. A lot. Overtime, constantly. And I can't keep this up forever. I keep telling myself how stupid it is to be this worked up—that people out there have real problems while I’m here burning myself out—but... I don't know. I just can't help it.

I wouldn't say I'm in love. 🙂 At least, I don't think I am.

I just soak up her... positive energy. She always looks so happy. So loved.

Which is honestly terrible, because I find myself feeling weirdly content at the thought of their marriage hitting a rough patch. Like, maybe they’re actually struggling behind closed doors.
And look, I'm not a bad person. But these thoughts... they really eat at me.

She got married and just... completely ghosted me. And look, I’ll admit it—I can be a little possessive. Okay, maybe a lot more than a little.
So, naturally, I ended up pissed. She was totally head over heels for him, and before I knew it, we had just drifted apart...

I try to look at her the way I used to... you know, back when things were simpler. Every once in a while, I can actually pull it off. In those moments, I just want to give her a massive hug. But most of the time? It’s just this messy cocktail of envy and self-destruction taking over...

Nah. Back then, I actually looked up to her. Like, I really loved her... but eventually, that just turned into pure envy.
It happened right around the time she got married.

Alright, here's the deal....
I wasn't sure if anyone has ever posted about this on psychology, but I couldn't find anything similar.
I've got a bit of a situation, and honestly, I’m curious how people actually deal with jealousy.
So, there's this girl. Well, an ex-friend. We aren't as close as we used to be.
But man, do I envy her. She's got the perfect marriage, a husband who's basically a saint, everyone loves her, she stays fit... you name it. Meanwhile, I'm out here struggling with my weight and a string of disastrous relationships... yeah, the usual story. Look, I get it—nobody's life is perfect, nobody is flawless. But we work at the same office, and I find myself working myself to death just to try and one-up her. I catch myself secretly eyeing what she's wearing... I'll spend days obsessing over whether she bought some designer outfit or just how good she looks in it...
This has been going on for years. It's constant. I think about her. And I'm jealous of her.
Everything. Just her.
It's like I'm obsessed, in a way. I really need some advice.
At one point, I'll admit, it was even worse. I was thinking about her 24/7. I'm trying to work on it, trying to snap myself out of it when those thoughts creep in, but still...
Seriously, I need help. What do you guys think? Anyone dealt with something like this? Please.