Posts by John Price

says: ...based on what she wrote, she’s admitting she struggles with porn addiction, implying she links voyeurism to watching porn—as if she doesn't realize that men do this—all of them. So, according to her, the issue isn't him, but rather that there isn't actually an issue at all; they just have different biological drives between men and women.

First off, I gotta thank my unofficial spokesperson for speaking up for me here. 🙂
All I can say about this whole thing is that I don't equate voyeurism with watching porn; I link it to what it actually is...
How can you possibly claim there isn't an actual problem here?👎
And another flat-out lie from you is that sweeping generalization that "ALL" men do it.

briskjackal5 said:You’re just more of a... romantic type... I really don't think he's the kind of guy you should be dealing with at this stage of your life.
I honestly think that eventually, you'll just end up looking for someone else entirely.

I truly wish you the best, though.

Thanks again for the sweet wishes, BUT... we're actually making progress here.🙂
After LOTS of talking (no hysterics or ultimatums—just focusing on cause and effect and how things felt...) plus an incident that forced him to rethink everything about us (some outside circumstances got involved)—the result: 🙂 😘 🙂 🙂
I know I'm rambling! But I love my Mr. Dream!.. We're traveling somewhere tomorrow—I have no clue where—he wants to surprise me! Isn't that romantic?🙂

Joe, it’s sad, but it’s the truth... Thanks

briskjackal5 said:... regarding men, just listen to what a man tells you.
I honestly feel like such an annoying jerk posting this stuff here, thinking I'm doing everyone a favor, only to get called "immature" just because I'm pointing out the obvious—that men are clearly going to solo play more often than the five of you active on this thread

Fine then, why don't you give me your take from a guy's perspective? Why go solo if a woman actually wants sex?
How would you actually feel if the person you loved was right next to you, losing their mind with a vibrator, while casually commenting: "Man, I really wish this guy or that guy would just go at it with me properly..."
I bet you'd assume that would turn you on, but think about how common that's becoming lately... Wouldn't you start feeling pretty pathetic?

Susan Booth10 said:...I honestly think it would be even harder to accept within a marriage, which is actually a good thing in my eyes. I truly believe—and call me conservative, outdated, or primitive if you want—that using porn or anything like that somehow undermines marital fidelity. Again, that’s just how I see things.🙂

Well, he claims it has nothing to do with being faithful because "we're still sleeping together" and it's all just "fantasy"... But we were just watching a movie together one night... and his hand was a much better choice than me! And then, in the middle of all that, he starts making comments like, "Man, I'd love to have her..." or "I wish someone else would..." After stuff like that, any desire I had just completely vanished.
I'm not some high-maintenance person, but sometimes I really need romance, tenderness, candlelit dinners, sweet words...
Marriage? What kind of marriage is that?!! 😢

stormylynx4 said:Just a quick update—he finally decided to actually sit down with a therapist. I really hope this helps him find a way out of his porn addiction.

Hmm, I’m not feeling quite as optimistic today... He went to the appointment, but he ended up spiraling into all these other issues instead (since that wasn't really the main point here)... There has to be a way out, even if walking away feels like my most realistic option right now...😢

northerndrifter said:... there was a time when I’d spend every single morning crying in the bathroom because I just didn't know how to move forward with him, let alone how to function without him.
To clarify, my situation hasn't quite hit those extreme levels of porn addiction, but our sex life is basically nonexistent, which honestly just makes everything feel way worse. It's incredibly painful for me, especially since he refuses to even address the elephant in the room...

Right now, I'm just in this phase of ignoring the whole mess because I desperately need some peace, but I know deep down there's going to come a day where I have to face this head-on again. I mean, I really don't want to live like this—or stay stuck in this status quo—forever...

I am so sorry you're going through this, and I truly get it. It is exhausting trying to deal with all of this when your partner isn't being open or honest, but instead chooses to shut down and neglect you.
If he won't talk, then you need to lay your cards on the table. Tell him exactly what you found out. Explain what your needs are and how neglected you feel. Openness is everything in a relationship. Sometimes a partner doesn't even realize how deeply we're hurting or how unsatisfied we are simply because we haven't learned how to communicate it effectively...
I know you're looking for some peace right now—like a total time-out from the chaos—but ignoring things doesn't actually solve anything, and the clock keeps ticking... It's good that you aren't willing to settle for a life like this. You deserve a relationship without the tears. A relationship where you're happy, fulfilled, and where the effort is mutual. Don't settle for less than you deserve! 😘

Almorah said:...The whole point is voyeurism, and honestly, that really is a disorder.
So please, stop blaming yourself. You just happened to end up in a relationship with a guy who has an issue, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to fix him. He needs to realize he has this problem, recognize that you're being hurt by it, and frankly, most women would have packed their bags and left long ago.

Yeah, the issue existed in his previous relationship too, except back then he was doing everything behind her back! He laid it all out for me right at the start of our relationship. We agreed to have zero secrets and no hiding anything from each other. I understood his reasoning—it was mainly because their sexual needs were totally mismatched (he wanted it every day, she was maybe two or three times a month; he was down for anything, she just wanted the basics...) We both concluded that without those specific triggers, there shouldn't be any need for the extreme stuff (like voyeurism), but after a while, we're facing almost the exact same scenario, even though those original reasons are gone.
I notice he feels embarrassed about it sometimes, and I actually feel bad for him. I don't want people pointing fingers at him or labeling him a maniac, because he isn't one. Whatever problem he's dealing with, I'll help him as much as I can. I am certain he is THE one—my partner for life—which is why I refuse to give up on him. He finally agreed to talk to a therapist and actually set an appointment for today!👍
Hopefully, we'll get some actual answers soon! Thank you to you and everyone else for the support and understanding!
PS. You haven't posted too much 🙂

briskjackal5 said:ž maestralno.

Brilliant. Truly brilliant.
The guy is just jerking off to get attention and make his partner's life a living hell.
But honestly, you sound pretty triggered right now.

You’re clearly deluded! It isn't even about the actual porn or the masturbation—though I think you've gotten way too deep into this specific rabbit hole, so I'm giving up on trying to explain myself again...

Look, Steve, don't just cherry-pick a single word and ignore the entire context! 🙂
It’s taking an emotional toll on me, and honestly, it's hitting him in a lot of ways too, even if he refuses to admit it!
As far as "seeing things clearly" goes, believe me, when you're standing right next to him, there is absolutely no need for any kind of "blindness." 😁
But it sounds like you might actually need to go see a decent eye doctor!

Raymond Baker58 said:p.s. honestly, given that briskjackal5 is rocking an avatar with some pretty questionable content, I’d take everything he posts with a massive grain of salt. you know how it is... people tend to look out for their own...

🤣 🤣 🤣 I just realized what it was, though it looks fine to me at first glance...😁

Raymond Baker58: 👍
You hit the nail on the head regarding that feeling of being humiliated—it really was just pure DEGRADATION!
It’s that nagging sense that I’m just not enough for him. Like, as if I’m some kind of cold, lifeless object, and if I were 🥳 or 🙂 then he wouldn't have an issue—like I'm just supposed to satisfy his needs regardless. I’m starting to realize the problem isn't actually me, despite what some people were saying (including himself) about how those things are just separate categories in his mind, but honestly, it still weighs heavily on me.
That comment about him maybe using this to punish me? That one really stuck in my craw. 😕
As for seeing a therapist... maybe there will be something to that. Thanks for the well wishes! 😉

briskjackal5 said:Look, if it isn't hurting him, and she’s happy too, then everything is fine exactly as it should be. Just leave them alone... 😁

It "hurts" me! Is being sexually satisfied really the most important thing if his habits are driving us apart emotionally? There is such a thing as "how things should be"... for instance, we could watch together (I would never turn him down), or if he's doing it alone, there should at least be some boundaries—like, HELLO, at least NOT in public or at work!!!

Jamie Newman4 said:Look, here’s the deal—the guy is an addict. Period. The real question is what’s driving it... If this is eating you alive, you need to take action regardless of whatever nonsense people are preaching at you. Just don't go lowering your "ego's boundaries"🙄 because some random person is whining that you're being intolerant or whatever. The reality is simple: his addiction bothers you, you're a pretty sexually open person, and your partner is an addict.

Honestly, you can't do a damn thing until he actually realizes he's addicted (if he ever does, which is a big if, since he thinks this is perfectly normal and you're just being "clueless" because you don't see it his way).

I want to know the root cause too, but how am I supposed to find it? Does an addiction like this even have a specific trigger? I asked him why he feels this constant need to watch porn. His response was: "There's nothing better than watching a woman reach her peak!"😲 😲 😲
And it doesn't even matter who it is—whether it's some overweight, unattractive woman or a teenager—as long as it looks "real" and isn't "acted." It's always the same cycle...
What can I even do about this?😢
Just like you pointed out, he thinks this is completely fine. He doesn't even realize there's a problem, like the fact that he’s starting to view every woman he sees as just a sexual object, and lately, his fantasies have been getting increasingly extreme...

briskjackal5 said:Look, don't lecture him then. Just let the guy connect to the home internet.😁

I'm not holding him back, honestly. It’ll probably be set up soon enough. We just moved recently...

crimsongull20 said:If you really want to be proactive about prevention, maybe just gouge both his eyes out.

thumbs up: 🤣

cosmicridge5 said:... did you guys actually talk about it? You know, without the whole hysterical meltdown thing, just being friendly? What’s his actual take on all this? 🙂

We talked. No hysterics involved. 😎
His main point is that none of this is actually "real," so he doesn't see any reason to change anything that he actually enjoys. He’s all about living an "authentic life" and all that crap. As for his job, it isn't strictly about the interest rates, but honestly, it's just a massive pain in the ass trying to lay out those facts to him...😳
Anyway, thanks to everyone for the input!

cosmicridge5 said:That’s why I was begging you to explain just how far this actually goes... 😁 Is he really tied up with it most of the day, like it's actually interfering with his daily life? How does that even look in practice? 😁

A few months back, when he had internet access right in his room, it basically consumed his entire day. I can't tell you exactly how many hours we're talking about. crimsongull20 used to laugh about how we didn't have any Wi-Fi in the house because of it, but honestly, it’s the only way to keep things somewhat under control.
Now that the internet is cut off, he just heads down to the local public library to stay "up to date," I guess???
It’s the same story at work—he grabs any chance he can get to go online. As for whether it's "interfering with his life"... hmm. Is it really an interference, or is it more like a liability if his boss actually caught on to what he's doing and decided to fire him on the spot?

trailer said:is he actually addicted to sex, or is it something else entirely?
Let's break this down for a second...😉

If someone is just hooked on sex, honestly, I wouldn't care that much... According to some studies, they might even live longer and stay in better shape.😉
It’s the other stuff that gets to me... If someone is having sex regularly but then spends hours scrolling through garbage—not even actual movies, but amateur clips, spy cams, and that kind of filth—is that even normal? Like I asked before:
At what point does watching porn stop being entertainment and start being an addiction? There has to be a line somewhere...

restlesspanther1 said:Why even bother hoping?

If he isn't what you need, just find someone else... there's really no point in making up diagnoses to justify staying. 😉

Honestly, that’s the one thing that keeps me stuck on him. In almost every other way, we’re soulmates... it's just this one issue. I was more interested in finding a solution—like, how can I actually help him? Or, if I listen to what crimsongull20 was saying, maybe the real work is helping myself. Maybe I need to check my own ego and stop feeling so "threatened"... though, if I'm being honest, it feels more like being rejected...