Gary Harris12 said:Help me out here, if you don't mind... I really don't want a traditional wedding, but I'm honestly terrified of how my family and friends might react... I'd love to completely skip that whole thing where they come to pick up the bride; I'd much rather guests just arrive at the church where the parents are already waiting, and then I finally make my entrance. I also have zero interest in tossing a bouquet or a garter, and I definitely don't want some wedding band blasting folk music all night. Instead, I’d probably put together a playlist of romantic ballads for a DJ, or maybe if I can find a jazz ensemble, I'll just let them do their thing. As for those local folk musicians, I'd probably have them play during the second dinner service or something... and I think I could find a graceful way to wrap everything up around 2 AM, maybe with everyone outdoors. To be honest, I've never actually been to a wedding like this back in the Midwest... around here, it seems like the goal is just to cram as many people as possible into a hall until it smells like sweat, everyone's getting hammered, and loud, tacky music is blaring. It feels tragic because it looks like everyone is having a blast, which makes me worry that my wedding will feel like a funeral by comparison...
Please... let me know what you think... or better yet, if anyone has actually done something like this before...
Look, I'm having the exact kind of wedding you're describing... though I did make a few compromises, yeah...
We ended up with 80 guests. Even though that sounds like a lot to some, I'm telling you—and I know typical Midwestern weddings have at least 300 people, but I couldn't see myself doing that—these were all people I truly care about. No distant cousins I haven't seen in twenty years. It was a small circle. We aren't following the old traditions. I live with my partner, so it would be fake as hell to have him come "pick me up." For practical reasons, though, I'm getting ready at my mom's since her place is bigger, and he'll take our apartment. He’ll just pick me up in the car with my parents—no big parade. I'm going to hang out with my bridesmaids beforehand to relax and grab a drink, then we head to the venue. Everyone will be waiting at the church, we'll marry, and then straight to the restaurant. We have a DJ and gave them a specific list; we'll have some live music too, but we're leaning towards rock and 80s pop. Stuff bands don't usually play, but I know people will dance to it (we made sure not to pick songs that only *we* liked, haha). I'm not planning to end at 2 AM just because; we'll stay as long as we can because I love dancing and want to soak it all up. I am tossing the bouquet, though. That's just fun—getting rid of it while there are eager candidates ready to catch it. That's the one tradition I'm keeping. I wanted a smaller guest list because I actually want to spend quality time with everyone. Like my best man said: You should have the wedding *you* want, period. He's 100% right. Though, honestly... you really have to know what you're doing. In the Midwest, it's considered pretty weird to have a small wedding, and you'll definitely hear some gossip. People just don't get that you have a tight-knit circle and don't want to invite every single person on your parents' contact list...
I love big weddings too, and I totally respect people who want them. If a couple has 500 close friends and family and they're loving every second of it, that's beautiful. But I've seen weddings planned by parents where the bride and groom look like miserable little wet birds, sitting there not even knowing half the people in the room 👎. I hate forced vibes from any side...
