Posts by Larry Hall54

Harold Adams5 said:So how exactly does a "great friend" end up robbing you?
it sounds like your judgment was off...
or maybe you weren't such a great friend yourself because you didn't realize he actually needed it and didn't lend it or help him out... and there's more to it than that. Why did you push the whole thing down? Probably because you had to face yourself. (Or maybe you haven't even reached that point yet. We always find it hardest to forgive ourselves)

No, my judgment was fine. It’s just that jealousy turns people into monsters. What good would my old books on the occult do him when he doesn't even understand what they are?
Are you sure you aren't just emotionally wounded here? Is this all about that "pain" you're feeling?🙂

Harold Adams5 said:Larry Hall54

..." so I'm out of commission for two days .."
that's what we're getting at here. When you're actually hurt...
to avoid being sidelined for those two days... denial doesn't work. It's not like you can just snap your fingers and make the
feelings disappear... emotions aren't something you can just switch off with your brain...
so how do you all trick yourselves into believing it won't last two days?

I stay busy.
Look, the last time I was emotionally rattled was a long time ago.
Think about it this way: Imagine you have this great friend, someone you hang out with almost every single day. And then they steal from you. You know it was them—you saw it, or you found your stuff exactly where you knew they’d stashed it.
Would that hurt you emotionally? Most people would. For me, I just move on. I suppress the experience, and that's that. I focus on something else. Especially since my job doesn't allow me to let my emotions show. So, I've learned how to compartmentalize. That's really all there is to it...🙂

Harold Adams5 said:😍
Are you really the only person on the planet who can pull that off? Just decide to forget about it?
Come on, seriously? It doesn't work like that. We aren't robots—though, honestly, there are times when not feeling the sting when someone hurts you would be a nice change of pace... but only then.
That approach might work on some random idiot passing by in the street, but we aren't talking about them here.

It works for me. And I’m definitely not alone in that; I know plenty of people who do the same. When I get those threatening letters from some fringe cultists or people trying to intimidate me one way or another, do you really think I lose sleep over it? If anyone actually has something on me, let them try. I don't have the bandwidth to deal with that kind of nonsense; I've got much more important things to do.
When I'm genuinely hurt emotionally, sure, I'll spend maybe two days in a bit of a funk, but then everything goes back to normal because I just bury myself in work and push it all to the back of my mind... 🙂

imago2007 said:Do you guys use any specific techniques—like trying to "forget," deconstruct, or just minimize the impact of those annoying little daily mishaps?

For instance, you get into a pointless argument with a coworker at the office, or someone nearly knocks you over getting onto the subway and then has the nerve to yell at you. You know deep down you aren't in the wrong, and maybe you handled it fine or just stayed quiet, but that stress still lingers inside you.

Do you use any methods to break down those everyday micro-stresses or minor irritations?

How do you actually find your way back to being calm?

I’d assume that if you can master this, the same logic applies to the big life stuff too.

Honestly, I don't really think about it, let alone do anything about it.
A thought just drifts through my head: "You've got better things to do," and then it's gone.
Why bother stressing? Why waste energy on something that's just going to eat at me when there's absolutely nothing I can do to change the outcome? Not really worth it. At the end of the day, we're all just people, and isn't it true that everyone makes mistakes?
Nobody is worth my peace of mind, especially not when it comes to trivial nonsense.
Especially if someone starts acting tough, saying things like, "I'll knock your teeth out..." or whatever.
Who cares? I just think: If you're so eager to swing, go ahead and hit the wall; you've got a head, after all.
And then I just move on...🙂