Posts by urbannomad12

Hey restlessmarlin6, I totally get where you're coming from.

Since I've had way too much free time over the last month—seriously, an absurd amount—I managed to fly through about a whole library shelf's worth of reading.
Mostly stuff on finance, business, and psychology. It turns out they're all deeply intertwined, more than I ever realized. Honestly, most of these books hit the exact same note: WE BECOME WHAT WE THINK.

Over time, a person develops these dominant thoughts that basically build their entire worldview and drive how they act. When a new chapter of life starts, new ideas might take center stage, but those old ones don't just vanish—they just retreat into the subconscious.
Along those lines, true human creativity really shines when someone focused on a specific goal hits that sudden breakthrough—you know, the "eureka!" moment—by tapping into that subconscious layer.

When we want something, we set it as a goal. Eventually, that goal evolves into a deep-seated craving, and we start subconsciously driving actions to satisfy that hunger. To make it happen, we soak up any knowledge that might give us an edge. Suddenly, opportunities start popping up everywhere—chances we would have completely missed before because we weren't looking at the world through this "new" lens.

No successful person in America has ever made it without first envisioning it in their mind.

So, honestly, how can anyone argue against the need to master our own thoughts and emotions?
If I had to find one flaw in all this logic, it's this: what happens to the people who miss the mark? Some swap one goal for another and still succeed, while others just get bitter and blame the whole world.
Then there's the third group—the worst kind, in my opinion—the people who actually "make it" but remain miserable. Think of those wealthy folks living in constant fear of losing everything, or people who never know when enough is enough, chasing extremes until they lose it all. Even urbannomad12 realized that was the core of the problem...

There’s really no point in bashing people who listen to country music—so I won’t go there. But saying it doesn't matter what kind of music someone likes? That's just nonsense. How can you be dating someone who lives for country hits if you can't even stand the stuff? Where are you guys even going on dates, and what are you listening to while you're out?

We take our high-end tech from Germans, pick up our legal standards from Judges, and grab our style from brands like Cobar 11—then we pull musical influence from our neighbors and fashion from the Italians. And what exactly are we contributing to the mix? It feels like we just sit back while others make fun of how our athletes struggle against their pop stars. Honestly, we’re such an original bunch—if we didn't exist, someone would probably have to invent us just to fill the gap.

I’ll admit—I’m definitely oversimplifying things here.
My point is that emotions should really just be viewed as signals. They're essentially just biological feedback loops caused by shifting chemical levels in the brain. Let’s set aside the heavy stuff like mortality for a moment—that's a much bigger beast entirely—and focus on those little daily things that drive our happiness or misery.
Take my own struggle with self-confidence, for instance:
Believe it or not, guys actually need confidence just to approach you—and there are moments when they lose it completely (thanks to life or someone else), making it incredibly tough to get back. To regain it, you almost need the environment around you to provide some sort of validation to pull them back to reality. Most people need a mountain of real-world evidence before they truly feel it. For me, whenever I felt insecure, I’d just fixate on those specific times when I was absolutely beaming with confidence. Eventually, that mental image of my "sure" self just drowned out the doubt.
😎Don't get me wrong—I haven't turned into some arrogant jerk—but it worked, and that's what matters.

On the flip side, I'm certain there are people who spiral into depression during these times, whereas a simple shift in mindset—given enough time and serious motivation—can work wonders.

When we feel sadness, it’s usually because we’ve been conditioned—by a society we didn't choose, mind you—to believe certain events *require* a certain level of grief. But what if we just... changed those internal rules? Would those same moments actually feel happy, or maybe just neutral? Take death, for instance: in our culture, we focus on mourning, yet there are other traditions out there that celebrate life passing as something truly sacred.

(I'm using sadness as an example here—don't worry, I'm not actually a depressed person) 😍

Smile, and the whole world smiles with you. Cry, and you'll find yourself weeping alone.

I think everyone wants to take at least one part of themselves and upgrade it—you know, turn it into something more useful. I don't see any harm in that, especially since I've actually managed to pull off a few changes myself. For instance, I’ve learned how to just swat away negative thoughts like flies—it’s almost become second nature now. Every time a dark thought creeps in, my brain immediately pivots to something positive. But to make that work, you have to constantly monitor your own actions without getting caught up in making excuses or overanalyzing everything. You just observe—like, "Oh, okay, I'm thinking this right now"—and move on. Over time, I noticed certain patterns emerging; if a thought wasn't serving me, I tossed it out and swapped it for something better. It’s all fine, really, but...

Sometimes, though—and maybe this sounds a bit silly—all this mental discipline is exhausting. It makes it hard to just relax and *be*. There’s a part of me that just wants to drop the act, react impulsively to whatever happens around me, and stop overthinking everything. Does my disciplined way of thinking actually increase my chances of success, while this other, more primal way might actually increase my chances of being happy? Is constant awareness and deep thought somehow at odds with what we call happiness?

I’ve been using this forum for about six months now—it’s relatively new to me—as I try to overhaul my entire life. Mostly, I'm focusing on the little things: daily habits, how I react when things get tense, all that stuff. On top of that, I’ve been working on my emotional intelligence—trying to catch a feeling the second it hits and stepping back to observe it rather than letting it run the show. I'm starting to realize that emotions are really just my own interpretation of what's happening; I’m essentially the one creating them and tearing them down. I’ve actually managed to "reprogram" myself in a few areas—it's pretty wild to catch myself reacting to a situation in a way that feels totally foreign, realizing I actually influenced my own behavior through autosuggestion and some mental rewiring techniques.

But honestly? The constant self-analysis and dissecting my own reactions is starting to freak me out a little. I have to wonder—does everyone do this? Is everyone constantly overthinking their own psyche in an attempt to level up? Or is everyone else perfectly content with who they are, likely looking at someone like me and thinking I've completely lost it? And really, where do we draw the line?