Posts by feraleagle24

Right, I totally blanked on saying this, but the absolute most critical thing is getting your brother started on his medication. Seriously, if you have to, just force the issue and get him admitted to the hospital. You know how the system works—you call 911 and the paramedics, tell them he’s being aggressive toward himself and the family, and that’s usually the only way they'll intervene. It feels terrible, honestly, like such a heavy-handed way to help someone you love, but when the procedure is this broken and disgusting, what else can you do? My own brother ended up in a psychiatric ward in Chicago through that exact process, and he was stuck there for three weeks. But look, it worked. He’s been consistent with his meds ever since. At first, my mom had to watch him like a hawk to make sure he actually took them, but now? It’s just become part of his daily routine.

There’s actually an excellent book out there on all of this—it's by Hans-Jurgen Luderer, titled *Schizophrenia: Learning to Live with the Illness* (it's packed with useful info for patients and their families). Honestly, watching someone you love lose their will to live is gut-wrenching, but that’s just part of the condition. You have to find ways to help them, specifically by finding what sparks a little bit of motivation in them. For instance, we used to take my brother out for walks every single day; eventually, it just became his routine, and now he goes out on his own without us even asking. We were constantly reading up on everything, and now he’s started reading a ton himself! My husband spends hours drawing, and he actually managed to get my brother interested in it too—my husband will sit there for hours, while my brother might manage thirty minutes, but hey, it's progress! Dealing with them can feel a lot like raising children sometimes; instead of teaching them the alphabet, you're trying to teach them how to actually be interested in *something*. It’s incredibly tough at first, but eventually, these things become part of their daily pattern. I am sending so much luck to you and your family. Just stay optimistic—the world isn't over, it's just this illness!!!!

Carl Gray65 said:The hardest part is watching him spiral while Mom and I just watch on helplessly......
Such a devastating diagnosis... and I often feel like nobody is truly stepping up to help him......

God, I know that pain. Watching my own mother crumble was devastating, especially because my dad—of course he did—just packed up and started an entirely new family after everything fell apart. But look, the hardest part eventually passes. Once Dad left, Mom and my brother finally found their own rhythm. She dedicated herself to him, and she truly loves him and helps him; I think they actually became friends through all this. The truth is, society doesn't give a damn about people in these situations; it’s only family that provides any real shelter or support. It sounds like you’re in a similar boat—you have enough family members to rotate the caretaking duties. When one person hits a wall, someone else needs to step in. Please, protect both Mom and your brother, because your brother is a victim here, not some criminal. You really need to find a psychotherapist who can work on getting him to actually take his medication, while also helping you figure out how to live in this "new normal." I believe there are even free psychologists out there who specialize in family crises through Catholic Charities. Look around where you live; in my city, they were a huge help to us.
After the initial shock and the total collapse of our lives, my family began to rise like a Phoenix; we learned how to adapt and live with the reality of F20.0.
I absolutely adore my brother. I admire how he handles such a brutal illness, and I’m genuinely grateful for the chance to be there for him.👍
Did your brother finish school? Is he working at all, or how does he spend his days?

Carl Gray65 said:It’s terrifying. I live with a brother who has schizophrenia, and when he skips his meds—which is where we are right now—he gets aggressive. We’re all living in constant fear for our lives... honestly, people like him, especially if they can't hold down a job, should be in specialized facilities. Places where they can socialize but also actually stick to their treatment plans and stop being a public health hazard... because my brother specifically isn't "fine" even when he *is* medicated... at least then I'm not fearing for my life... He was hospitalized once after nearly killing my younger brother... and they just let him out after two weeks. And now, suddenly, he's "doing great." Can you believe that? It's easy to say he's fine when he's been heavily sedated for fourteen days... I'd love to see some doctor try living with him for a week before they claim everything is perfectly under control...

I also live with a brother diagnosed with F20.0, though he stays consistent with his treatment. For us, life is actually pretty peaceful; he has these specific rituals and habits that I don't quite wrap my head around, but he isn't a threat to anyone, including himself. For instance, he hits the sack early, wakes up at dawn, and heads into town for coffee while everyone else is rushing off to work. He’s obsessed with movies—he can watch the same film three times in a single day. He doesn't care for friends, especially people his own age, and he loves his cigarettes... Sometimes I wish things were different, but mostly we just accept him for who he is. It stings a little seeing his peers working jobs or finishing college while he's just lying there watching films, but it is what it is. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that he isn't having psychotic breaks and isn't suffering. Nobody chooses to deal with this kind of illness.

Would you personally want a close friend or even a family member living with schizophrenia?
Look, I have a family member dealing with schizophrenia. It wasn’t exactly my choice, nor is it some "blessing" in my life, but let me tell you—every single time he hits remission, it feels better than any promotion at work or any relationship milestone I've ever hit. Honestly, those moments of stability mean more to me than anything else. My little brother was diagnosed when he was seventeen, so there's a significant age gap between us, and seeing him go through that sent my parents into such deep depressions they're still fighting through today. Schizophrenia has basically become an uninvited guest in our house—it's this entity that torments us, wears us down, and just hurts... but we aren't backing down. We refuse to break.
Even though I never asked for this kind of chaos in my family, if there's a silver lining, it's that this entire experience has forced me to grow. It pushes me to be more compassionate and to dig deeper into my own humanity so I can actually understand people facing all sorts of struggles.
He even poked fun at my writing earlier and gave me a laugh; since he's in remission right now, the illness has taken a temporary leave of absence, but we aren't naive... we know it could come back at any time. But we're ready. We'll be ready.🙂